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2010-12-26T21:23:00.000-08:00

Back from a long hiatus: Like a thunderclap, emotions can appear out of nowhere

2010-07-09T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm back to blogging after a few months off, and it's taking a lot of time to transfer posts from my former Faith Matters page because of the software we used. New posts will eventually show up, so please put my blogspot in your feed.

This is an oldie (but a goodie):

Please watch this video first before reading on (just click on the text below):

Hanging out with a friend in her kitchen on a relaxing afternoon, I heard the sound of rain kissing the window pane and asked whether we could open the back door so that we could watch the rain fall.

I sat at the kitchen table and watched what soon became a strong cloudburst, raindrops relentlessly pounding the deck railing. The sound of pouring rain on the leaves of trees especially is calming and mesmerizing, and I enjoy watching it rain and listening to the many sounds produced. But what begins as gentle rainfall also can turn ugly real quick, bursting into a severe thunderstorm within seconds.

I thought then about how just a moment before all was quiet. And then, all of a sudden, a rainstorm. It took me by surprise because, although we'd been outside a few minutes before, it was sunny, and I wasn't paying attention to whether there were clouds in the sky.

It reminded me of how we can be confronted and taken off guard with something or someone that irritates us and bam! we have an immediate reaction, like a rainstorm that seems to come out of nowhere.

Think about how things are brewing in the heavenlies long before a drop of rain falls to the Earth. That's how it is with the heart.

There are emotions brewing in there all the time. And when we choose not to deal with those emotions, all they can do is rattle around in there until, one day, conditions are just right for a rainstorm and clap! the thunder rolls, lightning flashes and then somebody gets hurt.

It happens to the best of us. But God gave us our emotions, and having them is not a bad thing. Remember, God has emotions, and we're told that we are "made in His image and likeness."

God grieves. He feels sorrow. He laughs. He gets angry. Our Bibles tell us this in so many ways so many times in Old Testament passages. Jesus is no different. He got angry, irritated and weary with people and their behavior on occasion, and the Bible doesn't sugarcoat his responses in any of those instances either.

We're called to be Christ-like in our responses to others, regardless of what they've said or done. Man, it is so hard sometimes.

But what's important is how we choose to handle the emotions we have. Like I said yesterday, they're inevitable and unavoidable. The longer we try to avoid their existence or brush off our reactions to them, the longer we'll have to deal with the unfortunate results of letting our emotions get out of control.

We get angry with what someone says and react without taking a moment to process the context or consider what the person's motive is, even to consider how he has always treated us with kindness and respect before this particular comment or incident.

We get depressed because we think somebody just looked at us the wrong way -- without considering that he probably has so many pressing matters on his mind that while he may be in our midst physically, his mind is likely far away, worrying about some business meeting or playing over some conversation in his mind that made him unhappy.

While our emotions sometimes produce immediate feelings that can be as unexpected and as volatile as a cloudburst, that doesn't mean that we have to react with the same speed and force.

In fact, it's our responsibility to make every effort to do the opposite. Otherwise we do risk hurting one another. And we know all too well that our words -- even our looks and our general demeanor -- can be damaging to another person's spirit. I'll be the first to say that I've been guilty of not guarding my mouth.

Next post: When an issue does come up (i.e. we get irritated or offended with someone's actions or words), what should come next is a discussion with God about the situation, then with the one who rubs us the wrong way (if that's even necessary, now that we've gone to God). And, by the way, it's not wise to wait too long before the discussions take place. Otherwise those emotions have a chance to do that brewing thing, and they can brew out of control if the heat gets turned up.

Do you challenge yourself spiritually and, if not, then why not?

2010-01-20T18:56:00.000-08:00

Before I go on with the continuation of last week's most recent post, I want to share this link with you.

It's a story we ran in our Religion section on Saturday about ‘The Kingdom Experiment.'

After I leave my own church service on Sundays, I've been zipping over to Thrive Church to participate in the eight-week study they're doing on the Beatitudes during what they call the A.M. Exchange, when members break into small groups after the service is over.

It's been going on for two weeks (this specific study, not the A.M. Exchange), but you're more than welcome to get in on it by visiting their church next Sunday or anytime (although it's best to get in on it closer to the beginning, as in, now, so that you won't be too far behind).

The message each Sunday for these next few weeks will continue to drive home what's being said in the study. If you want to participate, you can get caught up by listening to the sermons online here.

You also can expect to see some comments by me here on that study from time to time in the next few weeks. It's a thought-provoking discussion on how to practically live what we read in these points that Jesus made in His ‘Sermon on the Mount’ in the book of Matthew, Chapter 5.

Actually, it goes a lot deeper than that, but I guess I'd say that so far, for me, it has been a challenge to examine my heart and to explore whether I display these characteristics, i.e. 'blessed are the poor in spirit,' or have these things mentioned happening in my life, i.e. 'blessed are you when men cast insults at you ..."

Each week there are specific challenges for the week ahead that we are expected to choose from. These challenges involve doing something out of the ordinary, perhaps even uncomfortable, in order to gain a deeper understanding of what Jesus was getting at in his list of what we call the ‘Beatitudes.’

Some require you to give of yourself or your money, others require meditating on how the scripture applies to your own life or the lives of others. Each challenge surprises me so far. I'll share a little here occasionally about which challenges I'm choosing each week.

So far, I've chosen the challenge to fast (first week, "blessed are the poor in spirit"). And I'm bouncing between two challenges this week for the second chapter of the book we're using, which focuses on 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.':
1.) Consider yourself and those you know who mourn the loss of a future that will never be realized. Spend a week considering how God redeems the dreams and futures of those He loves.
2.) Consider influential Christian leaders who are in the national spotlight because of their sin and have risked the faith of those they have taught. Spend a week praying for these leaders and for those whose faith has been threatened.

I hope you'll consider joining in. You can find all the information you need to know about the church at its Web site. If you're unable to attend the services, you can still listen online. I hope you will.

Next post: I'll continue with what I mentioned in the last post -- the conversations I had last week with co-workers that left me feeling tremendously grateful for the life I get to live.

I am about to admit something, so read on

2010-01-14T19:11:00.000-08:00

I am about to admit something to you. On occasion, I have a tendency to feel sorry for myself.

Not all the time. Not every day. But every once in a great while, I start feeling like life is just not fair, not on any level, and I feel this bitterly. And then the questioning comes.

And I question everything that you could possibly imagine that could drift into the human mind. Why this and why that. What if, why not and so on.

I try mightily to avoid it. I try to count my blessings. I am determined to do so, because I really am extremely fortunate on several levels.

I frequently am reminded of how great my life is (usually by others, those who tell me that they wish they had my life, for various reasons that I won't get into right now), and yet, I'm just not feeling it.

I completely understand this desire, though, because I grew up wishing that I were someone else — actually several someone elses — and that desire carried over into adulthood.

It wasn't until I began to recognize that I was created for a specific purpose that I began to reject that desire. In fact, once I realized my worth, just exactly as I am, the desire to live someone else's life no longer needed to be "rejected." It just simply went away.

And all of a sudden, I just wanted to be no one other than me. That's a great place to be, spiritually or otherwise. And I'm telling you, it took a long time to get there and a major shift in my thinking to actually value who I am, just as I am, without desperately wanting to be farther along somehow, maturity-wise, spiritually, just as an enlightened person or a good person or whatever.

And yet, sometimes, when I'm struggling in some area and disliking my life for some reason — and then someone new tells me that they want my life and want to discard their own — I still think to myself:

"You think my life is so great and that you want to be me — you want to switch places with me and to do what I do every week, musically or journalistically or whatever — but you have no idea what I've had to go through (how I've had to be humbled, to be broken, even in very public ways sometimes) to get to where I am, spiritually or otherwise, and just how hard it is to be me sometimes."

And again, let me reiterate just so you know that I'm not knocking anyone that I do totally understand that desire to be someone else, because I didn't want to be me for so many years of my life. Maybe one day I will go into it in more detail here, but not today.

So, all that to say this: Here I go feeling crummy about my own life, about what's happening or not happening in it, and then somebody comes along and tells me something about someone else's life that so rocks my world that I immediately snap out of it and go off by myself, lift my hands and whisper a heartfelt prayer of thanks.

Next post: I have just held two separate conversations with co-workers this morning that explain everything I'm getting to here. I'll share those conversations with you in the next post.

Opportunities to give real encouragement that lasts are not in short supply

2010-01-11T19:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I wrote about how vitally important it is for us as Christians to remember our purpose in this world: To affect other people with the love of God.

How you do that may look very different than how I do it. And it will likely be different with every person you come in contact with.

What's important is that we make the effort that's necessary now to be able to affect others with the love of Jesus whenever the opportunity arises.

I mentioned yesterday that what we do today — or don't do today — affects what we will do tomorrow. If I choose to spend time cultivating relationship with God today, I will be more readily able to obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit when someone needs a word of encouragement or prayer or direction from God.

I'll be ready to be a conduit for whatever God wants to do in someone else's life: A conduit for God's power, love and counsel to flow, for another person's benefit in some way.

That kind of thing changes everything for the person who needs to hear it. And I can look back over the years and remember times when I was desperately needing direction, grace or forgiveness. God used people — everyday people who were committed to hearing from and obeying God — to say very specific things to me, even prophetic things at times, that brought tremendous amounts of hope and grace when I was miserable or brokenhearted or both.

Having said this, I have an example of something simple that happened last week that illustrates this point.

A friend and I went to Kohls about a week after Christmas so that I could exchange a gift — a ring I received that is too big.

I showed the receipt to the sales associate in the jewelry department, and he showed me where the rings are displayed, following me over there to help me find the right size.

He noticed where the original gift was bought: Hermitage, near Nashville. (That's where my family lives.)

He said, "Wow, you came all the way from Hermitage to see if you could find a ring in the right size?"

"Nope," I replied. "My mom lives in Hermitage, and she bought the ring for me there, for Christmas. I live in Jackson. Been here 14 years."

"So you're from Hermitage originally, huh?" he said. "Why in the world would you want to stay here when you could live in Nashville? I lived in Nashville for awhile, went to school there, but now I'm back in Jackson, and I'd rather be in Nashville."

This exchange led to a lengthy conversation about where this guy is in life. He's disappointed with where he's going, or rather, not going.

He's drifting in life, working two jobs, working in a field he's not the least bit interested in. He really wants to go into radio. "That's my real passion," he said. And he continued on, with many more facts about his life.

He told me all this, with no prompting whatsoever. I mean, he volunteered it all.

I thought to myself as I listened and browsed through the rings, "There's a reason he's opening up like this. Lord, what do you want me to do with this?"

I listened some more, and then I spoke, answering his original question: "Why in the world would you want to live here when you could live in Nashville?"

I told him about the opportunities I've had here to grow in my career, how I've been able to hone my skills. I told him what I do for a living every day, and how it has helped me to grow in so many ways as a person, especially as a Christian.

And then I got to the crux of the matter: My commitment to the will of God for my life is Priority No. 1 — and that means that I don't make decisions based on what I think I might like to do or not do. I told him that I specifically make the choice of where I will live based on what I know to be the will of God for my life, for this time in my life.

That also includes where I am in church, I said, with what God has for me to do there, what I'm supposed to learn there and who I associate with regularly during this time in my life.

And I went on to tell him that this decision — to go or to stay where God wants me rather than to do what I would sometimes like to do — isn't an easy decision. I'd much rather be closer to my family. Who wouldn't? But that's not what God is leading me to do right now. So I do what I know I'm called to do, stay accountable and let the Lord show me what to do next, and not the other way around.

I said all this while trying on rings. It took all of 20 seconds.

When I looked up, his face was sober. He indicated that what I said was hitting home. He mentioned that he has a church background. I knew that this was a divine appointment, orchestrated by God.

I went on, "You know, you can do so much more. If your passion is radio, you need to pursue it. There's no reason why you can't be successful. God has a bright future for you if you'll just embrace it and do what it takes to get there. Don't just settle for the status quo. There's no reason for you to have to work two jobs that you don't enjoy. There's more out there for you if you'll just ask the Holy Spirit to lead you."

And then I asked him if he'd like for me to pray for him, for direction and clarity about what he is supposed to do next. And so we did. It only took another 30 seconds, but the whole direction of his life may have changed that night.

Now, I don't tell this story to toot my own horn. There's nothing great about me or what I do. I'm not super-spiritual, and I often don't feel qualified to do anything that I do.

But I am going to make myself available to the leading of the Holy Spirit, even when it makes me uncomfortable (and I was uncomfortable praying with someone that I don't know in the middle of a department store).

I stumbled all over the place, because I have trouble getting the right words out sometimes. My prayers are not flowery. But that sales associate needed direction in life. He needed some encouragement, and I would be remiss to ignore that and go on my way.

I believe that God wanted to do something powerful in his life that night. And this is the kind of thing we need to be sensitive to in the lives of others when we're just out living our own. People come into our lives for a reason, even if it is for only a few minutes in a department store.

God wants to use all of us in this way to affect somebody's life. The opportunities are definitely not in short supply. Are you willing to make yourself available?

Encouragement -- everyone needs a little

2010-01-06T19:14:00.000-08:00

I want to continue today with the theme I wrote about here last week: Forgetting how fortunate we are in America fosters a measure of complacency in the Christian life. (If you're just coming in on this, please go back a few posts to get caught up.)

This is important to consider, because complacency is a problem. We're supposed to be affecting people everywhere we go, every day.

You may say that complacency in your walk with God really isn't a problem, because it doesn't seem to be affecting anyone else but you. But that's not so.

What we do today affects what we do — or don't do — tomorrow.

What we do today affects our focus, whether we have single-minded purpose or are just drifting through life.

We're supposed to be affecting people — with our speech, with our actions, with our habits, with how we live our everyday lives. That requires focus.

If we don't prepare ourselves today for what may come tomorrow, we won't be ready to offer whatever it is that others need spiritually. And that's pretty important to Jesus.

If you're complacent, you're really not even going to make the effort to reach anyone with the love of God in a meaningful way. Honestly, you won't even be aware of the fact that others need what you have.

(I'm not fussing at anyone, by the way. I'm including myself in this as well. Being a committed Christian is not easy, and I've been complacent spiritually before and have had to take a hard look at my own life and walk with God and make major adjustments at times.)

See, there are people we come in contact with every day who need a word of encouragement, people you've never met before. There are people who need to be prayed with. There are people who are losing hope for all kinds of reasons, who desperately need a "word in due season" (Prov. 15:23).

I encounter these people all the time. It may be one of your co-workers. It could be a friend of a friend. It could be anybody, Christian or non-Christian, churchgoer or casual seeker.

They're all important to the Lord, and it might be you that the Lord has chosen to affect them, at any given time.

Are you going to be ready? Will you choose to make yourself available when the opportunity arises? To be sensitive to what someone else is saying, maybe even in passing, and then "be Jesus" to that person?

When Jesus left, he gave the disciples the job to do that He had been preparing them for. And from then on, it was emphasized that we should "commit the promises to faithful men, who will teach others also" (2 Tim. 2:2).

When Jesus took off, He expected those He taught to continue to do what He had done, to spread the word, with signs of God's reality following. And to disciple others. It's been the same for every generation since, and it's the same for us.

We really are to be the hands and feet of Jesus on the Earth today, to reach the generation in which we live. Jesus reaches people now through us — and it's our responsibility to be ready.

I'm reminded of the scripture that mentions what is required to be a disciple of Jesus: "No one who puts his hand to the plow and then turns back is fit for service in the kingdom of God" (Luke 9:62).

Man, that's convicting. How often have I "turned back" — or just even wanted to — because what was required of me was difficult to bear or frightening to step into?

I guess the most important question to ask ourselves is this: Are we really interested in being disciples or are we merely interested in being the casual church-going Christian, one who prayed a prayer many years ago to "accept Jesus" but has grown no further than just attending church?

Your honest answer will determine whether you're even willing to "put your hand to the plow."

Going through life as a disciple is very different (and sometimes much more difficult) than being a casual seeker. Nothing is required of the seeker. He chooses what he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it. His decision about having a relationship with God is determined more on a whim than on anything contained in scripture — which is the basis of all we do and say.

If he feels he needs God, he may seek for Him occasionally, maybe seek counsel or ask for help or read a few passages here and there.

But being a disciple — which is what Jesus is looking for — requires action, every day, sometimes when it's not convenient, sometimes when we don't really feel like fulfilling the requirements.

It requires commitment. And that's tough, because we're used to having the freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want, and need no one's permission to do it.

Next post: I'm not saying we should strive in this area. Striving is exhausting and leads to a legalistic lifestyle. But when a situation arises and we have an opportunity to speak, we should do so. I'll share a personal story.

As Christians living in America, we're spoiled

2010-01-04T19:28:00.000-08:00

By the way: I started building on a theme a couple of days ago, so if you haven't stopped by here for awhile, please circle back to the first post on this topic, published here two days ago.

I mentioned at the end of yesterday's post the complacency that can creep in when we forget how fortunate we are to worship freely in this nation.

I'll paste it here again: Forgetting how fortunate we are in America fosters a measure of complacency in the Christian life — and that affects how often we read our Bibles, how often we talk with others about what we read in them and also whether we ever bother to talk with and even pray with those we meet in public places.

A friend and I wandered around Books-A-Million the other day looking for a spiral-bound calendar that I can carry around like a journal (if you've seen them anywhere around here, by the way, please let me know. I've looked everywhere.)

On my way around the store I noted the heaps of Bible totes hanging on hooks. Totes of every size and color. Totes with handles, totes you can carry like a purse. Heaps of them, along with shelves packed with every type of Bible imaginable.

Study bibles with special concordances and footnotes. Thinline Bibles with especially small print. Bibles for teens, Bibles for men, Bibles for the single mom, all filled with inspirational quotes and points to ponder.

And every translation under the sun is there, all available at the one book store we have, the one that put every other seller of new books out of business -- read Davis-Kidd Booksellers & Cafe and Waldenbooks, both in midtown -- yes, the monopoly we call Books-A-Million (I know they owned Bookland in the mall, also in midtown, but why couldn't they just leave us one other book store?)

Anything original in Jackson with even minimal character and charm (save my favorite coffee shop, the Frog on East Baltimore) gets pushed out by the big box store every time. (Green Frog is destined to succeed, so we're not worried about that one at the moment. They blow Starbucks out of the water.)

Forgive me for going there. Anyway, we're up to our ears in Bibles and Bible covers and totes. But how often are we cracking them open to fill our minds with the treasure of scripture? Those in China and many, many other parts of the world risk their lives to carry the thing in public.

They carefully speak of scripture in the marketplace. In some countries, where the Bible has been outlawed, people gather to read a page at a time, to pore over it, to discuss it, to memorize it so that they can meditate on it, because that's the only opportunity they'll get for awhile.

We have scripture at our disposal 24/7. Are we treasuring these words of God the Father, the prophetic books, the gospels, the letters to the early church?

Or do they just receive a cursory glance on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings when we're in church?

I'm not saying this to condemn or to be super-spiritual. Sometimes I open my Bible and nothing jumps out at me. Sometimes I sit down to read and everything just seems stale. Sometimes I don't feel like reading it. I'm only human. And so are you.

But if we got really honest with ourselves, how much do we truly treasure the resource other Christians long to have at their fingertips? We're spoiled (me included).

Next post: Forgetting how fortunate we are in America fosters a measure of complacency in the Christian life that affects whether we take full advantage of those "divine appointments" God sets up for us. I'll share a story about my trip to Kohl's last week.

When we take our freedoms for granted, it affects everything

2010-01-03T19:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I made mention here of the freedoms we should be holding dear in this country, freedoms that keep us from being forced to worship a certain way or to worship at all.

I don't think we fully realize what it would be like to live in a country where we might at any time be forced into professing a certain faith — and face imprisonment or certain death if we refuse.

I mentioned yesterday that Christians in China who don't want to worship in state-mandated religious institutions have to meet "underground," and they're often meeting in cramped conditions under the cover of night, having to hide their activities so that they won't be jailed for encouraging a religious mindset that civil authorities view as a threat to their nation's unity.

Imagine for a moment being pressured into worshiping in a certain denomination or being pressured to worship in public a deity that you don't even believe exists, thereby having to espouse a certain mindset in public — even when you believe otherwise in your heart of hearts — in order to avoid being killed, or having your family live in fear of kidnapping and certain death if you publicly renounce that mindset and choose to follow Christ's teachings.

We like to think we could handle it, but we have no idea what it must be like to live that way every day.

By the way, you can read more about the kind of persecution that's going on around the world here.

Anyway, I got to thinking about the privilege we have as Christians to read a Bible, anywhere, anytime, and to talk with others about what we've read in it, again, anywhere we want to do so.

I understand that there are restrictions at schools and school-related functions now, but I'm not addressing that issue today.

I'm talking about the fact that I can take my Bible anywhere. I can read it in a coffee shop and discuss what it says there with my friends. I did so just the other day. And I do it often.

I can read it while I'm standing in line at Kroger or at the post office. I do that often, too. I keep one in my car so that it's available to me anytime.

And anyone else of any other religion can do the same with the books they consider holy and not be hauled off to jail for it or threatened with bodily harm.

I know we've heard all this before, but I'm intentionally being simplistic today, because this really is something that we take for granted, and that affects our walk with God.

Here's how: Forgetting how fortunate we are in America fosters a measure of complacency in the Christian life — and that affects how often we read our Bibles, how often we talk with others about what we read in them and also whether we ever bother to talk with and even pray with those we meet in public places.

Next post: I'll get into that in detail tomorrow.

Be grateful your opinion won't land you on the far side of some desert — for real

2009-12-27T19:30:00.000-08:00

A couple of things I've seen and heard today have got me thinking about privileges in America we're extremely fortunate to have, namely, freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press.
• I'm talking about the freedom we have as citizens to disagree with our government and to say so publicly — to express our thoughts in a peaceful way without fear of reprisal; to be able to freely discuss with others in any public place what we think should be done or not be done, on the op-ed pages of our newspapers, on talk radio, on television and in any other public arena.
• I'm talking about the freedom that journalists have to gather information and to question our government, and to write about and broadcast what's going on or not going on, whether it's in a letter to the editor, in a news story, in an op-ed piece, in a blog or in an analysis piece.
• I'm talking about the freedom that we as Americans have to either worship or not worship — to say what we want to say publicly about whether we believe in God or whether we think religion is a bunch of hooey. None of us is forced by anyone to profess any certain faith. Non-believers can choose to reject any kind of religious persuasion. This is not so in many places.
One of my friends prayed at church this morning with a thankful heart for the freedom we as Christians in America have to assemble wherever we want, whenever we want, to worship as we choose. We've got issues in this country, but we are still a fortunate bunch.

A friend and I were discussing last night over dinner the persecution going on right now in many different parts of the world, where Christians not only can't assemble without fear and must gather in one another's homes under cover of night (think "China"), but ordinary believers also live in fear of being jailed or, much worse, losing their lives: publicly beheaded or burned to death, along with their elders, inside locked churches (think "Indonesia").

I've posted a link to an AP story below that I just edited for Monday's A section. It's about an Iranian journalist who has been sentenced to prison and then several years of exile on the edge of a remote desert — all because he chose to challenge his country's government.

Like I said, we're extremely fortunate. Let's not take for granted the fact that we still have a free press that can carry on its watchdog role, along with the precious freedom to say what we (the public) want to say anywhere, anytime, along with the freedom to practice religion or reject it altogether.

Without these privileges, we would end up in the same boat as this journalist, who is paying a very high price for speaking his mind.

You'll either prepare for the race and finish it or peter out halfway through it

2009-12-20T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today in church, this passage of scripture was the anchor of what was being taught.

It's 1 Cor. 9: 25-27: ‘Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. So I run — but not without a clear goal ahead of me. So I box — but not as if I were just shadow boxing. No, I discipline my body, making it serve *me* so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not somehow be disqualified.’

This is how we *must* be in the Christian life if we want to thwart the plans of the enemy of our souls, plans that would throw us off course — hindering us from fulfilling God's plans for us and, as a result, what might keep us from being available to those we are supposed to be reaching for Christ.

As the Body of Christ, this has to be our mindset, that we will do whatever it takes to ‘fight the good fight of faith.’

A few years ago I woke from a powerful dream that spoke to a situation in my life at the time. This dream gave me direction and clear focus on what was going on and how I needed to respond.

I know it was from God, because when I applied what I learned in the dream, my situation resolved itself. I'd like to share that dream today and what I learned from it.

In the dream, I was running a marathon with hundreds of people. I wore a number on my back and was steadily running along on a clear path with no difficulty.

A person ran up next to me and began to try to hold me back, running at the same pace *right up on me.* I tried to keep dodging him, but he would *not* leave me alone.

I moved away, he moved closer. I hung back, he matched my pace. I kept shoving him away, but he was persistent, and after awhile, it was no longer an annoyance but a real hindrance.

Then he went too far. As he ran alongside me, he threw his arm out in front of me to hold me back from moving ahead, and I thought to myself, ‘You're crazy if you think that I'm going to tolerate this one second longer.’

I was so fed up that I turned, grabbed him by the shoulders, pushed him through a sea of runners to my left and slammed him into a brick wall as hard as I could. He slid to the ground, unable to move. And I moved back into the race and picked up my pace.

Then I woke. It was dark outside, but I was wide awake. I prayed. Immediately, Heb. 12:1 came to mind: ‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.’

What happened in the dream sounds harsh — what I ended up doing — but I had to disable that hindrance. I had to regain a sense of single-minded purpose so that I could run my race.

That guy who was holding me back represented a hindrance in real life that I had to put in its place. I knew exactly what it was. And it was my choice and no one else's. My actions would determine what would happen next.

God wasn't going to remove the hindrance. Nobody was. I had to take control of the situation and, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, resolve it so that I could remain in the right race, in the will of God for my life.

What's going on in your life right now that you need to ‘disable’ so that you can continue to run without hindrance ‘the race that is set before you?’

Until you make the decision to ditch sin or any other entanglement that is holding you back — and it could be a relationship, an ungodly tie to someone or some situation, *even your insistence on running from God* — you'll continue to spin your wheels and go nowhere, whether you think you're going somewhere or not.

We have to keep our eyes on the prize, no matter how difficult circumstances may become. We have to ‘walk by faith and not by sight.’ We have to choose to ‘walk in the Spirit, and not in the flesh.’

It's not just going to happen because you want it to. Obedience to God's will has to be an act of *your* will. And you'll only be as obedient to God and His Word as you've trained yourself to be.

To be an endurance runner in God, you have to immerse yourself in the Word of God until it becomes a part of you. Rather than applying the Word to your life you have to apply your life to the Word.

This is extremely important in the Christian life, because we have a race to run, not just for ourselves but for those God has placed in our lives for us to disciple. ‘To whom much is given, much will be required’ (Luke 12:48).

Man, I wish it would just go on and snow

2009-12-16T19:46:00.000-08:00

I like the changing of seasons. I really do, even if it does mean that my feet have to be imprisoned in big, clunky, confining shoes for six months.

Those who really know me know that most of the shoes I own have one name: Sandal. A friend mentioned recently that it's bizarre seeing my feet covered up. Just doesn't seem right, she said. I was in total agreement.

Even though my feet have cabin fever this time of year, I'm OK with it, because the winter season has great potential to break up the monotony of everyday life. Snow and sleet. Ice storms. Slush. Wintry mix. Bring it on.

When it snows — even if it's just spitting, just a hint, even a light mist — my co-workers will tell you that I am the first person up gazing out the one office window we have here, my heart bursting with glee.

They start in on me just as winter weather advisories begin to scroll across the TV screen. "Guess what, Ellen?" they ask, grim-faced, with a somber timbre that denotes displeasure. "That's right, it's sleeting, and we'll never make it home tonight after deadline, but go ahead and smile, because it makes you happy."

Whether I'm at work or at home, I love to watch the big flakes falling softly, adhering to the cold ground. I live to wake up to a snowy landscape, too, when trees are iced over and roads are deep in slush.

For those first few hours, or even after couple of days of snowfall, city streets and country lanes, homes and businesses no longer have that same boring familiar quality. For awhile everything in the landscape is magical.

And besides, it's not as if you can keep the snow from falling — or keep roads completely clear or keep tree limbs from icing over and eventually knocking out the power. It's completely beyond our control, so why get all worked up about it?

I really don't mind driving in it at all — and I've had some scrapes, too. One time my little escape pod of a car slid into a ditch, and it just about ripped off my fender. That cost me $500, but that incident did not dim my spirits. It was snowing!

A few years back I drove to Cleveland, Ohio, just to revel in a good, steady snow fall. I left Jackson at the crack of dawn and drove in flurries for about 11 hours. Piece of cake.

(Yeah, I know that right about now all of you who were transplanted from traditionally snowy climes to Tennessee's mild winters are scoffing at my joy. I know that winter weather gets old real quick in places like New England. But in the South, the occasional meager snowfall is a tiny bonus for which I give thanks.)

Anyway, about halfway to Cleveland I called 1-800-BUCKEYE to find a bed and breakfast on Lake Erie. I knew there'd be somewhere I could lodge. I was not disappointed. It was perfect, just what I wanted.

That evening I sat looking out the big bay window of a warm, gorgeous home, watching the snow fall over Lake Erie, sipping hot coffee with an Agatha Christie mystery in my lap. Bundled-up locals were walking their dogs along the snow-covered beach. The city lights glistened in the distance.

I sat looking out that window every day for a few hours, and for that week, all was right with the world. It wouldn't have had that same charm without the seasonal differences provided by winter.

Seasons provide something new to look forward to: Change. Change means new opportunities, new challenges, new experiences, new horizons. Change brings life if you'll just let it.

I think this rosy outlook toward change is the undercurrent of why I don't really enjoy going to the same place twice. I don't have any desire to read the same book twice and rarely see a movie more than once (not real big on movies in general anyway, although I do go occasionally).

Anything new in my routine is a bonus, see, so this is why I *love* snow. Who cares if it makes a mess? It's temporary. Who cares if you have to drive more slowly or alter your plans for a few days? That's just part of it.

What season are you in spiritually? Is it one of those messy stages of winter? Every day is as dreary as the dirty, frozen slush that builds up in the wheel wells on a car. Boy have I've been there. Everything seems like a chore. Nothing's going right.

Life is just a pain in those times, and it can be very hard to see beyond that ugly wintry mix of emotions. But — there's hope. There always is. Because with every new day comes the promise of change. A change for the better.

What in your life today feels completely beyond your control? I've been there, too, and it's a hard road to walk. Worry and stress are constant companions. It's hard to see beyond the problem to the solution. But — change is inevitable. And there's a good chance it'll be a good change. The solution could be right around the corner.

Is this season rife with a conflict with your spouse? An impossible situation at work? A failed relationship? Too many commitments? Other sources of strife in your home?

Just like the messy roads and inconveniences that follow a snowfall, all of these stressors are temporary. Life really can change for the better if you'll give your problems to God and just let Him figure it all out.

I say this from experience. It might be disappointment, rejection, grief or any one of the things mentioned above that have constantly been on your mind, stealing your joy.

But you'd feel a whole lot better allowing Him to carry the heavy loads that bring about these feelings. None of us is strong enough in our own strength to lug these things around.

Over the years, one scripture more than any other (1 Peter 5:7) has brought me great comfort in times of distress: "Cast your cares on Him (Jesus), because He cares for you."

If you'll just do this one thing, "casting all of your cares" — and you may have to do it often for awhile — you will be surprised at how much easier it will be to enjoy every season of life.

It ain't worth running — you'll still eventually get caught

2009-12-15T19:49:00.000-08:00

‘Lately I've been in an encouraging mood, or rather, in a mood to encourage (not that I'm ever in a mood to discourage, but hey).

I think I've always been this way, striving to put a spring into someone else's step in some fashion. I tend to be pretty outgoing. But when I became Christian, that desire to encourage others really kicked into high gear. And it has never waned. In fact, that desire to build up, encourage and exhort others only intensifies as the years go by.

See, the more I get to know God, the more purpose I discover. The more purpose I discover, the more I long for others to discover theirs.

The more I recognize what God has done in my life, the more I appreciate it. The more I appreciate it, the more I want others to experience it, too. That creates a desire to encourage, to spur on.

I think that desire to encourage also has something to do with how discouraged I'd been for so many years, with no direction, no specific purpose, no real hope that my life would ever amount to anything worthwhile. Even the past couple of years have brought discouragement and difficulty, but even so,
I've found myself being able to "comfort others with the comfort I've been comforted with" (2 Cor. 1).

Those who know me now can't imagine how hopeless and broken I really was before I came to know this love — the love of God that is so all-encompassing, so compassionate and kind, so gentle and tender, so reassuring and comforting. *This love is unadulterated.* It's a love worth searching for. It's a love worth telling others about. Its worth is matchless.

And I want others to experience this love the way I have. And so I desire to encourage, to see others recognize this God-kind of love and to run after it.

The tremendous rest and peace I've found in God can never be taken away from me, no matter how rattled I might get at one time or another in the interim. That's because this kind of assurance is rooted in the knowledge that God's devotion to me will not be removed or just go away, that it can never lessen, never cheapen.

That kind of assurance has me wanting others to be just so assured, to experience this kind of faithfulness as well.

How do I know? I consider the promises found in scripture of God's unfailing love toward His own.

"Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands. Always in my mind is a picture of Jerusalem's walls in ruins" (Isa 49:15-16).

And this desire to encourage also has a lot to do with what God has called me to do. I've been told through many prophetic words over the years by several people I'd never met that I was made to be an "exhorter."

I didn't even know what the word meant the first couple times this was spoken into my life.

To "exhort" means many things — "to urge, advise or caution earnestly; to admonish urgently; to give urgent advice, recommendations or warnings." One of the root words has to do with "encouraging greatly."

I really never had a desire to do this kind of thing before. When I went searching to find out what an exhorter actually does, I kind of dreaded the outcome. In fact, when I finally did recognize it as a kind of hallmark in my life, I sort of resisted it.

I didn't want to ruffle any feathers. I didn't want to appear to be a know-it-all (I still don't, but what are you going to do? I've found I can't rest until I've said what I feel led to say).

Only when I began to see that role of exhortation playing out in my life through several different avenues, including writing, did I begin to realize that those prophetic words were right on the money.

It took me by surprise, but I can definitely see now that I am an exhorter, whether I like it or not (and sometimes I don't). I can't get away from it. But I guess that's a good thing.

We don't pick and choose what we want to do when it comes to serving God. He's the one who chooses who we are and what we are to do, and we do well to follow along and let the Holy Spirit do the directing.

One day a few years ago during prayer I told the Lord quite earnestly, "I want to be right in the center of Your will. I want to be right in the thick of what You're doing in the Earth today. I don't want to have a typical, ordinary life. I want to live an extraordinary Christian life."

I have the feeling I got what I asked for. No matter how uncomfortable it makes me sometimes, I wouldn't change it. I'd rather be challenged or be uncomfortable occasionally than to forfeit God's will for my life.’

You're so much more important than some bird

2009-11-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

When I'm home, the distinctive chirp-chirp of the family of Northern cardinals who frequent my little birdfeeder always alerts me to look up from whatever I'm doing so that I can observe them up close.

When I do, I'm rewarded with the opportunity to study the plumage and habits of several types of birds, including song sparrows, Carolina wrens, even red-breasted nuthatches.

The hummingbirds are long gone by now, but during late summer I occasionally get a glimpse of them zipping around one of my colorful hanging planters, thinking they might get a drink.

Occasionally I'll see mockingbirds chasing one another, but I usually only hear them doing that mimic thing they do — often while I'm trying to take a nap.

Now that most of the leaves have fallen off the big sugar maple right outside my window, I can see all kinds of activity going on in its crown when I'm lounging upstairs. Groups of blue jays hop from branch to branch in the early morning, and downy woodpeckers rat-a-tat on the trunk in early afternoon.

But it's those cardinals who stop by throughout the day (they especially love the peanuts), and I have a feeling I'll be filling that birdfeeder a lot more frequently as winter sets in.

I wouldn't think of letting that thing go empty. All those little visitors have come to trust that what they're looking for will be there in steady supply. Otherwise they wouldn't come back every day expecting more.

Watching those birds feast on what I've gladly provided for them reminds me of the goodness of God, that "He who watches over Israel will neither sleep nor slumber" (Psalm 121:4).

Several psalms make mention of The Lord's constant attention. Psalm 136:25 says He "gives food to all flesh, for His lovingkindness is everlasting."
And consider Psalm 145:15: “The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food in due time." The same promise is mentioned in Psalm 104:27.

God knows what we need, along with when we need it. He knows "my going out and my lying down," and He is "intimately acquainted with all my ways" (Ps. 139:3).

He proved this to me over and over last year and even all throughout this year, with more crucial needs met than I can count on both hands.

His word gives me no reason to think He's changed His mind, and whatever may come in any of our lives, we can trust in His provision.

Consider what Jesus said to the crowds who followed Him around.

Matthew 6:25-26 leads to a promise of consistent provision: "... Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Jesus goes on to say this: "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

This passage is convicting, especially these days, when it seems that virtually no one — from the factory worker to the housewife to the CEO — is shielded from constant financial uncertainty and the devastating prospect of job loss.

All these scriptures and so many more speak of God's desire, even delight, in providing for us continually — just as I delight in making sure the birds that frequent my patio always have enough.

We can take great comfort in this in uncertain times. Matthew 6:8 gives us all the assurance we need: " ... For your Father in heaven knows what you need before you ask Him."

If you're having an affair, you'd better take a hard look at what can happen

2009-11-06T19:53:00.000-08:00

‘The photo caption on the Web site says it all: ‘On the surface, Reid and Quinn Gray and their two daughters were the perfect family.’ I'm referring to a couple with two young daughters who, according to NBC News reports, ‘live in a $4 million home in the posh Florida enclave of Ponte Vedra Beach.’

Or at least they did live there until just recently, when Quinn Gray was said to have faked her own kidnapping with her lover for a $50,000 ransom.

NBC News ‘obtained 37 disks of recorded evidence, including a recording of Quinn Gray and her alleged accomplice, Jasmin Osmanovic, having sex and then discussing how they were going to get a $50,000 ransom from her husband and what they were going to tell police.’

‘(The couple) acknowledge having a rocky marriage, with both spouses being guilty of infidelity,’ the story continues, also mentioning that on recordings, Quinn Gray suggests to her lover that the pair either get the money ‘or just blow his head off,’ referring to Reid Gray.

I watched the revealing interview with Reid Gray this morning on the Today show. This evening I sat down at my desk to find a local story on the news budget that unfortunately has some similarities to this one: Alleged infidelity, along with the tragedy that is sure to follow this kind of behavior.

A young woman is arraigned in the slaying of her husband. His body is found by police, only after a man with whom she was said to be romantically involved commits suicide in a standoff with police. He leaves behind a note, investigators say, admitting that he had killed this woman's husband, and the note led police to the body. (It was all printed in this newspaper earlier this week, and the courts are left to determine guilt.)

It immediately brought to mind the shooting death of former Tennessee Titans quarterback Steve McNair, shot and killed earlier this year by his lover before she turned the gun on herself. McNair was still married when he was murdered.

Cheating on your spouse is so much worse than just a bad idea — *and I'm not making light of this at all.* So many evil things can and do follow. What you meditate on you'll eventually carry out, whether it's adultery or murder or any other sin.

The scripture that comes to mind is James 3:16, ‘For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there, too.’ Read it again, and think about it. Anybody can recognize the wisdom in this verse, whether you're Christian or not.

See, one way or another, ‘your sins *will* find you out’ (Numbers 32:23). More modern vernacular: ‘Eventually you won't need anybody to rat you out, because what you're doing behind closed doors will eventually backfire — and everybody you've snowed will end up knowing all the details.’

If you're in a relationship right now with someone other than your husband or wife, it would behoove you to make things right, and with a quickness. Let these three scenarios I've mentioned above be a sober warning to you.

If you continue this lifestyle, tragedy and heartache are sure to ensue — maybe even your own untimely death, all because you just had to have what was never yours to take (read coveting, which carries serious consequences all their own). *And it will come upon you so fast you won't know what happened.*

People do stupid things in the heat of passion, in murderous rage, in desperation — whether they're an adulterer, an adulterous accomplice or an inconsolable spouse who has just found you out. All of a sudden, the spirit of murder has an open door, and don't think for a minute that you're immune to it, whether you're in adultery right now or are the spouse of someone who is.

‘The wages of sin is death’ (Romans 6:23), every single time. It may mean spiritual death, the death of your marriage and relationships with your children or something much more literal. It's a Biblical principle that once you set something in motion, *‘you will reap what you sow.’* That principle cannot be trumped by any amount of human reasoning or conniving on your part.

There's a reason scripture tells us, ‘Don't be deceived. God will not be mocked’ (Gal. 6:7). You don't want to be on the receiving end of what will surely take place once you enter into that adulterous affair.’

‘So, where's your God now?’ he asked me

2009-11-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

Economic collapse. Job loss. Tragic events. Unfortunate and unforseen circumstances. Uncertainty. Sorrow. Misfortune.

All these we work very hard to avoid, whether we're young or old. We get educated. We wear our seat belts. We lock our doors. We go to church. We try to live good lives, be responsible, care about others.

But all those things can't be trusted in to insulate us from what life brings, that bad things happen to all of us that go unexplained, that difficult situations do appear out of nowhere and plunge us into grief or put us between a rock and a hard place. That's hard to reconcile.

Sometimes it's tempting to think that God doesn't care, that He is not near. Then we won't have to deal with the idea that God has allowed something to happen in our lives that hurts or sets us back, along with the disappointment that follows.

I know a lot of people who aren't in church, many of whom I'm fairly close to and care very much about. I have friends, too, who are in church occasionally or even regularly but don't have a deep relationship with the Lord and see the Bible less as fact and more as metaphor.

And still some of my friends don't believe there is a God — or that if He is real then God is cruel, egotistical and dictatorial.

They're all kind to me, but they admit they have a hard time understanding how I can put so much trust in this God, in what scripture says, in what my eyes can't see.

I don't fault them for that. They see life from the perspective of one who has not encountered the lovingkindness and faithfulness of God, something I've experienced over and over. To me, "all things are possible to him who believes," and "nothing will be impossible with God."

We discuss what I believe on a regular basis, and they're always the ones to bring it up. That surprises me every time, but I guess they know I'm not interested in pushing my faith on them, so they open up about how they really feel.

Some question, some challenge and debate, some bring religious topics to my attention, all listen to my responses and I guess some walk away pondering.

Some people I've spent considerable time talking with bring up difficult circumstances in life as a way to try to prove to me that if God really exists and really has my best interests at heart, He would do more to make sure that I sail through every day with no problems, no challenges, no struggles.
When I ended up in the hospital for a few days a couple of weeks ago (I'm fine now), I had to spend a week at home recovering. One of my neighbors was concerned, so he labored over his signature vichyssoise recipe and came knocking.

"How's that God thing working out for you now that you're stuck here at home and can't eat anything?" he teased as he came inside and kicked his shoes off. “Took real good care of you, didn't He?"

In other words, where's your God now? And what kind of God would allow this?

He's atheist. That's his typical response to everything that goes on in my life. He's good natured about it when he brings up my relationship with God (which is practically every time I see him), but he's being serious.

That's really how he feels — that a loving God would shield us from every circumstance that's not to our liking. Not so. I don't have the space to expound on that concept today, although I may in the future.

But for us who believe, whose lives are not in the least perfect, we must remember to cling to what we know, recorded in Lamentations 3:21. ‘This I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’

Next post: I may go a little deeper into the idea people have about God that He saves us from every bad circumstance.

To 'fear' God isn't to cower in a corner

2009-11-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

A message preached in church recently about wisdom really had an impact on me, because while I understood through scripture that "the fear (or reverence or honor of) the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" (Prov. 1:17), I didn't realize that how well we apply the wisdom we have access to has a lot to do with how we regularly approach God, how close we stay to Him and how much we really do keep to His way of thinking and His way of handling things.

We learn this through what we read in Scripture, so it behooves us to pay attention to what He has said and done throughout the Old and New Testament.

But first, just to clarify what it means to "fear the Lord:" My understanding is that God isn't interested in us cowering in fear when we think about or approach Him, concerned that He is going to zap us with some illness or misfortune if we don't do right.

For those of us who know Jesus, we're told we can "come boldly to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and help in time of need" (Heb. 4:16). That doesn't sound like something I'd want to do at all if God is fearsome.

But God loves us. He wants us happy, healthy, hopeful and whole. Of course, that doesn't mean we don't need to have a healthy fear of the consequences that result from ignoring God and what His word says.

Here's how things go sour: When we don't "fear" God, we'll end up making bad choices that always result in consequences that we won't like. That's hard to bear. I've known this from experience. But I know that I still have God's love and care through it all.

Either way, we do need to walk uprightly before God and have a healthy reverence for who He is (which is to "fear" God), seriously, because He loves us, and to do otherwise is disrespectful and ungrateful. God has been tremendously merciful with me, over and over again, as He is with all of us who follow Jesus, and so if I just choose to blow off His commands after all that lovingkindness, I can't expect things to be peachy keen in my life all the time.

But back to the point: I want to share some scripture about the link between fearing God (according to what I've just explained here) and the wisdom you'll receive as a result of it.

There's a lot here, but I guarantee if you meditate on these scriptures, you'll get a better understanding of God's character, along with the ability to gain wisdom and then to apply it where it's needed in your life.

There's not a soul out there who doesn't need wisdom, from money matters to family matters to problem solving or problems on the job. Wisdom is actually just understanding a matter from the beginning to the end. It's essential to life. And wisdom doesn't just fall into your lap just because you go to church or try to live right. Wisdom is cultivated through relationship with God, which is cultivated through getting to know Him -- by finding out what God has said and done.

That kind of information can only be found in the Bible. Look up these scriptures and you'll see what I'm talking about: Prov. 22:4, Prov. 19:23, Ps. 34:7, Ps. 33:18, Exodus 18:21, Ps. 128:1, Ps. 103:11, Ps. 25:14, Isa. 33:6, Ps. 111:10, Job 28:28, Jer. 32:40, Isa. 11:2, Isa. 34:11, Ps. 86:11, Prov. 1:7, Prov. 2:1, Prov. 16:16, Prov. 8:13.

Next post: I'm still not feeling so great, so it may be another week before I post again.

God can help you to have an 'undivided heart' -- he helped me

2009-10-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

I'm still feeling a bit under the weather so today I decided to post something I've just read. The following is an excerpt from a message by Derek Prince, who died a few years ago. He was a phenomenal minister, speaker and author, and his ministry goes on without him, encouraging and teaching many.

If you'd like to learn more about Derek Prince's teachings by listening to podcasts, click here.

You also can learn more about this ministry, listen to radio shows and sign up for a daily devotional thought when you click here.

Below is today's devotional thought. When I feel better I may expound on it myself with examples from my own life:

An Undivided Heart
Psalm 86:11-12
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart. NIV
The psalmist there focuses on one thing that is necessary if we are to walk God’s way successfully.
First of all, he cries out, “Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth.” We cannot walk in God’s way unless God in His mercy teaches us that way. And then he says, “Give me an undivided heart.” And a little later he says, “I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart.”
Notice the emphasis on the heart: “an undivided heart,” “with all my heart.” That’s so important that we don’t have a divided heart, that our heart is totally yielded to God, that it’s focused on God. We have no second loyalties; we have no options. All our springs are in God; all our expectations are from God.
I’ve discovered in the Christian life, the further you go in God the fewer the options. The way becomes narrower and narrower and ultimately those who come to the end of the course are those who find their total satisfaction in God. It’s not God plus something; it’s God alone. That’s an undivided heart - when we don’t look anywhere but in God for our life, our satisfaction, our peace. - Derek Prince

Out of the office and right into the hospital

2009-10-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'm in no condition to write today, so I'll just ask for prayer: I was admitted to the hospital Saturday night because of an infection, had IV antibiotics for three days to knock it out and am now on bed rest for a week. So you can expect a new blog entry next week when I get back to business at work. Meantime, I'll be reading and sleeping and following those doctor's orders.

I tremendously appreciate the readers of Faith Matters and The Jackson Sun and your faithful prayers for me in the past. I'll see you next week.
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Life is fragile, and that should give us pause

2009-10-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

In my job in the newsroom, I normally edit and design the fluffy stuff that entertains and informs, such as how to create a pretty fall planter that can withstand cooler weather or how to create a Spongebob Squarepants Halloween costume out of a big cardboard box.

Not today. I'm on a three-month shift rotation right now that requires me to work some weekend nights every week, designing news pages. That's OK with me. Sometimes I miss working on the news desk. I spent at least seven years working on business, local news and wire content every day and almost a year exclusively designing the front page.

So I'm no stranger to it, but I'm just not used to having a reporter walk in here on a Saturday evening and say, "Make room for another homicide."

What he means is that we need to alter the budget of stories planned for the pages we're designing for the next day's newspaper, because evidently somebody got shot and killed today in Jackson.

All he knows so far is that "police are investigating a homicide," according to a news release. Before 10 p.m. he'll have chronicled all the details he can get and hopefully have a headshot of a suspect in custody.

It all just got me to thinking about how fragile life is, how it's over in a moment, a breath.

You know that person didn't wake this morning and think, "It's my last day on Earth." He may have gotten up planning to do something constructive today, something meaningful. Maybe he got up thinking, "Finally, the weekend, and I can hang around with my friends."

We just don't know what life holds for us from one moment to the next. And that should give us pause.

It certainly does me. It makes me conscious of the fact that I need to make sure that others know that I love them. We don't know when we'll die, only that there's "a day appointed once for man to die" and that God knows when that day is.

So we need to make sure that all our relationships are set right, that we've forgiven and been forgiven, that our motives are pure, being diligent to do every day what it takes to fulfill the plans God has apportioned for each of us in this life.

Even more, each of us needs to be sure that our relationship with God is where it needs to be, that we're really acting as vessels of honor and not living a nominal Christian life where God is just an afterthought.

I know I certainly don't treat each day as if it's a gift, and I need to readjust, because we're promised this one thing: One day, tomorrow won't come.

Three, no, now seven, police cars — sirens blaring and lights blazing — just flew by the only window in this office (by which I gratefully happen to sit) and on down Airways Boulevard. I guess they're off to deal with some serious situation. I don't envy them.

But I will take a moment to thank God that I'm safe from harm and to contemplate how blessed I am to still be breathing.

Next post: Too busy to say at this time. It could be anything.

These reader comments are just too good to keep under wraps

2009-10-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

Today I'm focusing on some comments left here from readers on a recent post (along with my responses), because I don't want them to get lost in the shuffle. This is long, but it's worth taking some time to read through for the nuggets of truth written to me from a faithful reader. The comments I've pasted below also take a turn, and the reader reveals in detail her personal struggle of carrying the burdens of others to the extreme, which ended up producing a harvest of exhaustion. In the end it's a redemptive story, and she shares insight here that should be read by all.

I wrote a couple of days ago about the importance of making time for rest and quietness on a consistent basis. The following responses offer excellent insight into why it is imperative to obey the command by God to "remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy (i.e. set aside, different)" Exodus 20:8.

This passage goes on to say that the Lord rested after all that creating He did. "Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy."

And we should follow that example. There are tons of mentions of the Sabbath in the Old and New Testament, including when Jesus was challenging some Pharisees on their judgmental attitudes regarding the Sabbath, in Mark 2:27: "The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath."

Meanwhile, here's the discussion that ensued from the recent post, "Come, follow Me, and I will give you rest."

herbhalstead wrote: I think we all need to explore the subject of "Sabbath" more...

susanlprince wrote: Recently I went camping and hiked 13 miles of trails. I hadn't hiked before, but I was hiking with somebody skilled in that area. It was a good thing and I learned a lot!

Being a prideful person determined to make the climb up a mountain to a destination with a great "payoff", I kept pushing and pushing myself. Sure, I'd stop for tiny "breaks" now and then, and then I'd manage to muster up enough energy for a few more steps. The "energy" I would muster up wouldn't carry me but a few more steps. My tiny "breaks" were pointless, they did very little to help me on the journey to my destination.

At some point, I became very physically drained. Eventually, that physical drain wore on me and started to affect me mentally. Thankfully, the person I was with was observing these signs that were telling her that I was in need of a substantial break. My friend suggested that I sit and rest. I refused to sit and then she *demanded* that I sit down, rest, drink water and eat something for nurishment.

After that rest, food and drink, I was able to stand, remain focused on the goal and continue the hike up that mountain. You bet I celebrated when I made it to the top! (Wasn't really the top, but it was to the point I had set the goal!) I doubt I would have made that entire trek without that rest.

God didn't suggest a Sabbath, He commanded it.

When we busy our lives and never rest, even busy ourselves in ministry, we will eventually become physically, mentally and emotionally drained and we will become ineffective in serving Him and the Kingdom. We won't reach the goal! I think this is why God commands rest.

That, and because He loves us and wants us to love on Him on that special day!

FaithMatters wrote:
From Kimbro: You know, I think one of the biggest ways that we can and do dishonor God and His commands (created for our good) is by ignoring the command for a Sabbath rest. And I will be the first one to say that I have been shirking that command for many years, without realizing how seriously it was affecting my physical health and well-being and my spiritual well-being.

It was only when I got injured and was *forced* to do nothing for months on end that I began to recognize just how insane my lifestyle really was.
In order to do anything for myself I had to take time away from something else that I had committed to do. I rarely cooked for myself except on weekends, and when I did so it was taking time away from work that I needed to accomplish.

On my days off I was working in one capacity or another, and I mean hard work! And I was spending so much time tending to the needs of others (a worthy pursuit but a codependent one at the same time -- I was the enabler) that I felt I could never turn my phone off and that I must be available to all people who wanted to talk, share and spend time with me or who needed for me to do something for them or with them -- *or else I wasn't really willing to die to self.*

I lived this way consistently for five years, and I literally got to the point that I was mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted. It was a life that had no boundaries, and once I got out from under it, again, because I had no choice, I began to recognize just how far it had set me back in my relationship with God and with others.

For more than a year I was unable to chop or even cut with a knife. I did not cook because of the pain it caused me. I only made coffee, and I had to force myself to lift the little pot of water to pour into my French press and to hold the coffee cup with my right arm (I still have to force myself to do that because it hurts) and to make my bed with my right arm and to drive with it and even to wash my hair with my right arm so that I would use the thing.

So you can imagine what my life was like: When I was not responsible for something such as work or worship at church, I was on the couch hopped up on oxycodone -- for a year (I gave up the drugs in January of this year and paid dearly for it).

The point is that I had *no choice* but to rest. And it felt *very* uncomfortable, like I was being lazy. I hated it. (I had been told I was lazy even when I was spending a ton of time working and spending time with people when I really needed to be spending time alone, so I had a complex about it).
And now, almost two years later, I am finally beginning to breathe easy about taking time off each week to rest on days that I am not in the office. It has taken that long for me to get comfortable with not being somewhere doing something that needs to be done.

I literally couldn't rest on my days off for thinking that I was being lazy if I wasn't being productive in some way, even in spending time with others because they'd asked me to do so -- when I really just didn't feel like it I would do it anyway.
I think we have a lot to learn about what's healthy and good and acceptable. I know I do.

Meanwhile, susanlprince, I'm really kind of blown away by how this story relates to rest. I would never have put two and two together, but it's a great analogy!

susanlprince wrote: I've had my own lessons in "dying to self" and "carrying the burdens of others" these past couple of years. I'm learning that boundaries are Biblical!

I had this idea that since the Bible teaches to die to self that I should *always* put others before myself and in the process I did not yield to spiritual authority that was advising me that I may be over involved with my self-proclaimed *mission*.

Here is where the problem was with me; I basically took over and controlled everything in the life of those I was *helping* when it came to day to day stuff, finances and "fixing things" to the point where it became such a bondage. I got tired of "having to do everything", but that's just it, I didn't have to do everything! I wanted to do everything and wouldn't let others do anything. Like a control freak! I began to carry burdens that were not mine. I carried them until they weighed me down to the point I was crushed and became useless.

Jesus teaches us to take up our own cross, but I was taking up others' crosses as if they were mine.

I didn't conscientiously make the decision to do this, but it is what gradually started to happen to the point where I was getting so frustrated and worn out, even became resentful. Please understand that I am not placing any blame on any other party, this is totally on me and my issue with needing to help other people to the point it becomes destructive to me, and to them. My spiritual authority identified the tendency for this to happen early on, tried to warn me, but I didn't listen and justified it by saying "I'm dying to self!", but really I ended up dying myself.

Recently I've also learned that there is a difference between a burden and a load. Galatians 6:2 teaches to "carry each other’s burdens" and a burden is something that comes along in the life of a person that is too overwhelming to handle alone. We are to be a support system for a person dealing with a tragedy in life or something out of the ordinary that requires additional help from others. In verse 5 we are taught that each should carry his own *load*, or be responsible for the everyday things in life; going to work, raising children, fellowship, etc. My problem is a tendency to help others' carry their loads, which is not ever what we are intended to do. Burdens yes, loads no.

Another aspect is that I want to make others' happy. I will constantly do things so other people benefit, even if it is to my detriment. People don't even have to ask me for help, I just offer it and do it. This can become a problem because I will allow myself to be put in situations that I always feel a “need" to yield to another person's wants or needs. After awhile this starts to get to me because I start thinking "Hey! What about me?" and then I struggle because I should not have thoughts like that when I should be dying to self. This is so difficult for me to explain, but the main point is, I have an unhealthy need to make others happy and justify it by saying "I'm dying to self". The problem is then amplified because I am "dying to self" outside of the will of God. Anything I do outside of God's will is *my* will, and there is no dying to self in that at all. This would include not being obedient to spiritual authority.

My pastor lovingly pointed out to me when I finally was willing to submit to spiritual authority, "wouldn't have yielding to leadership have been dying to self? It was easier to do what you wanted to do than to do what we were trying to help you see needed done." BAM! That was a true moment of enlightenment to me about dying to self. He was right. All along I was doing what I wanted to do and the end result was very destructive.

I also repented to him and told him I realize that I had not submitted to his spiritual authority over my life. I didn't get an "I told you so", what I got instead was a life affirming "I love this!"

So, I'm currently learning how to rest from carrying the loads of others and just carrying mine. I fully intend on following the teaching to "carry each other's burdens", but never to the extent that over-reaches what God intends for me to help with.

I've learned a lot! It's the practice of what I've learned that I'm trying to implement now!

Next post: Unsure. Unfortunately I'm too tired right now to think about it.

Just do me a favor and listen to this

2009-10-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

Before you read the first lines of today's post and find the other links below, please listen to this song. As you listen: I'd like to point out a few lines that stand out to me as I write today's post, "You are the life to my heart and my soul/You are the light to the darkness around me/You are the hope to the hopeless, the broken/You are the only Truth and the Way"

Moving right along: I listened to the third message in a series from the pastor of Thrive Church in Jackson this morning. I had listened to the first two messages (preached week to week in their church services) back-to-back on my days off earlier this week, because I just wanted to hear more when the first message was over.

That's saying a lot, because I don't often sit around listening to messages preached at churches other than my own, really never.

Anyway, you may remember I mentioned this series — called "Christian Fail" — in a post here a couple of days ago. I've included links at the bottom of this post.

I believe that this message series — and especially the one from Sunday — has the potential to bring about great change in the way many in the Body of Christ feel about and approach people who don't believe in God or who just have no desire to follow Jesus.

Something this pastor, Herb Halstead, said in one of the messages (can't remember which one at the moment) really stuck with me: Surveys show that most people who want nothing to do with following Jesus as part of a faith community really have no trouble with Jesus — it's His modern-day followers they have a problem with.

That's no surprise to me. I've spent considerable time over the past couple of years talking here about my disdain for angry Christians who have no room in their hearts for those in this world who don't share their faith.

I've found that their un-Christian behavior (which they consequently don't even recognize) has made me so angry at times that I have had to fall on my face before the Lord because of the unforgiveness that I began to hold toward these Christians. I am not beyond failing in this area.

But when a majority of unbelievers says they have no problem with Jesus but yet have trouble committing their lives to His care, that's something we need to pay attention to. It's just not something that can be brushed off. There really is something to it, some cause.

Could it be that our state of being and our speech -- in the name of championing all things godly -- have so pushed people away that they no longer have any desire to even consider that the God of the Bible is someone worth knowing?

These are loved by Jesus, and He desires to heal, to comfort and to restore them unto Him, to help them to recognize that He really is that Good Shepherd that cares for His sheep, that He is trustworthy and that His words are true, that He really is who the Bible purports Him to be, a savior -- and even that we all have the need for a savior, a sin nature from which we desperately need to be rescued.

Either way, this newest message, on forgiveness, was preached just this Sunday and is thoughtful, challenging and moving. I earnestly encourage you to take a few minutes to listen to it, especially if you're not Christian (link below). I knew that this sermon would be about forgiveness, but it was nothing like what I expected to hear.

Here's the link to the podcasts on the Thrive Church Web site, called 'Christian Fail'

And here's a link to the "about" page for the message series going on right now

Next post: I think I'm going to revisit the idea -- actually the command -- of rest and quietness practiced in setting aside a Sabbath day.

How we as Christians have failed the church

2009-10-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

Moving right along: I listened to the third message in a series from the pastor of Thrive Church in Jackson this morning. I had listened to the first two messages (preached week to week in their church services) back-to-back on my days off earlier this week, because I just wanted to hear more when the first message was over.

That's saying a lot, because I don't often sit around listening to messages preached at churches other than my own, really never.

Anyway, you may remember I mentioned this series — called "Christian Fail" — in a post here a couple of days ago. I've included links at the bottom of this post.

I believe that this message series — and especially the one from Sunday — has the potential to bring about great change in the way many in the Body of Christ feel about and approach people who don't believe in God or who just have no desire to follow Jesus.

Something this pastor, Herb Halstead, said in one of the messages (can't remember which one at the moment) really stuck with me: Surveys show that most people who want nothing to do with following Jesus as part of a faith community really have no trouble with Jesus — it's His modern-day followers they have a problem with.

That's no surprise to me. I've spent considerable time over the past couple of years talking here about my disdain for angry Christians who have no room in their hearts for those in this world who don't share their faith.

I've found that their un-Christian behavior (which they consequently don't even recognize) has made me so angry at times that I have had to fall on my face before the Lord because of the unforgiveness that I began to hold toward these Christians. I am not beyond failing in this area.

But when a majority of unbelievers says they have no problem with Jesus but yet have trouble committing their lives to His care, that's something we need to pay attention to. It's just not something that can be brushed off. There really is something to it, some cause.

Could it be that our state of being and our speech -- in the name of championing all things godly -- have so pushed people away that they no longer have any desire to even consider that the God of the Bible is someone worth knowing?

These are loved by Jesus, and He desires to heal, to comfort and to restore them unto Him, to help them to recognize that He really is that Good Shepherd that cares for His sheep, that He is trustworthy and that His words are true, that He really is who the Bible purports Him to be, a savior -- and even that we all have the need for a savior, a sin nature from which we desperately need to be rescued.

Either way, this newest message, on forgiveness, was preached just this Sunday and is thoughtful, challenging and moving. I earnestly encourage you to take a few minutes to listen to it, especially if you're not Christian (link below). I knew that this sermon would be about forgiveness, but it was nothing like what I expected to hear.

Here's the link to the podcasts on the Thrive Church Web site, called 'Christian Fail'

Next post: I think I'm going to revisit the idea -- actually the command -- of rest and quietness practiced in setting aside a Sabbath day.

When Christians fail to be what Jesus intended

2009-10-03T20:07:00.001-07:00

I've had the opportunity to talk with the pastor of Thrive Church in Jackson through writing Faith Matters, and again when members of that church participated in the recording and production of a worship CD last year that I was involved with.

I've also kept up with Pastor Herb Halstead's blog for the Nazarene Church called "In His Grip." http://nazareneblogs.org/pastorherb

Recently I listened to a couple of messages on Thrive's Web site that echo some of the things I've written about here: My heart's cry for the church of Jesus Christ worldwide to shake off the inclusionary tendencies it's now unfortunately known for so that we can win people to Christ who have been turned off by the hardhearted, hardheaded attitudes of Christians: Pride and arrogance in our speech toward non-Christians and even one another; an "us four and no more" mentality that shuns people who don't look like us, talk like us and think like us; a laziness that would rather try to force our views on others than actually get out there and talk with people who oppose our views, loving them where they are while at the same time speaking the truth in love and demonstrating a love and devotion to God that is unmatched.

Listening to these messages is like taking in a breath of fresh air. I hope you'll choose to do that today.

First, here's a link to the "about" page for the message series going on right now at Thrive Church in Jackson.

Come, follow Me, and I will give you rest

2009-10-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

You may remember I posted some photos here recently from my trip last month to Great Smoky Mountains National Park. I love the solitude and have made that drive several times to camp and hike alone for that reason.

In fact, much of the camping and hiking I've done over the past few years has been by myself, so that I could step back from everyday life and be alone with the Lord.

Very few people I know do this kind of thing, taking the opportunity to get completely alone, even for one day. I understand that for some people it's impossible or very difficult to do at best because of the lives they lead.

Because I'm not married I can take off a little more easily, and I've learned to appreciate that, but I still have commitments that keep me close to home most of the time.

Either way, getting alone even for a couple of hours is really more important than we think. We treat it as a luxury rather than a necessity. That's not a good thing.

Not only does the body need rest, the mind does, too. Add to that the spirit and the soul and you've got the complete person -- which we neglect to our detriment.

See, the Lord hasn't asked us to abuse our bodies for His glory. He's not interested in us being sick and worn out. He wants us to be able to burn brightly for the long haul. I've had to learn this the hard way. I've had to be completely spent and unable to do anything to recognize that I had no boundaries, in friendship or otherwise.

I would pick up and do anything at any time for any reason if it needed to be done. I wouldn't even pray about it. I wanted to be faithful to others. The intention wasn't bad, but my lifestyle was.

I have this ridiculous tendency to run myself ragged and then wonder why I feel discontented.

When I'm worn out I'm not worth 2 cents. But when I've rested and spent time alone I'm raring to go. I'm ready to be around people again. I delight in it, really, and can't wait to catch up with others about what's going on in their lives.

On the contrary, if I've had what I call "fellowship overload," I couldn't care less whether I see another living soul. I'm drained. I'm unable to be interested in the needs of others. That's not what God wants, either.

You may recall that Jesus often got away alone to pray. He went to places not frequented by people so that He could be completely alone with the Father. It's where He no doubt gained insight, peace, strength and even the resolve to go to the cross -- an unbearable place He wouldn't have been able to bear without that time alone with the Father.

Don't we need all those things, insight, peace, strength and resolve? We do, and truth be known, we can't do without any of them if we want to have any kind of success in this life in any area.

Going somewhere quiet or peaceful or scenic or all three does something for the soul that can't be achieved otherwise.

Next post: Creating and then enforcing boundaries will do wonders in terms of how well you rest and, really, whether you ever get any rest at all.

Preaching to the choir never did anybody any good

2009-10-02T09:16:00.000-07:00

A story I'm including in Saturday's Religion section gives us an idea of just how hyper-religious and steeped in legalism some of the Body of Christ in America has become. And it's a problem that is keeping our churches dull of hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit and devoid of the kind of real power that reaches people for Christ and changes their lives in the process.

The story is about a high-profile Presbyterian church in Florida whose disgruntled congregants wanted to toss their young new pastor out the door — over his mode of dress and unwillingness to keep to the conduct of the old guard.

You can read the Associated Press story for yourself at the end of this post, but I'll draw out some excerpts here that explain what all the hubbub is about:

“The feud at Coral Ridge appears mostly to be a matter of style, not substance.
Under the leadership of Kennedy (that's the Rev. D. James Kennedy), who died in 2007, the church was a forerunner to modern evangelical megachurches, a fiercely conservative voice on social issues including homosexuality and abortion, and a powerful political voice.
Tchividjian, 37, (that's the grandson of the Rev. Billy Graham) took over earlier this year. While he has shown no sign of theological differences with Kennedy, he has rejected politics as the most important force for change, and his sermons have not focused on divisive issues. Meantime, he cuts a far different image, forgoing the type of choir robe Kennedy wore during services, and sporting spiky hair, tan skin, and sometimes scruffy beard.
The difference in approach prompted dissenters to circulate a petition urging Tchividjian’s removal. Their letter called him ‘‘a disaster’’ who has shown ‘‘a complete lack of respect’’ and made ‘‘grievous missteps.’’

First, it sounds to me like the new pastor and his approach to preaching and teaching is not the real disaster. The disaster is the heart attitude of the congregants who created the division in the first place.

The most important force for change shown forth by the Body of Christ should not be some kind of political power we try to wield but in Jesus' followers telling others about Him, sharing how God changed us through and through when we surrendered our lives to His leadership and accepted His unconditional love for us. That's what brings about real change in this world -- when the heart of man is touched and moved because he recognizes that he needs God and then ends up doing an about-face, walking away from how he lived before.

Sitting around in lawn chairs protesting some public policy or lifestyle with a poorly written slogan on neon posterboard does not produce change. Trying to force your will on someone by shouting what the Bible says at them likewise does not produce change.

On the contrary, the Body of Christ living Biblically, loving others, being there for them, being an example and telling other people face-to-face about our God and His ways — *that* is what produces the kind of change in people's behavior that the church is looking for.

But much of the church is just too lazy to go that route.

What's more, sadly, the church is really just more interested in people simply changing their ungodly behavior than in seeing their hearts touched by the love and power of God — and we're talking about a heart that Jesus spilled his blood for, a heart that God longs for. Remember, "He desires that none should perish but that all would have everlasting life."

But we'd rather just grouse in public about people who don't live like we do rather than do what Jesus didn't suggest but commanded: "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

No, in this day, we're more interested in whether a pastor looks religious and whether he preaches to the choir week after week about public policy issues that make us feel oh so good about how well we're keeping to all the statutes and precepts.

It's all garbage that stinks to high heaven. God is more interested in people coming to know Him through an authentic, heartfelt relationship with Jesus Christ than in how a pastor chooses to dress or what he has chosen to preach about. Obviously it needs to be biblically based and biblically sound, but that's not the issue with this particular congregation.

Either way, much of the church has officially become what a pastor friend loosely refers to as the Pharisaical church — a stubborn bunch that layers heavy burdens of do's and don'ts on the backs of believers and focuses less and less on the person and more and more on whether everyone is falling in line with its legalistic mindset.

We need another Great Awakening where God the Father — and not the church and its modus operandi — has center stage.

Next post: I may end up running with this. Unsure.

You can read the AP story in its entirety below:

MIAMI — Hundreds of congregants have left a pioneering megachurch in Florida to form their own congregation because they were unhappy with leadership at the church that’s seen as a bedrock of the religious right.
The action by the unhappy members at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church was the culmination of a feud between loyalists to an evangelical luminary, the Rev. D. James Kennedy, and his replacement as pastor, the Rev. Tullian Tchividjian, a grandson of the Rev. Billy Graham.
The new congregation met for its first service last Sunday, and organizers said more than 450 people attended. The people who formed the new congregation had lost a Sept. 20 vote to fire Tchividjian. Organizers of the still unnamed church said nearly all of their attendees had been among Coral Ridge’s roughly 2,000 members.
Coral Ridge said it’s not worried about maintaining its membership after the departures. About 200 people enrolled in a class for new members after Tchivijian took over in March.
Still, the move is a dramatic split. Kennedy’s daughter, Jennifer Kennedy Cassidy, joined many longtime Coral Ridge members, including church elders, the organist, choir director and hundreds of choir members, in deserting the congregation they helped build.
Former Coral Ridge elder Jim Filosa joined the new church. He and his wife were disciplined by Coral Ridge for taking part in a campaign to remove Tchividjian.
‘‘A year from today, if you call me, you’re going to say to me, ’It was an interesting place at one time, but it’s now up for sale,’’’ he said of his former church.
Bill Aschraft, a Coral Ridge elder who is acting as a spokesman for Tchividjian, said the church was praying for those who left and that their the breakaway represents ‘‘a win-win situation.’’
‘‘Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church is going to grow,’’ Ashcraft said. ‘‘And the other church ... is going to grow also. And God will be glorified at both.’’
Still, Aschraft said there had been hope the dissenters would return.
The feud at Coral Ridge appears mostly to be a matter of style, not substance.
Under the leadership of Kennedy, who died in 2007, the church was a forerunner to modern evangelical megachurches, a fiercely conservative voice on social issues including homosexuality and abortion, and a powerful political voice.
Tchividjian, 37, took over earlier this year. While he has shown no sign of theological differences with Kennedy, he has rejected politics as the most important force for change, and his sermons have not focused on divisive issues. Meantime, he cuts a far different image, forgoing the type of choir robe Kennedy wore during services, and sporting spiky hair, tan skin, and sometimes scruffy beard.
The difference in approach prompted dissenters to circulate a petition urging Tchividjian’s removal. Their letter called him ‘‘a disaster’’ who has shown ‘‘a complete lack of respect’’ and made ‘‘grievous missteps.’’
Tchividjian, the middle of seven children born to Stephan Tchividjian and Graham’s eldest daughter, Gigi, has a long history with Coral Ridge. He attended Coral Ridge and its adjacent school as a young man, though he eventually dropped out.

There really is hope for the miserable soul

2009-10-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

My heart sank when I got back from vacation the other day and opened up my newspaper to find that the lead story on the front page was about a man who fatally shot himself at the Benton County Courthouse. He had indicated he could no longer handle the financial strain he was under, according to the story.

He had been counseled by several officers that day, who tried to talk him down from the ledge, so to speak. But his mind was made up. No one could help him sort through his feelings at that point.

Hopelessness eventually gave way to action, and now he leaves behind a child, family members and friends who loved him.

This breaks my heart. Recession or not, people are taking their lives because, for whatever reason, they have lost hope.

They may have lost a job, a spouse, a child or some golden opportunity. They may feel lost or alone. They may begin to feel that the difficulty of life at every turn these days is not worth the trouble anymore.

We as the Body of Christ need to pay closer attention to what is going on in the lives of our friends and neighbors, co-workers and brothers and sisters in Christ. Why?

We all are adept at hiding our true feelings. We can be despairing of life and still walk around with a smile on our faces when we have to.

I know what I'm talking about. I've done it.

If we're open to listen for the voice of the Lord, He is faithful to open the door to what I call 'divine appointments' with others, i.e. being in the right place at the right time to talk with or pray with someone who is struggling, in distress, hopeless or all of the above and then some.

I've been on the receiving end of a divine appointment many times, during which I've been tremendously encouraged by the words of another who felt the tug of the Holy Spirit to talk with me, share scripture, pray with me or even just listen.

God has given me a soft spot for people, so I've felt that same tug when I encounter someone who is hurting or desperate, whether it's in the grocery store, at the gas station or even in the newsroom. And it's amazing what God does when I reluctantly choose to step out of my inability *and into His ability* to offer hope and comfort.

We as followers of Jesus just can't underestimate the kind of impact that we can have on other people who are in deep despair or who are just plain worn out with life. I tend to think that I don't have much to offer, because I'm so very inept when it comes to leading a small group, teaching from the Bible or preaching to even a small crowd.

But one thing I *can* do is choose to make myself available when a need presents itself and then allow the Holy Spirit to take over and do all the heavy lifting.

That includes praying with others when they need it, listening and, if it's appropriate, sharing my faith, what God has done in my life, how I've been changed by it, how hope has been restored and how I've discovered that my life really does have meaning and purpose, even potential (as hard as it is even for me to see it sometimes).

What's more, every once in a while I'm reminded that everything I do and say can cause people to form an opinion about God, about the Christian life, about whether this God is worth finding out more about. And it's the same for you if you're developing a relationship with God.

When we're able to demonstrate that God really is love — and that His love offers the kind of hope that we can't promise or just drum up ourselves — those who are hopeless find not only an eternal hope but also a reason to live.

That may require us to be uncomfortable, but aren't the lives of others worth it?

Next post: I've hammered on this for awhile, but obviously, emotions play a huge role in whether we choose life or death. Reining in emotions takes discipline, and that takes time to develop.

I'm on my way to the Smoky Mountains to revel in beauty and quietness

2009-09-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

As I sit here on my couch with my coffee watching cardinals and robins hop onto my lone birdfeeder for breakfast, I feel excited about the wildlife I'm likely to see and hear this week in Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It's one of my favorite places on Earth, a refuge I've revisited many times when I've needed to retreat from the crush of life's responsibilities.

When I go camping I often see a lot of different types of birds, and I packed my birder book last night along with others about topography, trees and foliage that have gathered dust in the past two years while I've been recovering from an injury.

I'm not out of the woods on that front just yet, but the nerve pain is at least manageable now -- although I still despise this chronic pain with an intensity that's hard to explain, because it has slowed me down considerably and still affects the way I feel about life every day.

I've sat and wondered bitterly at times about why I've been forced to slow my pace in so many areas of life. Slowing down is not something that I do gracefully, and I don't plan to get used to it.

I thrive on the new and different. By nature, I'm an adventurer and an accomplisher, and when I'm unable to be either one of those to my fullest capacity, life gets stale, dull and boring. Then I'm stuck with this restless feeling that's hard to shake.

Over the past several years, I've developed a passion for camping, hiking and running rivers, but it's not only the surroundings and surprises I'm looking forward to. It's the promise of solitude.

I mentioned last week a book I'm reading, 'So, You Want to Be Like Christ?' by Chuck Swindoll. A friend and I are going through the workbook together.

Swindoll says one of the ways we become more like Christ is by embracing solitude. I don't have a problem with that at all. I crave solitude.
There's a whole chapter on this subject that I haven't made it to yet.

It wasn't a natural thing for me in the beginning of my walk with God. I'm a very social person, and I value relationship, but over the past few years I've come to appreciate quietness, and I often long for even just a couple of hours of being alone every day.

There's an epidemic of busyness that I see in Christian circles that's exhausting. I've been there for years, and when I got injured and couldn't do anything productive for a few months, I recognized something that has changed the way I lived: I never stopped moving. My mind was never at rest.

If I wasn't working in some capacity I was with other people doing something that needed to be done. Or I was spending time with others because they wanted me to. If I wasn't praying I was reading. If I wasn't writing I was thinking about what I was going to write.

I know that God has given each of us giftings and callings that require us to bear fruit for His kingdom. But it's so easy to get out of balance in all the doing -- so out of balance that you just want to run away. I know I'm not the only one who has felt this way about the Christian life.

I realized awhile back that in all my doing, I wasn't being productive at all. I was just spinning my wheels. Why?

In the back of my mind, I felt I was more pleasing to God if I was constantly immersed in what I call some kind of 'God activity.' I was wrong. A mind that's never at rest is just that -- restless. And that's not what God intended.

Next post: That's why a proper perspective on quietness and solitude are so crucial to becoming like Christ, not to mention maintaining our sanity.

Godliness doesn't just happen

2009-09-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

‘I've been reading ‘So, You Want to Be Like Christ?’ by Chuck Swindoll. He references 1 Timothy 4:7, ‘Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness,’ noting that this one choice is the foundation for becoming like Christ.

Discipline takes focus. And it won't happen overnight. We have to make that conscious choice to find out what the Bible says about what it means to walk uprightly before God.

That requires time reading the Bible, meditating on it, discussing it with others and being in church consistently. Then it's up to us to begin to put what we learn into practice.

Swindoll uses the phrase ‘condition yourself,’ pointing out that no one can do it for us. Your pastor can't do it for you. Your Christian friends can't do it for you.

It's up to you to develop and then to demonstrate self-control and to what's necessary to have relationship with God.

I mentioned awhile back that knowing God and knowing *about* God are entirely different things. I knew certain things about God and His character for the first 24 years of my life without knowing God.

I wasn't actually living the Christian life until I made the choice to surrender my life — all of it, all my plans, all my decisions — to Jesus, for His leading from then on.

That, too, was a conscious choice that required trust.

I resisted surrender for awhile, but the pull of the unconditional love of God — along with the amazing love for people that I saw in others who knew God — was eventually too strong to resist.

I started realizing that I was not like these people by any stretch of the imagination.

They actually loved one another with a love demonstrated through action. I was self-centered, interested in my own gain.

They forgave one another readily. I held grudges and walked away from people with no concern about how it made them feel.

They had deep personal relationships that went beyond just hanging out and having fun. I had shallow relationships based on what I could get out of them.

Their lives had meaning, a sense of purpose, a goal in mind: To love like Christ did, to forgive like Christ did, to show mercy like Christ did, to bring freedom into somebody else's life like Christ did, to die to their own desires like Christ did for someone else's gain and not their own.

My life didn't mirror that lifestyle, and I knew it.

Beyond all that, I knew experientially for the first time the kind of love that only God can provide — a forgiving, complete love that people are generally incapable of offering on a consistent basis.

That love has changed everything. But that doesn't mean that I don't still have to continually ‘condition myself for the purpose of godliness.’

Next post: There are practical steps that we can take to begin to build relationship with God. And it is a building process, just like developing a relationship with another person. It takes time getting to know one another.

Long and involved but worth the read: Why marriages bite the dust

2009-09-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

Today's post is long and involved and is made up of comments that I've been leaving this morning for readers on a previous post. The last post I wrote a couple of days ago has to do with marriage and the difficulty of reining in emotions. Please go back and read it before you go on here if you haven't already. In a nutshell: I wrote about a neighbor whose wife (no, ex-wife, I guess -- he signed divorce papers on Sunday morning) bought him a one-way ticket back to his homeland in France. She took him to the airport on Sunday and did away with him, so to speak, because she found someone new on the Internet. He won't be coming back to America.

I don't know the neighbor well, but I know that she says she is Christian. I didn't write about this situation to put her down *at all* -- there are always two sides to every story, and I recognize that -- but to highlight what can happen when we allow our emotions to rule us, when we give them a place in our lives higher than that of Jesus Christ, His words, His commands and His ways.

I'm including here some excerpts of comments written by a reader on the previous post, because I think some of the things she has said are valuable to hear.

From a reader: "If we were busier seeking our Heavenly Father, instead of thinking of ourselves all the time, we would be better off. ... Jesus is Alive and Real. He will help both the one who offends and the one who is hurt. But, if we don't want His Help, then what is left?"

My comments: You know, I think it does come down to dying to self and seeking God. Life is very hard sometimes, and it is very hard to die to self at times, but I think that as we do seek God, we begin to become more like Him, and He is the ultimate example of dying to self, to dying to our own desires. I understand that people often have unmet needs in marriage and that they begin to seek what they're missing in someone else. But marriage is a commitment before God, a promise to be kept.

I believe, too, that when our hearts are filled with the love of God, with the fulfillment that can only be found in Him like you've said here, that we won't have unrealistic expectations of a spouse -- that the spouse won't be the one we're looking to for fulfillment in life.
I just hate to see this kind of thing happening in people's lives. I'm astounded at the lack of commitment I see in many areas. Anything goes these days in our society, and marriage seems to be no more a commitment for life than anything else that people commit to do.

From the reader: "Watered down, lukewarm lives or cold lives. We forget what Jesus did when He walked here on earth and when he died on the cross for us. We forget so many worthwhile things, but we remember the negatives. We get caught up in details that will not last, forsaking the things that are eternal and important. Life is a challenge but until God takes us out of here, it's all we've got and hard or easy, He will help us each step of the way. We are spoiled, we want our way and we want it now. Unmet needs? Some people stay faithful to spouses who are sick in mind and body, talk about unmet needs. We need to learn about love as God loves, love that He gives, unconditional love."

My comments: I think you are right that we *are* spoiled, wanting our own way all the time and choosing to live for the moment rather than staying focused on who we are to be and what we are to do in this life. I've struggled with this at times, and I mean really struggled. So I am not writing this in pride. I'm not above making wrong decisions or being deceived. But I'm striving to stay focused on God and His purposes. Still, I fail like everybody else.

What I do know know is that relationships -- all relationships -- are messy at times. We want our own way and we have to choose to walk in the Spirit and not "in the flesh" in order to walk in forgiveness and to exhibit all those other attributes of the Holy Spirit that are non-negotiables in the Christian life: gentleness, kindness, self-control.

I have watched my dear friends struggle with being in loveless marriages. I have watched them struggle as their spouses push them away, go behind their backs, deceive and grow more distant, seeking their own gain. Those who are presumably living the Christian life seem to have forgotten this scripture: "Esteem one another more highly than yourselves."

In most of these cases the marriage has ended. Much of it has to do with one spouse refusing to compromise or to live by what he or she knows to be right and being drawn away into something he or she thinks will bring happiness and fulfillment in life: the hope of a new, exciting relationship; the loss of responsibility; the prospect of being free; and the realization that he or she made a mistake.

So they want out and will do whatever it takes to get out. Or they just stay in the marriage and seek to find love elsewhere. The one who cheats or demands his own way has forgotten this scripture completely or is just blowing it off. His focus has turned from following God and obeying God to just running after what he wants.

Again, I've watched this happen over and over in the past couple of years, and it is indicative of a heart that is not fully surrendered to the Lord.

I can't imagine being in a volatile marriage, in a marriage where a spouse wanted to give up, wanted his freedom, felt his needs were not being met, whatever. I sympathize. I really do. I don't know what it's like to be married, and especially to be in a bad marriage. But I know what a promise is, and I know of people right now who are no more interested in fulfilling the promise they made than they are in jumping off a cliff.

I feel for those who spouses wanted out and were unwilling to work it out. I feel for those whose spouses fell out of love with them or abused them mentally, emotionally, physically or all three; and for those who married and whose spouses turned out to be the complete opposite of who they seemed to be before the marriage began. I could be in that boat right now, easily.

Those like my cheating neighbor are living for their own gain. They no longer want commitment. They want to be free to sleep with whomever they want, to create a new life with somebody else -- and I'm talking about ppl who used to be in church -- and to call the shots in their lives.
The problem with all that is that when we chose to follow Jesus, we gave Him the right to call the shots from then on -- to choose where we live, who we marry, where we serve in church. Many are choosing to call the shots themselves with no interest in what Jesus thinks about it. And that is indicative of a person whose heart has "grown cold."

What I mentioned above is something that I've seen several times now since I've been Christian. And what's going on is found in scripture. It's an unwillingness to die to our own desires.
2 Pet. 2:20 says this: "For if, after escaping the world's corruptions through a full knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus, the Messiah, they are again entangled and conquered by those corruptions, then their last condition is worse than their former one."
This is a choice that we make, to walk away from sin and to be on guard. It is not always easy but we need to fear God, be in the Word of God and be "disciplining ourselves for the purpose of godliness" (1 Tim. 4:7).

I've been reading a book called "So, You Want to Be Like Christ?" by Chuck Swindoll. A friend and I are going over the workbook together. She has been immersed in this book for weeks, and it is changing her thinking day by day.

Swindoll starts out in the introduction talking about the scripture I mentioned above, the foundation for living a godly life and for becoming like Christ in all we say and do. It won't just happen overnight. We have to make that conscious choice to "discipline ourselves for the purpose of godliness," learning how to "rightly divide the word of truth," honestly to just know what the Bible says about what it means to actually walk uprightly before God. And that requires time in the word, time meditating on it, discussing it.

And in this area we are severely lacking, in quality time spent in the word, in "training our senses to discern good and evil," in quality prayer time. We would rather be online or running around doing stuff with others.

I'm not saying that time online is bad at all. I spend time online talking with others, cultivating friendship at times and staying in touch with people I love, but I limit it. And I no longer have a desire to be online all the time.

I crave quietness. I crave time alone. I also desire to spend time with people, and I do that, but I limit that, too, because my life often becomes a lesson in what I call "fellowship overload."

I have people all around me all the time, and while that's not a bad thing in itself, it becomes a real problem when I'm spending all my time with people and no time alone with the Lord.

That desire to be alone with the Lord has had to be cultivated over the years. I always -- and I mean always -- wanted to be around others. I wanted fellowship with other believers, but it was way out of balance for several years. I couldn't be alone. I was miserable when I was alone. But I knew that it was essential for me to learn how to hear from God and to grow in Christ and that this can be cultivated only by spending that quality time with the Lord by myself.

So I began to spend more time alone and grew to need it. I also got to the point to where my life was so scheduled with people and events that I was exhausted with it all and really just couldn't stand it any longer. That's when I started going camping and hiking by myself, to get away from the crush of activity.

It was water to my soul. And I began to recognize how out of balance I was. Over the past couple of years, the fellowship overload crept in again, and I have had to severely pull back again and not be as accessible to others as I once was. That's not easy for me, because I know that I am hurting people's feelings by not being as available as I once was. But again, I have to take control of how much time I'm spending with others when I recognize that I am not spending enough time quietly studying, praying and just being silent before God.

I find that when I am not spending the kind of time I need with the Lord, I begin to lose focus. I start feeling unfulfilled. And it is during these times that I become vulnerable in all kinds of areas. I lose the focus of what I've been called to do -- to show others who God is; to write songs and intercede for others, for the church, in worship, by myself and with others in church; to exemplify the love of God in everything that I do and say; to be an exhorter who builds up, encourages and warns.

These are the callings on my life, but when I don't spend the kind of time alone with God that I need to be spending, I lose perspective. I forget what God has told me through the prophetic word that He has in store for me, what He has planned for me to do.

It is so easy to get off course, to get lazy, to get complacent. But when we spend time in the word of God and in prayer, we are strengthened, enlightened, encouraged, built up and literally changed from the inside out, changed more and more into who we need to be to withstand temptation, to desire more of God, to desire godliness more than worldliness, to long more for the things of God than for the things of this world that are fleeting.

I'm not saying that relationships and marriage are fleeting or that they are worldly desires. They're not. I'm not saying that I don't want marriage and the fulfillment that it can bring. I do.

I know that it can be fulfilling. It is supposed to be the ultimate picture of the love that Christ has for his bride, His church. And I know that I will be married one day. The Lord has given me this promise more than once through his word and through the prophetic word spoken over my life in a church setting.

But I think that when two married people who say they are Christian are not spending quality time with the Lord, together and separately, they are asking for trouble and are vulnerable to selfishness, self-seeking, selfish ambition. Heck, we all are, whether married or single. Either way, one or the other person in marriage is going to begin to look to his spouse to find fulfillment in life. And the other person just can't carry that kind of burden, that kind of unrealistic expectation. The load is too heavy, and only Jesus can carry it.

God is the only one who is capable of completely providing the kind of fulfillment we need in this life to be happy and feel fulfilled.

Another reader's comment today: As a pastor, I can tell you one thing is for sure. The marriages in Jackson are under assault. Much prayer needed.

My response: Will you elaborate generally on what you're seeing? What kinds of ways that marriages are under attack? And how you and your church are praying for those who are struggling in this area?

And another reader's comment today: James said "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight." Why do we keep trying to have what we want, or what we *think* we want?

My response: The scripture you've shared hits the nail on the head. I think often we are more interested in being happy all the time and having all of our whims catered to by another person than in surrendering our hearts -- the core of who we are -- to the lordship of Jesus Christ.

Nobody likes the idea that someone will "lord" something over us, but when we choose to say that Jesus is indeed "Lord" of our lives, to call Him "Lord and Savior," we are then saying that He and His word will take precedence over what we feel like doing at one time or another. But we don't like that. We don't like to be told by anyone that our actions are wrong, that they are sin, and we are actually willing to hurt another person for our own gain (or what we think will be our own gain).

I think it comes down to selfishness, the attitude of self-seeking and selfish ambition, being unwilling to yield to the needs and desires of others. I know that it has to be a 50/50 compromise thing, as long as that compromise doesn't lead to sin. But I think also that it has to do with having a desire to put the other person's needs above your own. Even ppl who are not married do this in friendships and family relationships. This cannot be accomplished *consistently* and for the long haul unless a person is submitting to Jesus, having a desire to care for the other person's needs first.

Like I said in today's post, I don't know what it's like to be married and to have to constantly surrender my will to another's. But I do know what it means to have to constantly surrender my will to the will of the Father, and I won't lie. It ain't always easy.

Next post: There's much more to say about this, and I hope that readers will chime in on how you feel about what's been said here and on the previous post. Please share your input for my benefit and for the benefit of others.

Tired of the same-old, same-old: My friend's wife sends him packing, literally, for Internet relationship

2009-09-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

‘I spent a couple of hours out on my patio talking with a neighbor the other night whose spouse wants out of their marriage — so much so that she bought him a one-way ticket back to his homeland overseas. His wife was at work when he walked past my place, saw me outside and stopped to tell me goodbye.
She'll drive him to the airport this weekend, he said, presumably to make sure he actually goes. And he won't be coming back to America. There's nothing here left for him, he says. His wife wants out because she has found somebody new — on the Internet.

After he leaves, he confided, she's getting a new place, a bigger place, a place big enough for a family.

Now I know that there are two sides to every story and that I can't just take his word for it, but he does have compelling proof of infidelity — recorded Internet chats in which she tells her lover when he can come to visit (while her husband was away overseas) and that she loves him and will talk to him soon.

My neighbor also found proof of gifts his wife bought for the lover.

His wife's phone rings, and she repeatedly chooses not to answer the call. This happens more than once over a period of weeks, with no explanation by her of who is calling or why she won't answer when her husband is around.

So my friend calls the number and finds out who has been calling his wife's mobile — and the person who answers, my friend later learns, is already married and is now leaving his spouse as well.

My friend's wife is always on Facebook, he says, or always sending and receiving messages on her Blackberry — in a language that he can't read or speak (she's a different nationality). She's no longer interested in quality time together alone. Her heart has now been captured by someone she barely knows.

I know several people whose spouses have been unfaithful. It tears their families apart, creating unbelievable heartache, stress and grief that takes years to get over. Infidelity is the kind of thing that happens when we choose to live by how we feel rather than by the promises we make.

People who cheat find themselves dissatisfied with the way things are. They get bored in their marriages. They want the new and exciting. They ‘throw off all constraints.’ They act on their evil desires, because they've allowed themselves to get carried away by their emotions.

What's most unfortunate is that my friend's wife has no idea that she will reap what she sows. It's a Biblical principle. Her lover will eventually do the same thing to her that she does to her husband. And her life will be in shambles, bearing the shame of regret over having pushed away the one who choked out these words to me the other night: ‘Even after all the proof I've found, I still love her.’

How important it is for us to get our emotions under control before they lead us straight into sin, straight into folly, into foolish actions that forever alter our lives and the lives of others.’ How serious it is to choose to be unfaithful, for everybody involved.’

Next post: I'll delve a little deeper into how this kind of thing happens.

Your 'Christian' vitriol doesn't impress anybody -- it's sickening

2009-08-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

Something I read the other day really got my goat, so much so that I had to wait a week or so just to write about it here without being angry (I try not to write about something I've heard, seen or read when I'm angry about it, because that's not always such a good idea for obvious reasons).

What I read (actually what I edited on a newspaper page proof -- I don't read this kind of thing for pleasure) grieved me on several levels.

It was nothing but vitriol against those who live a liberal lifestyle, written with what the writer would no doubt say is a "Christian" perspective. It made me want to get up and go barf (and that is no exaggeration -- I literally got nauseated).

The subject matter was written with an arrogant, even antagonistic slant toward non-believers, almost daring the reader with a different viewpoint to get angry. In it, the writer ticks off, among other things, a list of behavioral gaffes made in the past year by people who hold prominent positions in society.

This piece is the most arrogant thing I've read written by a Christian in a long time. It was as if the writer was, by her choice of words, wearing conservatism like it's some badge of honor -- proudly denouncing others, publicly making a show of them. In the piece, the writer celebrates the downfall of others.

The truth is, what was meant by the writer to be witty commentary was nothing but an astounding display of pride and arrogance. And unfortunately for the writer (and for anybody who thinks it's perfectly OK to have this kind of attitude), pride comes before a fall.

Here's the thing: Being Christian and believing that the Bible is truth is *not* about putting others down who don't live like you or think like you. It's not about acting morally superior toward those who don't have your worldview. It's nowhere near about tearing down people who don't hold to what you believe is good and right in this world.

I know full well that writing this here today will cause those who look down their noses at unbelievers to think that *I'm* the one being morally superior. So be it. I'm disgusted with the way people who don't believe in God are treated by so many church folks. And I am church folk.

Where did Christians ever get the idea that it's OK to dogg people who don't know God? How is that kind of behavior ever going to bring anybody around to our way of thinking? How is taunting someone for his beliefs ever going to convince him that he needs our God? It's simply not going to.

Has anybody who does this kind of thing -- and I'm talking about antagonizing the very ones we are supposed to be reaching for Christ -- ever stopped to think that you, too, were once in the same boat with the unbeliever? You were "dying in your trespasses and sins" just as much as the next guy (or girl).

Has it ever occurred to you that you know absolutely nothing except by the grace of God, except for the fact that the Father chose to give the Holy Spirit the go-ahead to reveal Himself to you? You had no wisdom or understanding or revelation about anything that has to do with God apart from someone else teaching you. So where do you get the idea that you're superior to the unbeliever?

You're not.

And if you're treating people who don't hold to your worldview like they're idiots with your hardhearted, hardheaded speech, you're doing a whole heck of a lot of damage to the kingdom of God. You're only succeeding in pushing them further away from the possibility of one day having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Let me be clear: I'm not in any way saying that we hide who we are and what we believe to be good and right just to be popular with people who don't know God and may not want to know God. By no means am I saying that we water down the gospel for anybody, for any reason.

And don't tell me that what I'm implying here is that we just go ahead and say "good is evil, and evil is good." I'm absolutely not inferring that. Sin is sin, and sin needs to be washed away in order to have right relationship with God.

I'm a God-lover, a God-seeker, a follower of Jesus Christ and Him only. He *only* is the way, the truth and the life, and no one comes to the Father except by Him. That's always been my position.

But if we're using Christianity to rub somebody else's nose in the dirt and celebrate their missteps because we think that's witty or funny, we're in serious trouble. Because that attitude stinks of pride, and it needs to be rooted out of the heart by the one who celebrates to others by his speech just how "godly" he has become.

None of us is godly apart from the gift of knowing God that we've been given -- the gift that we didn't deserve or even ask for. When God came on the scene in our lives, most of us received tremendous amounts of mercy from a loving God and were absolutely undone over who and what we had become -- undone before a holy God who is the only one capable of molding and shaping us into His image.

And when I read this kind of vitriol spewed at the unbeliever, I wonder how many of us still are.

Next post: Back to emotions and how they affect every area of our lives.

Keeping up appearances is just too much work

2009-08-13T09:29:00.000-07:00

BTW: I intended to write here over the weekend, but unforseen work at the end of the week ate up the rest of my work hours. I'm sorry about that.

Continuing with the series on emotions:

Being real sometimes about where we are emotionally or spiritually is just not easy. Transparency makes us vulnerable to the opinions of others, to having our weaknesses exposed in some way around others who appear to live the perfect Christian life.

The truth is, nobody lives the ‘perfect’ Christian life. And Christian or not, nobody lives a perfect life, a life free of any care or difficulty.

Whether you're rich or poor, successful or failing, content or struggling, life still pulls punches. Every person on the planet is confronted with something or somebody every day that can yank their chain.

Everyday life presents so many blessings from God, and I'm happy to say I'm a continual recipient. But everyday life also presents one challenge after another, and that makes it hard to keep up appearances.

If you ask me, I think that's right where the Lord wants us — in a position of humility where we're forced to be honest with one another, where it's evident sometimes that none of us has it all together, all the time.

Why do I think that's where He wants us? Because churches packed with perfect-looking, perfect-sounding, perfect-acting people who never appear to struggle with anything also are packed with people (those same people) who live in fear that who they ‘really are’ will eventually show somehow — and that they'll be rejected for who they are, or aren't, in some area.

That emotion — the fear of rejection — is real and can be crippling. It keeps people from developing meaningful relationships in our churches, the very place we desperately need to be real with one another.

It keeps those of us who have been ‘redeemed’ from sin from being able to fully demonstrate the glory of God, His redemptive power, His ability to change a person from the inside out, for a lifetime.

See, if we're all living a perfect life, we don't need a God who can pick us up when we're down, who can and does regularly take a person whose life is riddled with sin (and the destructive effects of that sin) and make him whole.

If nobody's struggling with anything, ever (and we really are, actually, even those who have walked with the Lord for a while now), then where's the hope for the ones in church who feel that everyone else sitting there with them has a perfect record?

And if all we're interested in is making sure that others can't see ‘the real me’ — the one who is in desperate, continual need of God's help — we just stay bound up in that fear and in our struggles, which means that the ones we're supposed to be influencing in our churches stay bound up, too.

The scripture I'm thinking of right now has to do with how vitally important it is for the redeemed of the Lord to ‘say so.’ It's 2 Cor. 1:3-4.

‘Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.’

When we're willing to be real in our churches about where we are in life, that gives others the green light to get real, too. And that opens the door to ministry, to hearts getting healed. And when that person's heart is restored, he can then go and help bring restoration to someone else's.’

Next post: When you do decide to get real with others in church, it's a good idea to pray about who you need to share with before you launch out into the deep. I've learned this the hard way.

It's unbelievable how this ‘Christian’ talked down to my friend

2009-08-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

Taking a break from the series on emotions (although I do have to say that my emotions are boiling over right now after what I've just heard):

One of my co-workers who prepares the church event listings for Saturday's newspaper just stood here at my desk this morning and told me about how a caller cussed her yesterday repeatedly, calling her an idiot a few times during the conversation because the caller didn't see an event she was looking for in last week's listings.

The event wasn't in that file -- it was meant to go in the church directory, an advertisement that runs every week in print, not a free listing but one that must be paid for by a church administrator, not even an individual in the public.

Evidently the church she's affiliated with didn't pay to be listed in the ad. She wouldn't hear of that, though.

Instead, she -- a "Christian" -- repeatedly used the f-word (and I mean repeatedly -- like once isn't bad enough to hurt her witness) and continued to talk down to my colleague like she was dirt under her feet.

The caller then told my colleague that she must be affiliated with a different denomination than her (which I won't mention here) and that her denomination (which I also won't mention here) was evidently being discriminated against by The Jackson Sun's employees, because the listing she expected to see wasn't there.

That's neither here nor there. There's no discrimination going on. The church didn't pay to be included in the ad. Simple.

What bothers me is the fact that she's cussing somebody and is calling about a church listing, for crying out loud. Can we say "un-Christian" to the max?

Can we say "totally misrepresenting the faith, misrepresenting a follower of Jesus Christ?"

Because it's clear that she's not one. But she'll no doubt be in church tonight at some potluck supper or prayer service being pious.

And I'm not being harsh here. I'm just being real: Does she remember Jesus' strong admonition against calling anyone an idiot? Does she even know Jesus? Does she get it at all?

This post is not a rant about a caller and bad behavior. This specific illustration enables me to drive home a point:

When you know Jesus -- and I mean really know Him -- you're changed from the inside out. You're not perfect (not by a long shot, although you are in the process of being perfected, day by day, becoming more and more like Jesus). No, you actually have an unadulterated, genuine love for people, all people. You just don't talk this way to people. I don't care who it is. The desire to do so is just not in there anymore.

Instead, you actually desire to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Jesus said plainly, "A tree will be known by its fruit."

What this caller said and how she said it makes it evident that the fruit she bears is rotten, which means that her tree is rotten on the inside, no matter how healthy it looks on the outside to those she sits next to in the pew every week.

When a tree begins to rot, it's dead to its core. Its roots no longer receive life. And no Christian is dead inside. Rather, he's dead to sin and alive to God.

Jesus referred to this rotten condition of the heart in the Pharisees and Sadducees of his day who were religious to the core but treated people poorly and exacted perfection from everyone around (and I'm paraphrasing here): "They're like whitewashed tombs -- they look great on the outside, clean and fresh, but what's really on the inside is dead and rotting, putrid."

I'll go ahead and cite the New International Version of the Bible in Matt. 23:27:
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean."

I've mentioned here before a friend who works at an office supply store in Jackson. She says the people who are the hardest to please -- the ones who will cuss you to your face over something ridiculous -- often are coming in to buy office supplies for their churches or are wearing a T-shirt with some "Christianese" phrase emblazoned on it.

This is to our shame.

What an absolute bold-faced, stinking lie about me

2009-07-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

Continuing with posts concerning how we deal with our emotions, posts of late that take a more personal tack than usual (and please go back a couple and read those first; I know I say this all the time, but I really do tend to build on a concept or topic day-by-day, and it's better to pick up from the beginning):

In yesterday's post I ticked off a long list of the different ways that God "speaks" to me when I pray, when I pour out how I'm feeling (and believe me, I do pour it out, holding nothing back).

Each time I'm made aware that God -- someone so much more complex than I -- is not only aware of me and the details of my life but also cares and strives to bring me comfort and understanding.

That in itself is phenomenal. It's humbling. It can be exhilirating. It brings tremendous peace, a peace that cannot be found in anything else, in the affection or favor of anybody else. And it will always be this way.

I tell myself occasionally, "Surely if God can 'uphold all things by the word of His power,' He's well-equipped to handle my details and difficulties, attitudes and fears."

That concept alone brings comfort. Not only am I not alone, I'm understood. Completely. Inside and out. What I said yesterday or thought today or considered last week is all understood by God.

He literally knows the end from the beginning. He's aware of what has happened to me throughout my entire life, from Day One, and that reassures me. Why?

Because that means he fully understands why I do what I do and say what I say, every day, with every person. He fully understands why I react the way I do to certain triggers. He fully comprehends what hurts me, what exhilarates me, what grieves me, what gets under my skin, what makes me laugh, what encourages and strengthens me.

He knows exactly what it takes to put the wind back in my sails. And He does so regularly.

Moreover, because He understands, He chooses not to fault me for those flaws, any of them. I can rest assured that because He knows everything about me and my past, even my future, He judges rightly, fairly, consistently, even lovingly.

He sees all of my inconsistencies, flaws and failures -- failure to do right and failure to understand or comprehend whatever -- and honestly, completely, truly loves me anyway. He loves all of me. Every quirk. Every up-and-down. He takes delight in who I am.

This I easily forget, sometimes even resist the idea of. How could He, possibly, knowing me inside and out? Because I know the real me, the attitudes of the heart, the true flaws. I tend to be much harder on myself than anybody else could ever dream of being, and especially the Lord.

Somehow I picked up this idea along the way that I must strive to be pleasing to God every single moment of every day or I'll be counted unworthy of His love, not to mention the love of others.

What a stinking lie. What an exhausting concept. God does not expect this of me, that I should be constantly scrutinizing whether I'm pleasing to Him, whether I'm doing enough for God, whether I'm OK with God or He's OK with me. It's unrealistic, an unrealistic expectation that I've had of myself that I'm just frankly worn out with.

It literally has worn me out and burned me out.

I'm reassured in the Bible that "He knows our frame, that we are but dust." God knows that I am not equipped to carry what only He can carry -- and what He actually wants to carry, the heavy burdens of life that I cannot bear on my own, even my own faults and sins, not to mention the many worries of life that can so quickly overwhelm and over-burden.

Truth be known, I've been living this way for years. And it's a putrid, revolting, stinking lie that I've believed. And it's a pretty miserable existence, to boot.

The truth is, He feels the same bursting love for me that I feel for others on a regular basis. And when I'm able to recognize that, surprisingly, everything I dislike about myself goes dim, and I'm able to feel that true contentment again, regardless of the situation.

Sometimes the contented feeling is fleeting. Other times it sticks around for awhile. Either way, I'm reassured and, once again, the conflicted feelings, conflicted emotions, are brought in check and dealt with, reconciled, and I can breathe again in my own skin.

Next post: Honestly unsure. I'm going on vacation for nine days, and I may post if I feel like it, or maybe not. I will definitely be sticking with the same topic for awhile though -- emotions, mine and yours.

When you're conflicted inside, and relief cannot be found

2009-07-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

Circling back to what I said yesterday, about what usually ends up happening in my life when I'm dealing with conflicting emotions that refuse to leave me alone:

I made mention of our need to go to the Lord and pour out our feelings, our complaints, our emotions, with a reference in Psalm 62 that says "pour out your heart to Him, oh people, for God is a refuge for us."

Why do we so often refuse to do this? Are we afraid of repercussions if we actually put into words all we are feeling or thinking?

Why do we resist saying how we really feel when God is fully aware of what we're thinking and how we're acting, to begin with?

I also mentioned that the first thing that happens with me when I'm conflicted is that I have an intense desire to pray alone, out loud, to get it all out in the open, whatever I'm feeling, concerned about, confused about, wondering about, frustrated about, disappointed over, whatever.

I know that this is good for me (and for everybody else I know who knows God), because it opens the door for dialogue between me and the Lord, which brings me to my next point:

The second thing that happens most often is this: I either hear a scripture, a scripture reference, a song lyric, a phrase or a sentence; see a picture of something or some situation in my mind (what I call a "word picture"); have a dream while sleeping that helps me to understand an undercurrent behind an emotion or feeling I'm having or gives me a warning or direction on how to proceed, in prayer or otherwise; I experience peace and the awareness of the spirit of God; or I hear nothing (but that's rare).

See, we can count on that scripture that reminds us, "Ask and it shall be given unto you; seek and you will find; knock and the door shall be opened to you." Another one that came to mind yesterday as I was thinking on this: "Seek Me, and you will find me, if you seek after Me with all your heart."

If we're genuinely interested in answers, in gaining wisdom, revelation and understanding, we can be sure that God is more than willing to go out of His way to help us to recognize it. First, that does require us to do the seeking, the honest quest to know God (and I mean really know Him, not just know about Him).

But often our lives are so cluttered that we're unable to recognize the voice of God, the prompting of the Holy Spirit, the clues he's giving that help us to gain understanding.

We refuse to get quiet enough and still enough to actually discern that "still, small voice" of the Holy Spirit, who is our direct line to God the Father.

Next post: I'll share what then happens next, which more often than not enables me to deal with conflicting emotions and come into a place of security, a place of joy and contentment, a place that honestly can't be found any other way (and I can, indeed, say this because I've been at this for awhile now, trying to find contentment and joy with God and, at one time, without).

I've got to be gut-level honest here

2009-07-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

Taking an even more personal turn with the series on emotions:

It seems to me that I'm identifying these days with every song that I hear on the radio about transparency, about being real about who we are and where we are and what we can still struggle with as Christians and even why. I've added a link to a song I just heard a moment ago at the bottom of this post, so please scroll on down there and listen.

However, please humor me and listen to the song after you've read what I've written today, not while you're reading, because I want you to really listen to every line in this song and contemplate what it means in the context of your own life — what it means to be you every day, to wear all of the hats you wear and all of the challenges you face as a person living on planet Earth.

The truth is, when it comes down to dealing with emotions that crop up in everyday life, Christian or not, we all have them and have to deal with them. We all have a choice about what we say and do when provoked or faced with myriad situations. We all have the ability to get an emotion under control before it gets control of us, again, whether we're Christian or not.

Having said that, there are some definite benefits to looking at life and the emotions it produces from a Christian perspective. And I'll even take that a step further: Those benefits are only set in motion when we begin to cultivate a relationship with God, trusting Him alone with our lives and the turns we take on the journey.

I'll get to the specific benefits in a moment.

A friend told me something yesterday over coffee that comforted me: Having emotions that cause us to feel conflicted on the inside, for whatever reason, doesn't make us good or bad, and especially so in God's eyes. What it makes us is human.

I guess the difference in the ability of a Christian to handle emotions well, for me anyway, is that when I'm confronted with emotions that have me feeling conflicted (which always leads to feeling irritated, frustrated, angry or disappointed in some way), several things usually happen to me that eventually bring comfort and solace to my soul, renewing my hope in life, in God and in people.

Here's what usually happens: It never fails. More often than not, when I am experiencing a range of emotions (and again, they could be anything any day of the week), I have an intense desire to get alone for a minute — or a few minutes — and pray. I tend to have no choice but to pour out exactly how I'm feeling. I always think about how David said in the Psalms that he "poured out my complaint like water."

I read another scripture passage at church the other night that has to do with this type of communing with God. The words "Psalm 62" had drifted through my mind a couple of times during worship, and although I've written a congregational song based on verses in this psalm, I couldn't remember what Psalm 62 has to say. So I looked it up and then read it before the congregation.

Here's a snippet from it, verse 8 of this psalm, that has to do with what I'm getting at here today: "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; for God is a refuge for us. Selah." (This last word, selah, pronounced "say-luh," means something like, "Pause, and think about that.")

I'm concentrating on the "pour out your heart before Him" part here. There's an element of this that is highly important in times of difficulty, and I wonder how many of us do this very often — going before God for an honest gut-check, literally being gut-level honest with God about how we feel, about anything at all.

There's really no fear in this, because He already knows it all anyway, and somehow, pouring out your heart, i.e. what's deep inside that you probably really need to get out in the open, is incredibly therapeutic.

For me, it opens up an opportunity for dialogue between me and the Lord, because I've said how I really feel about whatever it is, and then my heart is prepared and open to listen for His voice, in whatever form that may take (and there are many).

Next post: I'll talk about what usually happens next. Meanwhile, the song I want you to listen to: I heard this song sometime last year when I wasn't really feeling the way I'm feeling right now. It's a good song, but it didn't affect me then the way it affects me now. Listen here.

I'm acquainted with this feeling and seriously dislike it — but it's necessary

2009-07-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

Back to emotions and how they affect us every day:

I'd like for you to listen to this song. It's speaking to me today. One of the lyrics that jumped out at me: "I can't live by how I feel but by the truth your word reveals/I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding onto me."

What I've been writing here these past few weeks about emotions has hit close to home for me. When I write about how we as Christians have a responsibility to pay attention to our emotions — and to assess them and then "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5) so that our spirits determine how we live, not our emotions — I'm speaking to myself as much as anybody.

I've had so many conflicting emotions for so long, it's hard to articulate them all. I have been in a place of desperation for several reasons, my heart crying out continually to be healed physically, to be changed, to be restored and renewed in so many different ways; for clarity, for understanding, for joy to fully return so that I can live a fulfilling life; to understand my purpose and to walk fully in it; for the grace to be willing to completely die to my own desires to please the Master.

While searching for a Bible verse, I found this Web site, and I'm taken by the main image, because it speaks to a place on the inside, a deep place in me, a place of yearning. The girl in the painting has the same look on her face that I've had for more than a year now, whether I'm by myself or surrounded by others.

I know this look, because it's been the look on my face every time I've glanced in the mirror for a very long time now. I'm painfully acquainted with the feeling. I'm one of those people who has trouble hiding how he really feels. I won't be fake. It just feels wrong. If I feel less than great I won't say I'm OK. If I'm feeling happy and contented, others will know that, too.

(I'm not unhappy all the time, by the way; I don't want to infer that. My physical condition has improved so much that I feel like smiling again much of the time. But the pain still hasn't let up even for a few minutes, and that makes it hard to be jolly, especially by day's end. Either way, I make a decision every day to approach the Lord and to worship with my whole heart regardless of how I feel, because I believe the scripture that God is "a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" and know, too, that I'm gaining strength one way or another every time I get alone with God.)

Anyway, the girl in the painting has evidently been broken, and she — a simple vessel of clay — is being shaped by loving hands, capable hands, the Potter's hands. I've often thought of how anything made of clay hardens into the shape it has been molded into. Otherwise it couldn't be used. But the only way to re-shape that vessel into something new is to break it, crush it to powder, add water and start over.

This is what happens with us, over and over again in the Christian life, and if we refuse to yield to the shaping and molding of the Potter's hand, it is to our detriment. I've learned the hard way that we're going to be broken and reshaped regardless.

Whether it does us any good has to do with whether we're willing to be soft and malleable in the hand of God, allowing Him to do the work that needs to be done — the chastening, the breaking, the often painful moments of revealing what's in our hearts to us — for our own good.

When I saw this picture I thought of the following verses (The Lord was speaking to the prophet Jeremiah here so that he could speak God's thoughts to the nation of Israel):

Jeremiah 18:2 says: "Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause you to hear My words."

Verses 4-6 go on to say this:
"But the vessel that he (the potter) was making of clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter; so he remade it into another vessel, as it pleased the potter to make. Then the word of the LORD came to me saying, ‘Can I not, O house of Israel, deal with you as this potter does?’ declares the LORD. ‘Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel.’

Consider this translation of some of this same passage: "Now and then there would be something wrong with the pot he was molding from the clay with his hands. So he would rework the clay into another kind of pot as he saw fit. Then the Lord said to me, ‘I, the Lord, say: 'O nation of Israel, can I not deal with you as this potter deals with the clay? In my hands, you, O nation of Israel, are just like the clay in this potter's hand.’ ’

One commentary says this: Something was wrong with the clay — either there was a lump in it, or it was too moist or not moist enough, or it had some other imperfection. In any case the vessel was “ruined” or “spoiled” or defective in the eyes of the potter ... The nature of the clay and how it responded to the potter’s hand determined the kind of vessel that he made of it. He did not throw the clay away."

The same is true with us. How we respond to God's dealings with us determines who He can make us into — a vessel that can be used effectively or something that serves no purpose other than to sit on a high shelf and contain something insignificant, or maybe even put outside the back door, unfit for use at all.

Responding to anything that God is doing in us personally (and I'm talking about walking through trials in life) will require us to set aside our emotions about what's going on and continue to trust and praise God in spite of it. Going through something difficult will show you what you're made of, what you really believe about God. And it ain't pretty sometimes (at least it hasn't been in my life).

Someone said something recently in church that is so true (I'm paraphrasing, but this is the gist), "It's when you don't have any money in the bank, when you're going through very difficult things, that you find out whether you believe that God is God."

It's during that remolding process — when you've been broken and then crushed — that you find out what's really on the inside, whether you believe anything you've professed or sung about, whether you're in this Christian thing for the long haul, whether you really are committed to knowing Jesus and walking in His ways, no matter how hard that turns out to be.

It's during those difficulties when emotions can reach a fever pitch and then either take you out or drive you to your knees in prayer. I've been there many times.

The good news is that when we are being reshaped by the Potter's hand, the Living Water that's needed to get the process started again is readily available and certainly not in short supply.

Next post: Unsure where this is going to take me. I do intend to talk about the tragedy that took place in Steve McNair's life and how emotions played a huge part in what happened, from start to terrible finish.

Has anybody else ever felt this way?

2009-07-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

No time to write today but be looking for new posts beginning sometime Sunday.
Meanwhile, I've pasted a link below to what I'm listening to right now while cranking out newspaper pages on a Thursday afternoon, the last day of my workweek. This song really exemplifies what a lot of people go through, feeling that they must be perfect to be right with God.

We look at the lives of others and wonder what's wrong with us when we don't feel as they do, worship as they do, appear to be as happy as they are.

Our joy is real, no doubt, but often we are hurting inside and are afraid to reveal it, thinking that everybody around us in church is peachy keen. Not so. We all struggle. We all get disappointed, in ourselves, in God, in others.

We all sin, have regret, have sorrow sometimes. And we fear that being transparent about who we really are will make people really not want to get to know us or be able to trust us.

I have gone through this, and it just makes you want to isolate. But let me tell you right now that there is no perfect person on Earth. There is no one who is happy 24/7. There is no one immune to the difficulty of life or the propensity to mess up somehow.

Churches are full of imperfect people seeking a perfect God. See, this is why we need a Savior -- and can rejoice that we do indeed have one, who said that He will literally "never leave you or forsake you." We can count on it.

Please listen to this song and allow it to set you free from the idea that you have to conceal who you really are and what you're going through.

How insensitive could you possibly get?

2009-07-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

Breaking from the series on emotions for some levity:

One of my co-workers told me about this blog awhile back, but because I'm not online all the time (yes, I am behind the times, people, but I'm one of those who prefers to spend more time with people face-to-face than online) I don't tend to frequent very many blogs. This one I may start going to more often: "Stuff Christians Like." Yeah, I know it's probably been around a long time, and you've likely been there, done that, but just humor me here.

The blog I've mentioned above can get serious, but it's known for its tongue-in-cheek take on church and Christian living.

My co-workers and I — Christian and non-Christian — tend to get into conversations here in the newsroom that you may not expect, about anything and everything, and that's something that I enjoy so much about working here. The dialogue that goes on here is thoughtful, and often it turns into a brainstorming session on how we can present topics to our readership that are relevant to them.

All kinds of people work here, people of faith and people who don't feel they need faith. We respect one another's views and treat one another with courtesy. And we discuss thoroughly. I'm always saying, "If we all can't stop talking about this topic, then you know that others are probably discussing it as well. This is a story!"

The dialogue can get spirited. Opinions about life and how it should be lived are strong. We laugh a lot. We laugh hard. Sometimes we cry (honestly, we do, because we care about one another). And my comrades and I talk about church, about Christians, about things that have been said and done that people appreciate or just simply can't stand. I talk about living the Christian life, as do others. We commiserate, we complain and we praise.

So when my friend Tracie, a reporter who frequently writes in news and also for our Religion section, told me about this one particular post I've highlighted below, I knew I had to post it here as well.

It has to do with stupid things that people say to one another in church — insensitive things, remarks that are better left unsaid, people's opinions about "the way things are" and how those things that are said have the potential to scar someone else.

The post I've linked to below is about stupid things people say to couples in church who don't have children: "Surviving church as a married couple without kids." And there's a link in this particular post, too, about the difficulties of being a single person in church and the stupid, insensitive things that people say to single people (like me).

So when my good friend Tracie sent me to this post this morning, we just had to discuss some of the things that have been said to us over the years. Get this: One person told me that I'll never really know what "real love" is unless I choose to have children (I don't plan to do so).

Um, hello? Yeah, I get what he's saying. But the apostle Paul — quite possibly the most influential person in Christian history — didn't have a wife or children and even said, "Look, I wish you'd just remain as I am. If you're unmarried when you come to know Christ, don't seek to have a spouse. If you're married, don't seek to leave your spouse. Just stay the way you are. If you want to marry, that's OK, too."

Paul had phenomenal experiences with God — phenomenal, people, literally phenomenons of encounters with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit — and knew the love of God in ways that most of us probably have never experienced. So don't tell me that I have to have my own children from my own womb to know the love of God.

If I remain as Paul did and that's what's preferable (although sometimes I think I'd prefer to be married but that ain't happening at the moment and that's OK), the person who said this stuff to me about "real love" in regard to having children has absolutely no wisdom at all on the subject of whether I can experience "real love" being single with no kids.

Another thing that really got my goat one time was when a friend told me that I'm selfish because I don't want to have kids.

What! Selfish! Don't try it with me! Now that one really hurt me. I have a history of spending a ton of time with kids in the church. I want to be influential in their lives! I adore my niece and nephew and try to spend a ton of time with them when I can. And I'm getting a new niece who is 4 in September and am thrilled about the prospect of being her aunt and getting to know her well and having a special relationship with her.

One of my neighbor's daughters is very special to me as well, and when he moves later this year I think I'll cry because I won't see his daughter often (and I'll miss him, too). She's 7. She's a hoot. She came over last night just to visit with me for awhile and sing for me. I love that kid and have told her so.

Not having your own kids says nothing about whether you love and appreciate them. And it says nothing about whether you understand love or understand God's love. Granted, I'm sure there are things you learn. But God's not limited in showing me His love by my choice here.

Anyway, now that I've shared some of the insensitive things that have been said to me, read the link below and gain wisdom. It's a good primer on what not to do.

http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/06/568-suriving-church-as-married-couple.html

What a waste of time — along with the energy it takes to get angry

2009-07-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Picking up from where I left off yesterday about emotions:

Once a few years ago I was taken totally by surprise at the reaction I was getting from someone who turned out to be angry with me.

I was about to take off on a long trip that weekend and noticed the look on this person's face was none too pleasant.

I said, "Is there something wrong? Are you upset with me for something?"

You would have thought I had ruined his life. He erupted into a flurry of angry accusations with a fiery red face to accompany his furious demeanor. And I mean furious.

I looked at him in total shock and with not a little fear. He was so angry with me that he was shaking. And that had me shaking.

I tried to calmly explain why I said what I said to his wife the night before. I hadn't been ugly or even rude. And she certainly hadn't taken it that way.

It was a total misunderstanding. What I had said had been said for a very good reason, and honestly, it was not what he thought it was.

But what I had said had rubbed him the wrong way in a big way. And he was absolutely infuriated with me. Incensed.

When I explained the reason for the exchange we'd had the night before, the atmosphere went from night to day. A look of total surprise came over his face and he apologized.

I was still pretty shaken, because his reaction honestly scared me. I've never seen anybody that angry before, and especially not that angry with me.

He had made assumptions, jumped to conclusions, and I mean with a quickness. And they were mighty big conclusions. He thought I had been insensitive. He thought that I had spurned his generosity. He thought I was being a spoiled brat.

Not so, but the only way that I could quell that idea was to tell him what really happened, what was said, what my response was and why.

It immediately defused the situation, but I got a dose that day of what happens when somebody gets the wrong idea, refuses to address it and then allows his emotions to get out of control (and women are told how "emotional" we are; the blame goes both ways, folks).

And to this day it still makes me feel sick to my stomach when I think about how angry he was with me -- and how ridiculous and needless it all was. It affected my entire day and how I felt about being around this person from then on.

If he had just chosen to ask me that night what I'd meant by what I said, it would have been cleared up immediately. And he wouldn't have been angry all night long and I wouldn't have been the object of his wrath the next morning.

Those explosive emotions didn't have to brew the night before. But they brewed in his heart for hours until he could speak with me the next day. And he wasn't even going to say anything. I would never have known how angry he was if I hadn't asked why he had that look on his face -- over a problem that didn't even exist.

Yet, he's in church all the time and knows very well what scripture admonishes us to do concerning offenses with others.

This kind of thing happened occasionally thereafter, when he would make an assumption that made him angry but never mention it to me, only to find out later that what I was actually doing and thinking was, in fact, the exact opposite of his perception.

This stresses me out. How many of us are doing this? How many of us are jumping to conclusions about the words, thoughts and motives of others, refusing to do as we're instructed in scripture, to go to the person and discuss your grievance?

No problem ever gets solved this way. Each time this happened -- and it was more than once -- there was never any way that I could have known that I offended him. I needed to be told and shouldn't have been forced time and again over the years to say once again, "Have I offended you in some way?"

I should have been told each time there was an issue with what I'd said or done so that I could explain myself right then and there, because that's what Christians do -- we go to one another gently with our concerns about the other person's conduct in order to maintain the "bond of peace."

At least that's what we're supposed to be doing, but I have to admit that I haven't seen much of that in Jackson in the 14 years I've lived here, and it's evident in the undercurrent of strife, competition and suspicion I've observed between Christians, even between churches in this area.

Next post: This particular bomb was quickly dismantled with a quick discussion between the two of us. And the issue was truly trivial. But what can happen when a situation is really volatile and people lose control of their emotions has evidently played out in Steve McNair's life, and it's terribly tragic and a waste.

You're out of line and in need of an attitude adjustment

2009-03-31T18:21:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, albeit sporadically, I've highlighted the church's need to recognize how hardheartedness toward non-Christians and toward our brothers and sisters in Christ has crept into our thinking, tainting our behavior and making us ineffective witnesses of the love of God and the grace of God.

I'm speaking of bitterness, something we've been admonished to guard against. I've been there, done that. It sets up shop in our hearts, going undetected even for years, until one day it begins to manifest in the words we say to others, in the way we act, react and interact.

And it's not harmless by any stretch. For it is then that we begin to systematically damage others emotionally and mentally, even spiritually, to break their spirits and then leave them in that perpetual state of brokenness, not caring whether there's anybody around to pick them up and help them to walk confidently again in this life.

And the bitter ones who refuse to acknowledge that bitterness are in so deep that they begin to despise the broken ones -- the ones they've hurt -- for their "weakness" or "hypersensitivity," totally shirking any responsibility for having helped to create the situation with their bitter attitudes.

They are the finger-pointers. They have no mercy, no gentleness, no tenderness, no desire to change their behavior or to gently respond to and then help heal the one they've broken. Again, I've been there, done that and have had to go before the Lord and repent and cry out for His mercy to infiltrate my hardened emotions and to chip away at my hardness of heart.

The pattern I mentioned earlier is made clear to us in scripture. I read this one yesterday (I've been reading a book about grace that is literally changing me from the inside out, and I'll have to share about that later on), Hebrews 12:15: "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up and causes trouble, or many of you will become defiled."

I've seen this in my own life -- how I've been "defiled" (by another person's bitterness) and have then "defiled" others with my own bitter attitude -- and in the lives of others who either are the bitter ones hurting others or the broken ones who have been so denigrated that they now have no self-esteem. And they've been denigrated by other Christians, the ones we should be able to trust the most.

I was talking with a friend yesterday over lunch who feels like she just can't rise above her feelings of inadequacy to step into the place she knows that God has for her.

She has spiritual gifts, insight and wisdom -- wisdom that the church desperately needs -- but because of things that have been said to her, how she's been denigrated and made to feel lesser than, she has trouble pushing those opinions of others aside so that she can take hold of what God says in His word about who she is in Christ.

This friend, I found out yesterday, was put down by someone I know, the same one who continually made me feel as if I'd never measure up either.

She was made to feel as if she has no value -- and repeatedly -- simply by the words and actions of this other person who continually pointed out what he perceived to be her weaknesses, as if they were sin and as if he is the superior one.

And if he wasn't busy pointing out her weaknesses with his words, his body language and general demeanor made clear what he thought of her. She endured this for years, as did I.

And it's going to take times of prayer by herself and with others and quality time in the Word of God to break that yoke that keeps her bound, paralyzed and ineffective in those areas that she knows God has called her into.

She also talked about how her son is constantly self-depracating and feels as though he will never be good enough in the giftings and callings of God he has been given. He, too, was constantly barraged by the barbs of this other person, made to feel lesser than, made to feel bad about himself and his abilities (or lack thereof) daily, made to feel as if his efforts would never measure up.

This young man is stifled in his walk with God. He's at a standstill career-wise. He's hindered because of his view of himself. And it stems from what's been said by another, a bitter Christian who cannot extend mercy or gentleness -- because he doesn't possess it.

I tell of these struggles of my friend and her son, along with my own, because that's the reality of how deeply our words affect others. It's the reality of allowing that "bitter root" to grow in our hearts. It's the reality of that "defiling of many" that the scripture above warns us about.

We -- I, my friend and her son -- have been defiled by the bitterness of another. And I recognized awhile back that it produced a bitterness in me that essentially made me a carbon copy of this bitter person. I, too, became a finger-pointer. I, too, had great potential to destroy others' self-esteem.

I literally fell on my face and cried out to God daily over a period of about three months before I got set free from it. It still comes back up occasionally, as the Lord faithfully reveals to me some area of unforgiveness still deeply imbedded in my heart. And I have to then lay it at the feet of Jesus, asking forgiveness and doling out forgiveness, and trust the Lord to deal with it, leaving it behind.

It will happen (the defiling) when we allow bitterness to take root and then to grow and flourish on the inside. We will seriously hurt others with our harsh words and indifference, hindering them in their walk with God and in the ministry that God has called them to accomplish for His purposes.

And God takes that seriously.

If you're Christian and you've recognized that you've allowed a bitter root to spring up in your heart, that you consistently or even occasionally insult others with your words and actions and/or you dismiss others when they tell you that you've hurt them, it's time to take a hard look at whether you've allowed your heart to become hard.

Because there's a reason for that bitterness. You've been hurt deeply yourself, and there's healing, mercy and grace available for you, too.

It's up to you whether that cycle of "defiling many" will be broken.

Coming up: There's a remedy for the broken one and for the bitter one who does the breaking of another person's spirit. I'd like to talk about how we can recognize, approach and then take hold of this healing we so desperately need in the church so that we can banish a critical spirit and truly "esteem one another more highly than ourselves."

I know you are, but what am I?

2009-03-10T18:22:00.000-07:00

A reader posted the following comment on my most recent post, "Crusted over like a bad burn," about how destructive our words can be. I responded there but decided I'd like for everyone to read my response. Here goes:

Heard this song today, it brought to mind this post.

your words are more than writing on a page
they're in my mind, they haunt me everyday
your tongue is sharper than a blade
leave me alone, stop throwing stones
oh, don't ya know

like a razor you cut me
deeper than you know
the words you use are poison
they kill me one by one
slowly inflicting wounds that never heal
like a razor you cut me
you cut me

do you, do you even care to think about
the pain i have to bear
just stop, walk a mile in my shoes
how does it feel to be abused
oh, don't ya know

like a razor you cut me
deeper than you know
the words you use are poison
they kill me one by one
slowly inflicting wounds that never heal
like a razor you cut me
you cut me

"Razor" -DecembeRadio

Here's my lengthy response:

I picked up a book at the library recently that was released in the mid '90s called "In the Grip of Grace" by Max Lucado. I've read many of his books but never this one. I'm only a few chapters in but I have to say that I was struck by what I read in the first chapter. The book is based on certain passages in Romans that identify destructive ways of thinking we can all get caught up in.

One person is a hedonist, another a fault-finder and another works-minded. I saw parts of myself in all three and spent some time over the weekend to pray about it, because I want my life to exhibit grace and total trust in God.

The fault-finder was the one that struck me the most, because I have fought falling into that role.

For years I bore the brunt of a fault-finder's constant tabs on my life, ignoring his own sin and paying more attention to what he found wrong with me. I felt watched literally all the time -- what I said was scrutinized, what I chose to do or not do and why or why not, where I went and when I went and who I went with -- and I felt no freedom to ever, under any circumstances, make any kind of mistake.

I knew well that if I even showed a hint of weakness in any area I would pay for it. There would either be a lecture on how bad the perceived behavior was or just outright ignoring. There was always an opinion, no matter how hard I tried to be godly and to serve others. Nothing was ever good enough.

There was a constant tug-of-war going on in my spirit during those years, because he perceived all kinds of things about my life that weren't actually the case. Because he scrutinized my life constantly, he felt free to criticize me constantly. So if there was a real problem with my character or behavior I didn't want to hear it -- I'd been told over and over what was "wrong with me" although he really didn't know me at all.

So I built a wall that God is still dismantling brick by brick, even a year later. This is why I know how destructive our words can be.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue," we're told in Proverbs 18:21. It is like "a rudder," James says (3:3-5), a "deadly poison" (vv 3:8). We can't get around that. Either the words we speak to one another will be life or death. And what we say will produce something, because we are made in God's image and likeness.

I can say from experience that words spoken one to another can produce bitterness, and once a root of bitterness takes hold in the heart, it grows, because it's watered thereafter by every bitter word spoken and by the bitter thoughts of our hearts over how we've "been wronged" by another person.

It's terrible. And Satan knows what a stronghold this is.

We think what we say or even infer is harmless. It's far from harmless. Harsh, critical words and actions -- and especially as a habit -- break another person's spirit, causing them to throw up their hands, saying "I'll never be good enough for you, so I'm going to stop trying."
It produces frustration, feelings of failure and grief, while begetting more bitterness.

I also can say that when parents are bitter and fault-finding with others, their children will grow up with the same tendencies. It is a learned behavior, just like showing grace and mercy are a learned behavior.

Satan knows this and uses it to his advantage, using Christians to hurt other Christians, to break the spirit, to destroy confidence and foster feelings of inadequacy. That creates all kinds of issues in the daily interactions a person has with others -- at work, in church, at home -- in how we act and react to what's being said and done.

It determines whether we have the propensity to jump to conclusions. It determines whether we often make assumptions. And those things help to determine the course of our lives. That's the power of our words.

The good news is that we can choose today and every day whether we will foster a relationship with God and read His word. Doing this literally changes us from the inside out. What we read has the power to convict our hearts, and God has the ability -- when we come to him with a contrite heart -- to forgive and to heal and to restore those broken places that cause us to say what we say.

If we say there is no sin in us, we deceive ourselves, the Bible says (1 John 1:8). We're all capable of developing the kind of attitude that produces bitter words. We're all capable of hurting one another. And we do, with serious consequences.

With God's help we can reject that fault-finding mentality -- and thus the destructive behavior that follows -- and walk away from it free of its chains that bind us.

A word of caution: I also have to say that when a person has been continually exposed to the abuse of a habitual fault-finder, he needs to seriously and diligently guard his heart.

Why? Because bitterness begets bitterness, and it's easy to fall into step with the very thing that you hate the most.

A person may loathe the behavior of his fault-finding captor but will fall into the same fault-finding trap if not careful, because again, bitterness begets bitterness. The bitter feelings he has toward the one who hurt him, if they go unchecked, will cause him to begin to do the same thing, out of the bitterness that has taken root in the heart.

I'm also reminded of the scripture that says, "With the same measure with which you judge it will be measured back to you" (Matt. 7:2).

We've all got a long way to go in this area. I know I do.

Crusted over like a bad burn

2009-03-05T18:25:00.000-08:00

Continuing the series on the church's great need for humility and revelation concerning hardness of heart that has taken up residence in the hearts of many:

Last week I scalded my hand at work when the top of a container of soup I was carrying spontaneously blew off, sending the contents flying all over the hallway.

I heard myself saying out loud, "Wow, that really hurt," as I dropped the container and stood there stunned, parts of my face and hand burning like fire from the splatter.

Our publisher, who witnessed the mayhem, cheerfully cleaned up the mess and urged me on to the bathroom, where I could soothe the scald with cold water. I ended up sitting in there on the couch for an hour, feverishly trying to cool that burn on my fingers and palm with ice.

I tried two different kinds of burn ointment available here, too, for the next few hours, because there was a lot to get done that day. Both cooled the burn for an instant but left me wanting, and I left an hour early that day, because I could think of nothing else but finding a way to stop that pain.

It was relentless and tormenting, and the torment lasted long into the night. It even woke me at one point, and I had to apply again a burn spray I'd picked up after work that day.

The skin on the worst spot is finally beginning to heal, but it still looks angry, all puckered and crusted and peeling. And the bright pink skin underneath that has just been revealed today will need special care for awhile.

It's extremely tender. Unfortunately I think there may be a scar.

There's a definite parallel between a scarring scald from the spill of a boiling concoction and the wounds that burn deep into the human soul when the contents of a bitter person's heart boil over and burst forth onto someone else.

Because the soul and the spirit are not visible (like the ugly wound on my hand from that scald), the wounds inflicted upon the soul and the spirit aren't either. Likewise, the bitterness that resides in a person's heart also is not always readily visible.

Sometimes even he doesn't recognize it's there and may even deny that it's there, but the words of his mouth quickly reveal the contents of his heart. This is true of the words he speaks to others, and especially those words spoken (or even written) in haste.

Either way, that lack of visible pain I mentioned above makes us erroneously think that our spirit and soul hurts -- inflicted from someone else's harsh, critical words or even body language -- either don't exist anymore or have long healed over.

The truth is that all spirit and soul hurts, whatever the reason for them, have to be gently tended to through prayer and sometimes even counsel in order for them to heal properly.

A physical wound (such as the scald on my hand) that thoroughly heals may leave a scar, but it doesn't hurt anymore, and the torment is forgotten. Not so with spirit and soul hurts.

And this is why it is so critical for us as Christians to examine our hearts often so that we can adjust our attitudes before we end up wounding somebody else's spirit with the words we speak from a hard heart.

Some will deny that it's possible for the hearts of Christians to crust over and become bitter, even foolishly boasting silently that they are immune to Satan's "wearing down of the saints," which we know full well is going on day after day in an effort to, among other things, cause us to become immune to other people's feelings.

But it's obvious in the harsh way that people talk to one another -- whether it's here or at home or in the workplace or in another public setting -- that there's a serious lack of love among some Christians for one another.

It's also obvious that there's a lack of genuine concern for the way we may be inflicting pain on another person's soul with our words (Christian or otherwise), pain that can be crippling and can even last a lifetime.

The hidden bitterness of a person's heart -- the source of his bitter words that can do so much damage -- is immediately made visible, again, when he speaks forth bitter words toward another person, for it's "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45).

Like the scald I suffered last week that requires care for its healing, a wounded spirit that has suffered from someone's words can only heal when we ask the Lord to reveal the deep wounds inflicted by others that silently torment us and affect how we think, act and react.

The same can be said of those whose words reveal they are bitter and don't know it. Either way, the voicing of bitter words toward one another and toward our fellow man must cease for the church to function properly and then to thrive.

Next post: More on how we can recognize, approach and then take hold of this healing we so desperately need in the church, whether we're the bitter ones or the broken ones.

'Oh, that's just another Christian on a rampage about something'

2009-02-22T18:28:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in the last post a conversation with a friend, during which she revealed that the people who treat her the worst as a retail manager in Jackson inevitably are those who work at churches. She had a horrible time this past week at work at the hands of Christians. And she's a committed Christian herself and was thoroughly disgusted by what she experienced.

Demanding their way, even throwing out threatening and demeaning words, people sought to shame her into "giving them a better deal" on supplies or in giving them some kind of preferential treatment because "the customer is always right."

What's so bad is that they're doing this in front of others -- when Christians are meant to be the ones in our society who are publicly displaying humility and shunning self-righteousness, not puffing up their chests and demoralizing others in public.

One of my co-workers received a nasty comment on one of her blogs by a person who claims to be Christian. The uppity comment made it clear that the reader (who hides behind a screenname) thinks he/she is superior and has more knowledge on the subject.

What's most unfortunate about this is that while the Jackson Sun staff blogger is not Christian, she knows well that the one who made the comment on her blog claims our faith -- and that his/her comment was meant to be a direct insult.

What has gotten into us? How did that spirit of pride (and it is a spirit, an evil one) creep into our hearts and cause members of the Body of Christ to develop this idea that we have a right to insult others? Or that we ever should -- for any reason?

I can tell you: The non-Christian who writes that blog has no respect whatsoever now for the one who commented, because the comment was so demeaning. Her response: "Just another Christian on a rampage about something."

I hear this often, and there's a very good reason for it: Hifalutin' Christians who love nothing more than putting people in their place. That gives God no delight and certainly no glory.

Remember, He made His desire clear when He said that He "desires that none should perish but that all would have everlasting life."

It's highly unfortunate, because the people with whom we're hoping to have some godly influence want to get as far away from us and our God as possible -- because of people who wear Christianity as if it were a badge of honor, as if they've somehow earned God's love and now must show others just how wrong they are.

The non-Christians are the ones we're supposed to be interested in. But we shelter ourselves from them. Insane and totally counterproductive.

I've truly gotten more grief from Christians in this region than from non-believers since I started writing here about faith two years ago. That speaks volumes about heart attitudes and motives of those who would just love to see me fall.

One Christian reader once sought to chastise me, writing to me that "What you write here is opinion and nothing more." I thought to myself: "Um, we're on the same team here, or so I thought." Evidently we're not, because his intention is not to encourage me or even exhort me in the Lord but rather to demean and demoralize.

People don't want to be challenged. They don't want to hear that their attitudes are not right. They don't want to be corrected in any way, because they're hearts aren't teachable.

They flout their biblical knowledge in the public square but then miss the whole point of why we exist: To glorify God to the unbeliever and then to enjoy knowing God forever.

Next post: Isaiah 58 has a lot to say about haughtiness and humility, along with what God expects of us as we interact with the unbeliever.

Your knowledge alone will get you nowhere with God

2009-02-21T18:30:00.000-08:00

I've written recently about the hardheartedness I've observed -- in the way Christians address others, Christian and non-Christian, in public, sometimes using the media. And there's a very good reason for this mentality toward others: A lack of love for the word of God.

I say this because a person who abides in scripture, seeking to understand it and to be changed by it, is literally "transformed by the renewing of [his] mind." And that transformation brings humility and a desire to "esteem others more highly than ourselves." It also causes that person to desire to "build up" rather than "tear down" another person with his words.

Unfortunately I'm not seeing that going on in some who think they're displaying some kind of Christian witness and even chastise others publicly, even on this Web site and other blogs, with their biting, condescending words -- even using scripture as a means to "bite back" when they've been offended by what's been said in some way.

The truth is, when it all comes down to the wire and we're standing before God, all that will matter is whether we have borne fruit for the kingdom, not whether we've made clear with an attitude our "superiority" or some kind of self-asserted wisdom in some fashion.

What matters is not whether your haughty words, written in haste, make a point to make someone else feel small. God doesn't take delight in that. What matters is what you've done to show others the kind of love and compassion that He has, having done "unto others what you would have done unto you."

I'm struck by this passage of scripture in John 15, because it lays it all out there concerning what really matters -- living the kingdom life rather than just saying words that indicate you believe this or that.

"I am the^(A) true vine, and my Father is^(B) the vinedresser. ²^(C) Every branch in me that does not bear fruit^(D) he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes,^(E) that it may bear more fruit. ³Already^(F) you are clean^(G) because of the word that I have spoken to you. ⁴^(H) Abide^(I) in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. ⁵I am the vine;^(J) you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that^(K) bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not abide in me^(L) he is thrown away like a branch and withers;^(M) and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned."

Anyone who has ever built a campfire knows that it's the dry branches that lie on the ground that are used as kindling. They're not connected to anything that is supplying life anymore, therefore they're unable to bud and bring forth anything at all. They're disconnected to the source of life.

And so many Christians are in the same position, thinking they're connected to the true source of life because they can quote a scripture. All the while looking down their noses at others who either don't live their way of life or maybe even do but say something that offends their sensibilities.

Like the many dry branches I've gathered to get a campfire going, they too are dried up spiritually. How do I know this? It's evident in their speech -- and especially so when they're insulting people they don't even know, using a screenname to hide behind. They're obviously disconnected from the vine.

I was talking with a friend last night who was telling me how disheartening it was to hear the accusations and ugly words coming out of the mouths of people she was helping in her job at a big retailer in Jackson.

Those who gave her the most trouble -- publicly humiliating her when there was literally nothing she could do -- had either a Christian T-shirt on that displayed the name of his church or was a representative of a church who evidently purchases large amounts of office supplies with this retailer occasionally.

Representatives of Christ! They literally berated her in front of other customers when the fault was not her own. They were just unhappy with the way things turned out for them and seriously misrepresented the kingdom of God in front of others -- not to mention the fact that they tore her down because they weren't happy.

Disconnection to the Word of Life is killing the life of the church and its witness in the world. It makes people critical, harsh, unfeeling and uncaring, and they literally have no idea that, just like Samson, the glory of the Lord has departed. Yet they no doubt stand in a sanctuary every Sunday feeling good about their connectedness to a church and the way they've one-upped others all week with whatever knowledge they think they've displayed.

Next post: How the church can regain humility.

Where'd you get that attitude?

2009-02-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

Back to the series: (If you're just checking in, please go back and sift through the past 10 or so posts before you read on)

Over the past couple of years I've become increasingly aware of a pervasive attitude in the Body of Christ that has distressed and grieved me. It's an elitist, hard-hearted form of religiosity that has caused the church -- and by this I mean ordinary members of each congregation -- to lose its zeal for doing what it takes to win the world for Christ.

Before I qualify what I've said above, I want to say this: I know that there are many who love and serve Jesus with their whole hearts in our communities and in this nation, and I'm grateful for their commitment to Christ. I also know that we have a long way to go.

What I've observed -- a hard-hearted attitude toward non-believers and among believers of different denominations toward one another -- has grieved me for this reason: That hard-heartedness came from somewhere, and you can be sure it's not from God. It's worldly. And the church is not called to be living like the world, doing things the world's way.

We're called to follow Jesus' example: To do what we see the Father do and to say what we hear the Father say. True, Jesus had terse responses for some — and they were directed at the manipulative, hyper-religious ones cloaked in their own self-assured superiority, not directed toward the common people, those on whom He had compassion, who were "like sheep without a shepherd."

People who don't know the Lord spout venom in the public arena, feeling superior in their assessment of others who don't hold the same views, seeking to make them feel small with their biting sarcasm and harsh criticism. We see and hear this pervasive attitude every day on television, on radio, on the Internet, in magazines and newspapers.

But unfortunately that same attitude and modus operandi is heard and seen today in what's coming out of the mouths of so many Christian commentators and columnists -- only it's either directed toward non-Christians or toward others in the Body of Christ.

And because of their bad example -- they do have a huge amount of influence -- I come across Christians all the time whose attitude toward non-believers is not good. They think their bitter assessment of and attitude toward non-Christians is actually "being bold for Christ." They fail to remember that they, too, were once not Christian.

And it's not boldness they're exhibiting -- it's rudeness. And it's pushing people away rather than drawing them closer to having a relationship with God.

Those who don't hold to our views and our principles live their lives and make decisions based on what they know, i.e., what they've learned in the world, being taught to live the way they live by others in the world who don't know God.

So why are Christians foolishly expecting these same people in the world to stick to Christian principles in the way they live -- and then condemning them with our speech when they're not?

People live the way they live for a reason. Their ungodly way of life is influenced by the culture in which we live. If we're not doing all we can to turn the tide of that influence by entreating them to consider the gospel and taking real time to show them what it means to live the Christian life -- not shouting at them and about them over how evil and wrong they are -- then we're the ones responsible for the way our culture has become.

I talk with a lot of people -- in the workplace, in my neighborhood, in coffee shops and online -- and I come across many, many people who can't stand to be around Christians. They're not necessarily turned off by what Jesus has said. Rather it's the constant barrage of stones being thrown.

If we love people, we'll undoubtedly speak the truth about who God is and what He stands for, but we'll be doing it in love, not mimicking the world in our speech toward and about non-believers.

Next post: Our lack of love for those who don't know God is directly related to our lack of love for the Word of God. When we're captivated by scripture, which literally has the power to change us, we become Christ-like. And Christ came to "seek and save the lost." This song has been on my mind all morning and is the kind of heart cry we need in this generation.

This is the me I want you to know Part II

2009-02-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

So, continuing from where I left off a couple days ago: I am about to belabor the point, but please just stay with me here.

Like I said in the last post, my intention for sharing in this public forum about my personal walk with the Lord is to help readers understand my intentions in writing what I write for Faith Matters. Again, I'm holding off on continuing the series I started because I believe that if readers of jacksonsun.com know a little more about my walk with God, there's less chance that what I say here -- or my motives -- will be misconstrued.

I've found over the years that many, many people don't trust anyone who works in the media, regardless of what they write or how they write it. And it's important to me to develop a level of trust with those who read what I write. There's no other way to do that than to go a little deeper into who I am and what my motives are.

Just a sidenote: I actually have the freedom to write about anything I want to write about on Faith Matters, whether it has to do with church life, my spiritual life, current events or my personal life. And I will continue to write about what's on my mind.

I hope readers enjoy what I write and are edified by it. That's the goal, the purpose, the intent of writing Faith Matters.

In the last post I shared what God has spoken several times through the prophetic word about my calling: to be an exhorter. I'll add the definitions here for anyone who hasn't read the former post. To exhort is defined as:

"to urge, advise, or caution earnestly; admonish urgently; to give urgent advice, recommendations, or warnings."

I have had to grow into this calling, and I am sure that I will be growing into it for the rest of my life. I haven't tried to fulfill a prophecy but have stumbled into the role of an exhorter in several different ways while just trying to live a godly life. I may go into more of that later on in another post.

Like I said in the previous post, I'm not the kind of person that likes to be seen. I abhor public speaking because I'm not good at it, and although I help to lead worship at church every week, it is sometimes a real struggle for me, because I don't like being out in front of people.

When I try to speak publicly, I stutter, lose my train of thought and stumble over my words, and what I want to say never comes across the way I want it to. Occasionally people tell me they're surprised when they find out that I am uncomfortable being in front of others, because I am very outgoing. They say it looks natural to me.

I assure them that it's not. I have to "die to the flesh" every time I step up to sing or to say anything at all in a church setting or in a public setting.

I prefer to be doing things behind the scenes because, again, I'm not into being front and center. It's not my personality. It makes me uncomfortable. I am a copy editor and page designer by trade. I like to sit behind my desk and design newspaper pages, write the occasional story about travel and go home.

But God has other plans in mind for me beyond that copy editing role, and I have to be obedient to the call of God on my life and go with the opportunities the Holy Spirit brings to me. That involves writing.

I mentioned a long time ago on Faith Matters that I didn't go seeking to write a blog about my faith. I was approached by editors at The Jackson Sun about writing about my spiritual life, and after praying about it I chose to dive in.

My co-workers knew that I am passionate about God -- not religion or religious topics but about the God of the Bible -- and about matters of faith that pertain to Christianity and living the Christian life. That's why they approached me about writing a blog for The Jackson Sun.

All that to say this: I didn't seek to do this gig, and I don't want to come across as being a know-it-all. That's never the intention of my heart, and that's why I think that it's important for readers to know more about the real me -- to know that I want to honor God in everything that I say and do.

It's never my intention to appear that I know more than others, that I am above others or that I don't have room to grow in my walk with God or in any area of my life. That's why I share occasionally about what's going on in my life -- I want people who read this blog to know that I am constantly on a quest to be changed by God, more and more into the image of His son, Jesus Christ.

I also want readers to know that I am heavily active in a church where I am challenged to grow in God, to live out the destiny that God has for my life, to evangelize and to disciple others, to seek God earnestly and consistently and to be accountable to leadership.

Again, I say all that to reveal the real me -- not just the journalist who writes about church issues as I see them but the Christian who walks out my salvation every day like everybody else, "with fear and trembling" -- in hopes that the reader will see my motives and know that my intentions are pure.

I am often painfully aware that I have a lot of growing to do and always will, but God can still use me in a public forum for His purposes and His ultimate glory regardless of how long I've been a Christian, how much knowledge I have or how well I write.

Again, to belabor the point: My heart's desire for Faith Matters is always to glorify God, not to exalt myself. The purpose is to reveal who God is -- in relation to what the Bible says about who God is and how He operates -- along with the purpose of provoking thought, promoting discussion and edifying and admonishing the Body of Christ.

And I hope you'll keep reading and responding to what I write, because I have a deep desire to continue in what God has for me to do, whether it's writing Faith Matters or evangelizing, exhorting and encouraging people in some other manner.

I will continue to talk about my life, what I'm discovering in God and what I'm learning about God and His ways, along with what I see going on in Christian circles and my opinion about it.

Please continue to join me on the journey.

Next post: Back to the series.

This is the me I want you to know

2009-02-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I began to write about a destructive and self-seeking mentality that has crept for years undetected into the body of Christ, hindering it in its purpose -- an isolationist viewpoint, a "me mentality," a self-seeking way of life.

I would like to continue to write about this, but before I go any further with it, I want to make clear my reasons for writing this series.

Please believe me when I say that I am not posting this series to bring some kind of self-righteous condemnation on the church. I am well aware that I don't have a corner on truth and that I am in need of wisdom and understanding, which can only be found in scripture, in close relationship with God through prayer, in the counsel of elders and in keeping close relationship with those who are like-minded in a local church.

Therefore, I humbly submit the things I write here to the reader with one goal: To "consider how to stimulate one another to love and good works" as we are instructed to do in Heb. 10:24.

So before I continue with the series, I would like to offer some insight into who I am -- not related in any way to what I do as a journalist but who I really am as a person -- because I want you to know my heart. Everything that I say here on Faith Matters is directly related to who I am in my walk with God, and that translates into what's in my heart.

I believe that if you know my heart for the church and my deep desire for God's purposes to thrive in the Earth, there's less chance that what I say here will be misconstrued.

I'm belaboring this today, because I understand that it's hard to know where another person's heart is when you only know him through the written word.

Because most of the readership of Faith Matters doesn't know me face-to-face, it only has what I write here each week as a way to determine who I am, how I feel, my attitudes toward others, where I'm coming from and what I believe and don't believe.

And sometimes that's not enough because, again, it's hard to know a person's motives when you don't have face-to-face contact with him.

All that to say this: All I know is that God has called me to be an exhorter. He has spoken this to me in the prophetic word several times over several years through several different people. He has confirmed it in scripture that He has given to me over the years and in the increasing desire I've had to encourage and build up others in the faith and to admonish others in living the Christian life.

I have a deep desire to be a voice in the church and in the marketplace for God's glory. My name means "bright light, radiant spirit," and I fully intend to live up to my namesake, so that others can see who God is and how He operates -- and come to know Him.

But I haven't always felt this way.

When God told me several years ago, "be the exhorter that I've called you to be," I didn't even know what the word meant, so I looked up the word "exhort." Here's the definition of "exhort," straight from one of my constant resources, dictionary.com:

1.	to urge, advise, or caution earnestly; admonish urgently.

2.	to give urgent advice, recommendations, or warnings.

When I read that definition it stressed me out bigtime, because while I'm outgoing, I've typically kept quiet when it comes to speaking my mind in a public setting. And I certainly didn't see myself as an evangelist or anything close to a public speaker -- not even the leader of a Bible study or a Sunday School teacher, because my personality is to be quiet and listen, not to speak out or be in front of people.

Next post: I'm holding off on the series, because I want to tell you more about me, my personality, my journey and my walk with God. I'm hoping that will give you more insight into why I write what I write here every week.

Which is easier: To avoid non-Christians or to love them?

2009-01-26T18:35:00.000-08:00

On Friday night I called one of my neighbors to find out whether she wanted to have dinner so that we could celebrate the fact that she had made it through her first full week of working her new job.

She has had a tough time, juggling life with two kids on her own, getting child care set up so that she can work a full-time job. And starting a new job is never easy.

I've written about this friend before, because I absolutely cherish her. She started out as just a neighbor I saw ocassionally. She eventually started coming to the Bible study I have in my home. And a couple of months ago, she gave her life to Christ.

It has been amazing to watch the transformation of how she thinks and to see hope rising in her heart that her life can be different, that she has meaning and purpose, that she has the assurance that God will take care of her and her kids.

She's already experienced some powerful things, confirmations from God about making this or that decision, and has heard the voice of the Holy Spirit lead her to do certain things that have provided answers to problems and the determination to keep on keeping on when she feels hopeless about her situation.

Anyway, we ended up not at a restaurant but at the emergency room at Regional Hospital of Jackson, because she'd been very sick all day and was dehydrated and wasn't able to drive herself there. Her daughter was being taken care of at home, and her son was brought to the hospital awhile after we got settled into Cubby Hole No. 3 in the ER.

It was freezing in there, and she was in a lot of pain and was constantly dry-heaving or barfing pure bile. It was uncomfortable in there, and it was hard to watch her so miserable.

Much harder to watch was her little 5-year-old wiping his eyes as his mother was wheeled away in a hospital gown to get X-rays around 10 p.m. on a Friday night. I asked him if he was scared. He said he was, so I held him tightly, and we talked about what X-rays are.

It took a while to get the conversation going, but he finally started chattering about everything imaginable until his mom returned and was put on an IV for awhile.

Eventually he climbed into my lap and fell asleep. Then she fell asleep, and I sat in silence listening to patients moaning and machines beeping and alarm bells ringing in the other cubby holes that pass as rooms because of the hanging sheets that separate them from the hallway.

Pretty soon it was close to 11:30 p.m., but I found myself so glad to be there. I thought to myself as I held that kid in my arms, "this is the kind of thing that makes life worth living."

The time we met last fall was a pivotal time, because God opened the door for the friendship to blossom, which opened the door for me to talk about my life and my relationship with God and the hope and comfort that I receive from it. It also opened the door for her to become comfortable with me.

I'm not telling this story to toot my own horn -- I know very well that I don't have all the answers. I tell it because it demonstrates what happens when we as Christians open up our hearts and our lives to people who don't live as we do or believe as we do -- basically doing what Jesus has told us to do, what we were born to do, what really matters in this life.

I've been disheartened at how so many so-called evangelicals wouldn't know real-life evangelism if it bit them on the behind -- and even more disheartened at how although we are told that we need to start taking a personal interest in people's lives, so many of us simply won't. But we'll still call ourselves evangelicals, even though our "me-mentality" lifestyles are running contrary to what the word "evangelical" means.

Instead of living what they believe, so many "evangelicals" will just continue to rail against people who aren't Christian as if they're just trash, as if Jesus didn't come and die for them, too, rather than reaching out to people with the love of God and the mercy of God and the grace of God, even tending to their physical needs so that they can possibly then begin to tend to their spiritual needs.

There is a crucial need for the church to recognize that our lives are not our own and to remember what Jesus said (and I'm paraphrasing here): "If you try to hang onto your life -- for dear life, even -- you're wasting your time, because you'll just lose it anyway. But if you lose your life, and especially on my account, now that's when you'll find it."

It's a lot easier to just avoid and bash people who aren't Christian than to evangelize them. Evangelism takes time, attention and dying to self. And the bottom line is that we have lost our first love, and it shows in our complacency and lack of concern for those who have lost hope, who have no direction in life and don't feel that they have any purpose but to just live and die.

Next post: I'll delve deeper into why what I call the "me mentality" crept into the church in the first place -- because it is there -- along with how we can and must banish that way of thinking if we want to be told one day "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

'Oh my gawd!' she gaped, and I wanted to punch her

2009-01-24T18:38:00.000-08:00

I doubt I'll ever forget how my blood boiled the night several years ago that I ran into a fellow church member at Davis-Kidd Booksellers (God rest its soul -- another casualty of the fact that midtown long ago joined the ranks of the forgotten areas of this city. The DK, as we affectionately called it, was the best thing that happened to this town. It was a favorite hangout, and we mourn it to this day).

Anyway, the person I ran into in the cafe that night introduced me to the person with her as "Ellen Kimbro, who works at The Jackson Sun." A lot of people do this to me. I have no idea why. Anyway.

I knew within five seconds of meeting this woman that I would never be interacting with her again -- and that it would be my choice entirely. I literally wanted to punch her right there in the cafe, and that's not my nature.

I have no idea who she is and don't even remember what she looked like. But I know this: She was incredibly arrogant, and it was the first taste I had after becoming Christian of real, true small-town religiosity.

It left a bad taste in my mouth that night, and fortunately it still remains. I say it's fortunate because that bad taste helps me to remember that I must never, ever allow myself to think that I am above anyone who doesn't share my faith. Otherwise, I might start acting like her, and she was a poor excuse for a Christian.

She didn't say hello. No "nice to meet you." No, instead she said, "Oh my gawd!" in an exaggerated drawl, followed by, "I feel so sorry for you! Just how do you work with those people?" She went on to say something else, but I didn't hear it.

I just stared at her for a moment. I thought, "You don't deserve a response, lady." I politely excused myself and went on my way.

Did she actually think that her response to meeting me was appropriate? And is anybody on this planet good enough to actually breathe the same air? If they're not Christian, she likely feels they're not.

And that's unfortunate, because God didn't show her mercy only to have her turn up her nose to others, and especially others who don't live the way she lives or practice her faith or whatever.

I regret now that I didn't confront her right there in front of God and everybody. Somebody has to when people who claim to be Christian publicly display an attitude that is entirely opposite of how Jesus would have responded.

What she didn't understand is that, No. 1, the people I work with -- whether she likes their opinions or credos or line of work or morals or whatever -- are most decidedly not dirt under her feet; and No. 2, the whole point of being a Christian is not to downgrade and insult others who don't live like we do but to be a loving example, to literally be the hands and feet of Jesus on the Earth today.

That is, after all, why he took off back to the Father and sent the Holy Spirit to help those of us who would come along later to learn the ropes, to literally do what He did and to say what He said. He never even coined the name "Christian." That happened long after He ascended.

They were called "Christians" because they were "like Christ," i.e., doing what He did and saying what He said and displaying His character.

I wonder how many people in the world today look at people who say they're Christian and admire them, saying, "Wow. There's something to that Christian thing. They live just as Jesus lived."

What the chickie baby in the DK failed to understand that day is that Christians are not called to isolate themselves and never spend any time with non-Christians. Rather, we are called to give hope to the hopeless, to be a light in darkness, to be a living example of who God is -- and to do that primarily so that people who don't know God will want to get to know Him -- because of us.

Somehow we've lost our primary focus in the church. Somehow we've become elitist, hifalutin,' full of pride.

We are not called to hole up and only congregate with our own kind. That produces no growth whatsoever. We are called to die to ourselves, to "take up your cross daily and follow me." That means death to self, period. But we are a spoiled bunch in America, and we think that this life is all about us.

If we don't ever get around anybody who doesn't share our way of thinking, we'll never impact this world for Christ. But chickie baby doesn't care about that. She just wants her happy little Christian life, free of those who need to see Christ the most. And she is literally missing the whole point of why Jesus came in the first place, to draw people unto himself.

And yes, "those people" that I work with that so appall her are valuable to God, and He wants them to know Him. And besides all that, I wouldn't want to work anywhere else in Jackson.

Truth is, a light can only really be detected when there's darkness all around and it shows up and begins to shine. Evidently she's afraid of the dark. That's not the mark of someone who follows Christ. We go into dark places and bring light so that others can see who the true light is.

Next post: Continuing with this series: What saddens me the most is that so many in the church don't ache for those who are hurting, don't grieve over lives broken by destructive patterns and habits and aren't concerned about whether those they see every day in the grocery store or in the workplace or even in their own churches are being taught anything at all about Jesus. If they did, they would make some kind of effort. How did that mentality creep into the hearts and minds of people in church?

Talking out of both sides of their mouths

2009-01-23T18:39:00.000-08:00

I am scheduled to write online for about three hours tomorrow morning (late morning on Saturday), and I'll be able to delve a little deeper into the topics I've been trying to get to for awhile, namely, the questions I asked at the end of a post awhile back, along with a new observation. It will likely take more than one post to address all of these things, so it will become a series.

The questions and the observation are:

1. How can so many in Christendom isolate themselves from people who don't know God and then actually say they're evangelical? Or were we called to shut ourselves up from everybody else who exists in this world who doesn't call Jesus "Lord" and then "eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die" -- only we die in Christ? Because that's the way many of us are living. I'm going to explore here the reasons the church may have become this way and how it can break free from this mentality -- so that the church can grow spiritually and in number.

2. Do Christians who have unsaved relatives actually treat them as badly as some would have me to treat the non-Christians I talk with online and see every day in my workplace and neighborhood? It's downright ridiculous if they would, because while we're not "of the world," we are still "in the world," and we have a job to do -- a job that involves talking with people who are non-Christian. That job is to show forth the love of God and the glory of God with our actions and way of life; to tell people who don't know Jesus that He is the only way to heaven -- and why; and to grow spiritually so that we can eventually begin to disciple others (non-negotiable if we want to say we're Christian but largely ignored by most Christians I've met). I'll delve deeper into each of these points.

3. And furthermore, if I went around every day picking out one person just to accost him and then to rudely announce "You're going to hell, you're evil and this is why, and you'd better repent or else!" then how far would I actually get in convincing anybody that they need this God in their lives? I'll talk about why this approach doesn't work, never did work and never will (besides the fact that it's just rude and insensitive and not in keeping with God's character or his ways.)

4. The isolationist way of life that many Christians lead comes straight from the pulpit in some churches and decidedly from conservative radio hosts heard nationwide. It also can be widely read in many a newspaper column, where arrogance and superiority reign supreme. It should not be this way, because it is hurting our witness, is eons away from the character of God and was never the way God would have had us to act -- not in a newspaper column, not on a radio show, not in a blog, not in an online forum, not in a personal relationship with another person. A person who says he's Christian but downgrades others with his speech -- and especially publicly -- is talking out of both sides of his mouth, and "blessing and cursing shouldn't be coming out of the same mouth (my paraphrase of scripture)." We're told time and again in the Bible to watch our speech and our attitudes toward others, and that most decidely includes those who don't share our faith. I'll share some scripture and personal stories that demonstrate just how damaging a haughty, arrogant attitude is to the cause of Christ.

Most likely I'll hit on that last point first.

I hope you'll stop by tomorrow afternoon. I'll check for comments before I'm off the clock tomorrow and try to respond. Until then, I hope you have a relaxing Friday evening.

Giving up is not an option

2009-01-22T18:41:00.000-08:00

I just posted the following response to a reader's comment on one of my posts from a couple of days ago and decided that I want everyone to read it, so I'm posting it here to day as well in a longer version (I couldn't say all I wanted to in the comments because of the dang 2,000-word limit.).

Either way, I do this because this is a real-life example that demonstrates well two different viewpoints among Christians on interacting with people who don't believe in God and/or hold to the tenets of the Christian faith.

Here's the context: The comment to me (by a reader whom I appreciate very much, by the way) encourages me to stop wasting my breath on another Jackson Sun reader who makes a point to taunt me every once and a while about Christianity.

Here goes: Good morning! Good to hear from you. I can't say that I will ever give up hope that the seeds that I plant here will eventually reap a harvest in his life. The Holy Spirit could remind him 20 years from now of something I've said and create a desire for God in his heart.

I know that I don't need to "cast my pearls before swine," but at the same time I will not shrink back and ignore it when he posts a comment. I know that he wasn't actually asking me an honest question but was rather only insulting me with what he asked.

But I don't care whether he thinks I'm an idiot. I'll gladly continue to look like a moron to him and anybody else as long as I can continue to witness to him with what I write here, whether it's in response to his insults or something that I say to someone else.

I want my life to be a living testimony of grace and the simplicity of devotion to Christ — to be an example so that others can recognize their need to be rescued from sin, which has the very real potential to destroy us in every way, body and soul.

I just don't give up on people, because at one time I would not listen to reason. And eventually I could no longer resist the gentle tug of the love of God. He literally pursued me relentlessly until I finally gave up running from God and embraced his forgiveness, which I did not deserve by a long shot. He loves Smith, too.

And I really believe in continuing to plant seeds in those who seem like hopeless cases. There is no hopeless case as long as Jesus is on the throne, and I have to trust God that when one plants, another will water. I know that humility is not exactly his strong suit, but Jesus said that "nothing will be impossible with God."

The other scripture that comes to mind is that "he who is forgiven much loves much." That's me. I know that for which I've been forgiven, and it ain't pretty. And I love God all the more for showing me the kind of grace that I know I didn't -- and still don't -- deserve.

And that also can be Smith one day, if we continue to plant the seeds and offer generous amounts of love and are willing to be there when he wants to talk -- about whatever. My previous experiences have shown me that day could come.

It's happened to me several times that when someone who disagrees with my creed is in crisis -- but knows that I care about him -- he will seek me out. In fact, I can't count the number of times that's happened, and each time, each person who has sought me out has allowed me to pray for him, even right then.

And that's just another seed planted. Besides, if we refuse to plant, there will never be anything planted in a person's heart for someone else to come along and water one day.

I honestly appreciate your concern, though, and I hope that God will eventually give you the words to say to Smith to help him recognize his need for God.

My answer to a reader's question about prayer

2009-01-20T18:42:00.000-08:00

First: I have commented on "Plane down, prayer needed" and on the most recent post as well.

Next: After a new doctor that I sought out on my own ordered X-rays of my neck and shoulder in Memphis yesterday, I am now scheduled for an MRI tomorrow, again in Memphis. Evidently, there is more that needs to be done, after all, especially with my neck. So while it may be something more serious than I'd like, I am very encouraged, because now I actually have hope that we might get to the bottom of this, and I can get my life back.

On topic: Near the end of last week, someone asked me on Faith Matters why I asked for prayer for those whose plane had just gone down in the Hudson River moments before.

Here's the question, and my reply follows:

CharlesLeeSmith (not his real name, by the way, but the name of the late prominent atheist), wrote this: "Why? How many people does it take for prayer to effect change? How do you know?"

My reply:

I finally have a moment to reply to what you've said here about prayer.

I'm not going to list a whole bunch of scripture for you here, because that's a waste of time in this conversation. And I won't go into all of the answered prayers I've experienced, or the prophetic words, or healings and miracles that I've heard of, seen and experienced for myself that are the result of prayer.

I will say this about prayer and its power, whether it's one person praying or many, but I will have to go about it in a roundabout way first, so please bear with me:

We as Christians believe that we are not in a fight with everyday people but with the enemy of our souls, Satan, and with what the Bible calls "principalities and powers, rulers of the darkness of this world and spiritual wickedness in high places."

I know you don't believe in Satan, but humor me here, please, because I'm answering your question.

And while you don't believe in the Bible, I do and base my beliefs on what it says. Therefore, my answer is valid here, whether it's a flight of fancy or not, because I'm making an explanation.

My understanding is that the words "principalities" and "rulers of the darkness" and "spiritual wickedness in high places" refer to ancient demonic powers that rule over and influence different parts of the Earth, different regions and even different cities; and the word "powers" refers to evil rulers on the Earth.

That said, our prayers as Christians not only are petitions to someone we believe has the power to change things but also are spiritual warfare against an enemy who must defer to that one who has the power to change things on our behalf. Again, I know you don't believe any of that, but this is what I believe, and I'd like for you to hear what I have to say.

When we as Christians pray -- and pray en masse about something -- the prayers have a significant effect on what is going on around us. That is *not* because God hears so many praying about something and says "Oh, OK, now they're serious about this so I'll answer."

It is, in fact, because when we pray -- and again, especially, when we pray en masse -- the atmosphere around us and around others is literally changed, because those demonic powers that may be oppressing us in one way or another must defer to the will of God and the power of God.

Also, when we pray about a crisis that we literally have no power to change, (i.e. a plane that makes an emergency landing in a deep, icy river) we are humbling ourselves, and humility moves God.

Yes, it is an act of faith to pray and to believe that scripture is truth and is inspired by someone who is otherworldly, but that's my answer, based not on fact but on faith and, more specifically, faith in scripture and its power.

I appreciate the fact that you've brought this up here. Take care, and I'll talk to you later.

Next post: At some point I'll have time enough to continue the discussion about how we are to treat non-Christians. Specifically: Conservative columnists -- local and national -- who spew venom about others and take a haughty attitude toward non-Christians in what they write won't have my ear, because they're not exhibiting the kind of humility and fruits of the Spirit that make a person of faith a Christian.

Stop making people feel small

2009-01-13T18:45:00.000-08:00

Completely off topic and current and having nothing whatsoever to do with me personally except the conversation that ensued:

I just had a conversation with a co-worker who was telling me about a reporter being cyber-bullied with demeaning comments about her and her work.

Why do people feel that they just must make others feel small? What drives a person to ruin somebody else's day with their rudeness?

People don't have to live this life to please others. I certainly don't and won't, because it's a fruitless pursuit. No one will ever be good enough in anything they do to please some people.

And let me tell you, I tried to do that people-pleasing thing, too, for most of my life, trying to be the picture of perfection in every way all day, every day — and after all that work evidently failed miserably anyway, later being told so in a long lecture on how badly I blow it all the time in this, that and the other.

What a waste of my time.

So when I hear about people dogging somebody else with their critical spirit it gets my feathers ruffled, because I know how it feels to be ruthlessly criticized.

It's darn near impossible to live up to the expectations of others. I'm finding in this life that many people in our society don't give other people a chance to grow -- ever.

They're demanding and harsh with their speech and hard-hearted and arrogant toward others who are trying to find their way, find their niche, learn and grow, whatever you want to call it when a person is a rookie in a trade or station in life and is learning the ropes.

Even if a person isn't a rookie, he still is criticized by those who look down their noses and enjoy spreading the word about their low opinions of others, gloating.

Would these same prideful folks enjoy being criticized? I can't understand this mentality.

Life is hard enough, people. If you have a need to make others feel small, think twice about it, because "pride comes before a fall" and "you will reap what you sow" — and unfortunately for you, it will likely be a humbling experience that you won't soon forget.

According to the critical people who cyber-bully, everybody in this messed up world is supposed to be seasoned in every way possible in everything they do all day every day -- even if they're rookies -- or the critical accusers and naysayers think that they and their work are garbage and say so.

I say that's garbage.

And furthermore: "Treat others the way you would like to be treated." Simple. Learned in kindergarten and so quickly forgotten by the grown-up.

Nobody has it all together in every way every day in every circumstance. Nobody is an expert in everything. And nobody -- no matter what your profession or station in life -- likes to be constantly nagged or pushed around and told that they're an idiot.

People are people — imperfect but worthy of respect regardless of how unintelligent you may think they are. Unless criticism is constructive and kind, it has absolutely no effect whatsoever on the recipient except to make him feel small.

And that's a waste of everybody's time.

Next post: When I have more time I'll continue with the series on how we should be treating non-Christians.

Man, I love these people so much

2009-01-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

May seem off topic but it's not in the least:

Yesterday as I sat quietly at my desk pounding away on my keyboard, I suddenly had an acute awareness of all that was going on around me.

It was like a zoo in here. People were interacting and thoroughly enjoying it.

Discussing. Joking. Laughing. Bouncing ideas off of one another. Planning. Involvement in lively debating about how best to do this or that, what matters and what doesn't, whether a certain lead works in a story, whether a layout or headline best displays the information we're wanting to convey on a page;

Missing or meeting a deadline, brainstorming on story ideas, taking a call or transferring one, calling out a question, looking through some reference.

Nobody had any idea that I was enjoying just observing them.

A former co-worker who moved away brought her baby into the newsroom, er, Information Center, and pretty soon the baby was being passed around the room and cooed at by every member of the staff. Even curmudgeonly people melted on the spot.

Others were tickety-tapping away, holding the telephone receiver between chin and shoulder during an interview. They were looking through paperwork. They were concentrating intently and then being interrupted five seconds later.

Some were sighing as they hung up a phone and looked back to their monitors. Others were dashing to a printer or to answer a ringing phone.

I realized just how loud it gets in here. The television mounted to the ceiling was blaring, and even it was drowned out by the voices of people talking with one another.

I smiled to myself as I noted each person's personality and quirks and how easily we all interact with one another. I enjoy seeing people enjoying themselves. I think I can say we all genuinely enjoy one another's company.

And all that regardless of what we as people, or even as journalists, believe or don't believe about a million and one things.

There's a mutual respect for one another that supercedes how any of us may feel about the way that another lives his life. Yet most of us also are very outspoken and passionate about what we believe on all kinds of levels.

But this ease of communicating and even commisserating at times is not because we as a newsroom staff are just "all business" with one another. We're a family. And I suspect that if one of us was in trouble, another would come to his aid.

That's because we make the effort to get to know the person, not the ideology or the spiritual leanings or commitment to a lack of any kind of spirituality. The understanding of what a person believes and doesn't believe comes to light as you get to know him.

But we enjoy knowing one another and working together as a team because we care about each person we work with individually — regardless of whether we care for his lifestyle or his primary ideological leanings.

I say this to illustrate a point. I asked some questions a few weeks ago at the end of a post relating to how Christians are to be treating those who don't believe in our God or in our way of life.

My second question asked: "Do Christians who have unsaved relatives actually treat them as badly as some would have me to treat the non-Christians I talk with online and see every day in my workplace and neighborhood?"

Next post: More on how disheartened I feel as a Christian when I see people treating one another like they're dirt under their feet while online and even in person -- all the while doing it while wearing that label I wear every day, too: "Christian."

If you've found this page you're doing better than I am

2008-03-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

If you've made it to the blogs at jacksonsun.com you are to be commended. I can't even find my own blog since the redesign was launched. And I'm on staff.

I'm hoping this will post.

Since I've been injured, I've really missed blogging in a big way and also hearing from readers of The Jackson Sun, but I still haven't recovered well enough to work yet.

Rest assured I'll be back soon. Life will be good again. I just know it.

Meanwhile, please continue to pray for me (and I mean this very seriously) because I have reached a desperate place wanting this season of my life to end. I've cried many tears in the past two and a half months.

I seriously need some answers about this condition with my neck and shoulder, and I need for the healing to take place so that I can continue on with my life as usual.

Right now I can't do anything but get dressed and go to physical therapy. Typing is torture. And there are still questions unanswered about why I'm still in so much pain.

I'll keep you posted. I hope you can get used to navigating the new jacksonsun.com. Thanks for your prayers everyone.

Unable to work right now -- sorry about that

2008-03-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. I'm just now able to sit up for a few minutes after my procedure on Monday. Hope you're all doing well and are blessed. I'll be OK eventually. I'm sure of it. But for now I'm still in pain and can't work.
I'll keep you posted.

Still in pain; will have to hold off on posts again

2008-03-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

Folks: I'm having another procedure done tomorrow and will be unable to post for awhile. I'm having a very hard time right now doing much of anything. I'll let you know what happens.

Please pray for grace and for the wisdom to know what to do next. If I'm able I'll post your comments. Please share what God is doing in your life. Tell us about your experiences knowing God.

This wife's anger drove her to do the unthinkable in church

2008-03-07T04:40:00.000-08:00

Completely off-topic, unbelievably provocative and terribly grievous:

As I was proofing news pages for today's paper last night, I was grieved to read the following Associated Press brief from Newport, Tenn.:

"Police say a Newport woman who fired a gun inside a church is in critical condition after she wrecked her vehicle trying to flee officers.
Newport Police say 52-year-old Janet Compton walked into a crowded Hilltop Baptist Church service on Wednesday evening with a pistol and approached her husband, 53-year-old Michael Compton.
They are going through a divorce.
Police say she fired one shot into the floor before pulling the phone line out of the wall. She then began to pursue him as he ran out of the church ..."

OK. This is a real news brief. No lie. It's in today's paper on 4A.

This is the kind of crazy thing that happens when Christians refuse to pluck out a root of bitterness that grows in the heart.

We think we're above this kind of behavior, but obviously this woman has given place to the spirit of murder. Obviously, if she is Christian, she's not allowing the Holy Spirit to take complete control of her life.

Yeah, I know that sounds like an understatement, but people will do unthinkable things when they allow hatred to take root on the inside.

Who knows whether there's been some terrible injustice in their marriage? Either way, it doesn't matter. She evidently feels justified, but what matters is allowing the Holy Spirit to take over when we feel out of control. Nothing justifies murder.

It would have saved her a whole lot of pain and heartache (she wrecked trying to get away and is in critical condition), not to mention the church members who feared for their lives. And now she's been charged with attempted first-degree murder.

You know she never dreamed she'd do something that crazy when they walked down the aisle. It sounds too simple, but again, that's why we have to continually submit our thoughts and our will to the will of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Next post: We'll have to see. I'm still in a lot of pain and will be out of commission for a few days after the outpatient procedure on Monday.

We act and react out of emotions that have been colored by our experiences in life

2008-03-06T05:15:00.000-08:00

Before I get to today's topic: Just found out about an unusual support group meeting going on next week at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Jackson. I'm encouraged to see it. Scroll to the bottom of this post to learn more:
On to today's topic:
A friend was telling me about something appalling she'd seen a mother do at a pageant in Milan in which my friend's young daughters were competing. She and her husband were so offended by what had taken place, they were tempted to say something to the woman. But they held back, figuring it would do no good to scold the mother for her bad behavior.

That conversation led to a discussion about how difficult life can be in a fallen world, where people are prone to make assumptions, jump to conclusions and then behave badly in public.

"What makes life so hard," I said, "is that we all have separate brains, all individually influenced by the things that have happened to us in life, what we've seen others do and say and how we perceive other peoples' actions."

The way we grow up and the things we experience and endure color our view of other people and their behavior and cause one person to see a situation completely differently from another. That inevitably causes problems.

It's just the way things are, and we have to learn to deal with it. But that got me to thinking: Because we -- both men and women -- tend to act and react out of our emotions (those same emotions that have been affected throughout the years by our experiences), we also tend to judge another person's actions and reactions without considering that they may see something a different way for a very good reason.

That doesn't mean that we have to agree with how they feel or act or that we should justify their bad behavior based on what they've been through or even been taught.

But as Christians we have a responsibility to look beyond the fault to the need deep in someone's heart. We live under the command that we must forgive continually -- Jesus said "seventy times seven" times if necessary -- and actually choose to forget the wrong that has been done or even the insensitive attitudes or wrong motives of others.

We don't like to hear this. We want to feel justified in holding back forgiveness from someone else, as if we're entitled to our pride and arrogance, as if we have a right to lord unforgiveness over someone else's head -- as if we ourselves have no sin.

We want to feel justified in treating others with disrespect, just because they don't hold to our worldview. But Jesus never said "If a person doesn't believe as you believe, then you have the right to blow him off" or "If a person has a different opinion about something and you disagree in an area, you don't have to forgive him but have a right to treat him like a dog and call him an idiot."

What He did say, recorded in Matthew 5:38-41, is this: "You've heard it was said 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, don't resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also ... And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles."

That ain't easy, no matter how long you've lived or how godly you think you are.

What He did say is that if we don't forgive one another, "your Father in heaven won't forgive you" (Matt. 6:14-15) and "forgive and you will be forgiven" (Luke 6:37).

That's heavy.

Next post: I'm still in a lot of pain from this neck injury and will have another procedure next week that will keep me in bed for a few days. This "let patience have its perfect work" stuff is making me very, very impatient.

Support group information I mentioned above:

"A Better Tomorrow" is hosting an information session for Iraq war veterans and their families at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday at St. Mary's Catholic Church. A Better Tomorrow is a local support group for those with mood disorders.

The topic is "Health Challenges of the Returning Iraq War Veterans: Identifying Symptoms and Learning About Available Resources to Return Them to Health and to Start a New Life."

Some of the questions to be answered include "What are the war veterans' health needs?" "What help is available?" and "What services are available for them to start a new life after recovering from such health challenges as depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and drug and alcohol dependency?"

The meeting will have a group presentation with a discussion to follow.

The group will meet in the Lourdes Room. To get to the room, drive past the entrance to the sanctuary and follow the blue signs that take you around behind the school to a building where the room is located.

Committed Christians need counsel, too -- and lots of it

2008-03-05T05:18:00.000-08:00

A reader sent me the link below about how valuable transparency is among believers. It complements what I've been writing about, and I think it will help to drive home the point about how critical it is for us as believers to be good listeners to our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Read this post by Rebecca St. James

For a while now I've been hammering on the desperate need in the church for real, meaningful discipleship (i.e. time-consuming effort) in the church. Discipleship and committed friendship is needed for new Christians and for those who have been in this thing for a while as well.

This kind of commitment to other believers -- to the Lord, actually -- goes way beyond a few hours on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights at church. It goes beyond those surface acquaintances we all have. It requires something more of us than surface friendships.

I've been hammered on recently here by those who have insinuated that I believe our works make us pleasing to God. Nothing could be further from the truth. Saying that our walk with God requires something of us is not saying that we have to work to please God.

Rather, what I am saying is that this Christianity thing requires something more than attending church -- actually establishing meaningful relationships with other believers (and especially new believers) and then being willing to maintain those relationships and teach others what we've been taught.

Any way you look at it, that takes time and effort.

Obviously we have to be led by the Spirit. We can't be all things to all people. But we can be sure that God has someone in mind for each of us to be discipling. And it will always be that way.

That is going to require some work on our part. We can't get around it -- and we really shouldn't want to.

If our hearts are really His alone, we'll have the desire to see to it that others who have committed to follow Jesus get the counsel they need to grow in God, again, whether they're new believers or committed Christians who have been in church for years.

If that desire is not there, that means that we haven't fully died to self, which is what Jesus commanded when He said "Take up your cross and follow me" and "If anyone puts his hand to the plow and turns back, he isn't fit to serve in the kingdom."

If we're not willing to do what it takes to grow in God so that we'll be ready to counsel others, we need to take a hard look at ourselves and consider whether we really are His.

I read a scripture the other night that really struck me and has stuck with me all week. It's in 1 John 2:6 and it says this: "The one who says he abides in Him (Jesus) ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked."

That scripture covers all the bases. It's not just about avoiding sin. Jesus was all about discipleship, and if we're not, we're not "walking in the same manner as He walked."

Next post: It's entirely possible to allow God to change us from being "me-minded" to "discipleship-minded." The first step is acknowledging that we're self-absorbed, and that takes a good dose of humility.

More and more, God is using those foolish things to confound the wise -- and especially those in church who think they're wise

2008-03-05T04:49:00.000-08:00

Breaking with the plan for today:

Have you ever noticed how God always used people in scripture who were totally unqualified by the world's standards? I don't think God has changed, and I see Him doing this in my church.

People are stepping out in faith in areas in which they thought they were not gifted, and the result is nothing short of astounding.

The best part is that while the church is being edified in a new way, the person who is doing the edifying at one moment or another is finding out that God can use him in new ways, and it's building his faith.

A reader recently commented on things she sees going on in her church as they gain new understanding that church is not an event or a place, but people. Church is people "doing life together".

What encouraged me so much when I read the post was that I had heard the exact same thing at my church the night before. That says to me that the Holy Spirit is speaking through His people and is moving the church as a whole in the direction He wants it to go.

This year in the Hebrew calendar is 5768, which represents the Year of New Beginnings.

And the idea of a new beginning signifies a new season in the life of the church. Transition is not comfortable and we don't like delay. The Israelites didn't either.

The Israelites were uncomfortable with the transition from Egypt and delay when Moses went up the mountain to talk with God and stayed there for a long time. Their impatience caused them to sin, making a golden calf to worship the same old way they did in Egypt.

We look at our churches and say "This thing is not moving. Things aren't happening. I'm outta here." But that's short-sightedness.

Look at David. How long did it take David to take the throne after he was anointed to be king? How about Joseph? He had a dream that he would be ruling over his whole family, but it didn't come to pass the way he expected it to, and it didn't happen in a flash.

In fact, there was great difficulty in his journey and many setbacks. The same can be said for David. Why do we expect it to be any different for us?

Many in the Body of Christ have not been willing to wait for God to do things in His timing. People have left churches because things weren't happening fast enough for them. Or maybe they weren't installed into ministry quickly enough for their liking.

But we as individuals cannot "despise the day of small beginnings." (Zechariah 4:10) I read this paraphrase of that scripture on the Internet: "Steps that seem to lead nowhere can actually take us in God's direction" -- which says exactly what I wanted to say.

We tend to look at the big and grandiose in our churches and think "This is where it's at." But that's not necessarily always the case.

Different churches are gifted to do different things, and even though you or your church may be doing what society considers "small things with small beginnings," you may actually be right in the center of God's will for your life.

Next post: Back to the commitment thing I discussed a few days ago: So let's say someone has displayed strong faith and is fully committed to the church. He's still bound to experience difficulty in life and even to be "tested by the refiner's fire." He needs our compassion and attention as well -- for as long as it takes to bring him through his trial. How many of us are willing to do what it really takes to help?

The drive-thru approach to discipleship -- even friendship -- is not effective in the least

2008-03-02T07:13:00.000-08:00

Continuing with the discussion from a couple days ago about how many Christians have a long way to go in our care of other believers (and please just hear me out and don't be offended as you read this post -- if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it):

I appreciate so much what a reader said in the comments on Friday about the church's short attention span when it comes to those in our churches who are struggling physically, mentally or emotionally, or all three for that matter.

If you haven't yet read what was said in the comments on Friday, please scroll down before reading on. It will be worth your while.

This is not meant to be an indictment against the church but a gentle reminder, so again, please take it that way. If you're actively discipling someone or are truly endeavoring to be sensitive to other people in church as they're working through difficult times in life, you'll consider this post preaching to the choir.

Read on anyway.

There's something I've heard a few times from different people over the years that really gets my goat when it comes to either discipling those who are young in the Lord or even just being a friend to someone who is struggling in life and can't quite find the strength to get beyond his emotions or circumstances in what we -- in our haughty, self-righteous way -- think is a "reasonable amount of time."

"They're just trying to get attention," I've heard people say as they dismiss another believer's personal pain or difficult circumstance. "They could get over it if they really wanted to. They should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get moving."

Yes, if a person is just interested in getting attention (and I'm not talking here about a sin issue but a character issue), there is a time to discuss it with him gently and to encourage him to seriously take time to pray about it and see what God would reveal to him.

But the truth is -- and it sounds trite but oh well -- that we haven't walked in their shoes. We haven't experienced their personal pain or grief or challenges in life that have either made them the way they are or have enabled them to remain where they are in life or in God, even to their detriment.

And we need to, in light of the word of God and by the leading of the Holy Spirit, take time to help that person continue to grow in God without being hypercritical of his bad habits or lack of faith or inability to be as holy as we think we are.

In Ephesians 4:1-7 the apostle Paul encourages us to "walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing one another in love ... grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift."

I don't see a whole lot of that attitude being displayed in Christendom, and the so-called Christian pundits whose sharp tongues criticize others constantly on radio and television and in newspaper columns don't help the situation but rather have helped to create a culture of self-righteousness that basically says "If you can't run with the big dogs, get out of the pack."

That leaves out every one of us who has any kind of character flaw or weakness at all (and that's everybody -- the self-righteous ones are just unable to see theirs).

All that aside, unless we're willing to die to self and take the time to be part of the solution in somebody's life (and it takes a lot of time with some people, sometimes years), then we have no business criticizing him and rather should take a hard look at why we're not willing to obey Jesus' command to disciple others.

Next post: So let's say someone has displayed strong faith and is fully committed to the church. He's still bound to experience difficulty in life and even to be "tested by the refiner's fire." He needs our compassion and attention as well -- for as long as it takes to bring him through his trial.

A friend has died, and we'll be feeling the loss for a long time

2008-02-29T15:48:00.000-08:00

One of my co-workers, Melvin Donahue, died this morning after a long battle with cancer. He'd been out on short-term disability for a while and had come back strong, happy to be at work again.

Then the disease came back. I still can't believe it.

Every month, certain employees at The Jackson Sun are recognized for their commitment to excellence and are nominated for the "Big E," which stands for Excellence. The recipient receives a giant silver-plated "E" to display on his desk. It's the envy of his co-workers. Read on:

A few months ago, Melvin was nominated for the Big E. Melvin was a quiet person, never seeking the spotlight, so it was especially nice to see him recognized. Everyone in the entire room stood to applaud him, and as I turned with the crowd to face him in the back of the room, I noticed he was wiping away tears.

Pretty soon, I was, too.

Melvin was always at the office before dawn, and many early mornings when most of the building was still dark, we'd chatter as I brewed coffee, sharing what God was doing in our lives, asking for prayer from time to time, discussing the goodness of God despite this crazy world we live in.

It may sound trite, but I honestly never, ever saw Melvin without a smile and an encouraging word. He had a genuineness about him, a true kindness, a real godliness that shone through.

I hate that he's gone. But the Bible reminds us that "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord" (2 Cor. 5:8).

I had been alerted that this was coming, and thoughts of him have entered my mind several times over the past couple of days. I've prayed for grace. I knew he was in serious pain.

As I poured my coffee this morning in that little nook nearby the advertising department where we always talked, I thought of Melvin, and this scripture entered my mind: "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints" (Psalm 116:15).

Although many in his family are aching with grief today, they'll find comfort in the knowledge that Melvin is experiencing things right now we've only dreamed of -- seeing the glory of God with his own eyes, understanding things even this morning that he's never understood before.

Now that he's not stuck in this time/space continuum in which we live, the possibilities are literally endless.

Next post: I'll get back to the discussion about what it means for Christians to really care for one another.

Weakness isn't tolerated well in our society

2008-02-29T06:03:00.000-08:00

You'd think that sitting around at home for five weeks in pain with a lot of questions about my condition and no real answers would send me into a downward spiral.

While it has been -- and still is -- a severe testing of my faith and a real physical challenge, going into a downward spiral emotionally hasn't been the case at all. I will probably share at some point a lot of what happened during those five weeks that gave me tremendous amounts of grace and hope I needed to keep me from going there.

Unfortunately I'm not out of the woods yet. I'm still in pain and will likely have another procedure on my neck pretty soon. Read on:

But God has seen me through other things that had me down -- physically and mentally -- for months, and I believe He'll see me through this situation, too. It's the waiting and wondering that are so difficult.

Still, there have been long periods of time in the past when my circumstances did send me into despair and hopelessness. I'm starting to find that this is not uncommon among Christians -- we just do a great job of hiding it when we're struggling emotionally.

It can be debilitating, literally. But struggling is no crime, and yet it can go on for months with no one knowing how we're really feeling inside, mainly because we don't like to appear weak.

We don't like to be transparent about how we're really feeling because we're full of pride, thinking that others will think less of us if we're not "strong in the Lord" in one area or another.

We worry that we'll be a downer and that others will get tired of our "complaining" if we continue to struggle and then continue to voice our need for continual prayer -- and to explain why we need that prayer.

I've sometimes gotten the feeling that others can't abide weakness in me, kind of like "Look, we're Christians. We're happy in God, full of faith, trusting God in every situation, standing strong in the midst of turmoil, no exceptions."

I understand that, but it's easier said than done. All hell breaks loose in one area or another, and we're reminded again that we are "but dust." And then it's tempting to throw in the towel and get angry with God and angry with others because we don't have control over what's happening at the moment that's causing all of the anxiety or personal pain.

I've been frustrated in the past when I've been given a pat answer when seeking help and voicing my worries, issues, struggles, fears, whatever. It seems as Christians we tend to get tired of listening when others don't seem to be able to rise above whatever circumstances they're dealing with.

Fortunately, God doesn't.

Next post: This is an area in which we all need to improve, being willing to listen to another person pour his heart out -- really pour his heart out -- and then being willing to pray consistently and see him through his struggle.

New and improved video is online

2008-02-28T12:40:00.000-08:00

Quick note: Please scroll down to view the new and improved video on the post from Wednesday, courtesy of my online guru friends at The Jackson Sun.

A Daily Dose of God is the Best Medicine Part III

2008-02-28T05:45:00.000-08:00

FYI: Still working on getting that video I posted yesterday brightened so that you can actually see my face. It'll be posted later on this afternoon. Until then:

In the past couple of posts I highlighted how serious the problem of depression is in America and how numbers of those who say they're depressed have skyrocketed since our grandparents' generation.

While I've had seasons of depression I've never sought antidepressants, because I knew that when my circumstances changed my feelings would change.

I understand that some people have chemical imbalances that cause them to be depressed, but others don't, yet the number of people using antidepressants to cope with their pain is higher than ever before.

I would submit that not everyone needs antidepressants and should seek counsel to find out which category he fits into. But in addition to that I've found that seeking counsel from those in church leadership or from Christian mentors, along with time alone and time spent reading my Bible, has curbed depression and given me hope.

I'm not typically an unhappy person, but life can get you down. That's especially true when disappointments come, but Scripture says that God is "the lifter of my head Who changes my countenance" and that He "turns my mourning into dancing." (Jeremiah 31:13)

I've asked for prayer at times. But I've also found that when I've gotten away by myself for a couple of days and sought the Lord earnestly, He's met me every time and I've had peace in the midst of my worries.

I wonder whether we just want a quick fix because our society has conditioned us to believe all our problems can be remedied with a pill.

Often what we really need is a good dose of optimism and hope, and the best place to find that is in the pages of the Bible. And yet we neglect it, forgetting that it holds the power to heal our emotional wounds and make us whole.

We're more apt to read a book about God or about the Bible than we are to read it for ourselves and find what we need -- a word of hope.

Psalm 40 says this: "I waited patiently for the Lord; He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. ... your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!"

It's impossible to read those words and not find hope in them knowing that Scripture is inspired by God.

But note the first verse in Psalm 40: "I waited patiently for the Lord..." We want our pain to go away immediately. We want an immediate answer from God when we are struggling, and it just doesn't work that way.

Next post: Not only do we not want to wait patiently for God to bring us through times of depression, we also resist brokenness and the transparency required to talk through our issues.

I've recorded a short video message for you to view here today

2008-02-27T06:22:00.000-08:00

A friend helped clean out the trunk of my car while I was stuck at home waiting to find out what was wrong with my shoulder and found my camera buried under boxes of SlimFast, blankets, books and other stuff that unfortunately accumulates in my trunk.

This is a new camera I've only used a few times, and most recently to shoot photos at Tishomingo State Park in Mississippi in December for my most recent story. You can see those photos at http://orig.jacksonsun.com/outdoors/index.shtml

I remembered that it has the capacity for video (it's newfangled for me) and thought I'd try it out and record a message to my readers since my shoulder was locked up and I couldn't type.

Read on:

Because I don't have the original at work today (unfortunately it's on my laptop), it's a little dark, but I hope to have a brighter version tomorrow.

I just can't do much typing today.

quality="high"
type="application/x-shockwave-flash"
bgcolor="#000000"
width="360" height="280">

Next post: I'll continue the discussion about God's Rx for depression, along with my experiences learning patience these past few weeks.

It's alive! Being incapacitated for five weeks is a pain in the neck

2008-02-25T17:11:00.000-08:00

Despite the long hiatus: After several days of lying flat on my back, unable to even get out of bed by myself, we'll see how much I'm able to type for now without aggravating the disc problem in my neck.

I have prayed this past week like I've never prayed before, and because I've been forced to sit still -- sometimes lie still -- I've spent a lot of time reading the Psalms and other parts of the Bible, entrusting my heart over and over again to the Lord, not to mention my physical condition.

I'm sure my prayers have sounded like a broken record by now. It's been five weeks since I've sat at my desk at work, seven weeks since I started experiencing excruciating pain. That has been very hard to deal with. Read on:

But I guess the most frustrating part of it all has been the waiting and wondering. Waiting to get in to see the doctors. Waiting to see what would happen through three weeks of physical therapy. Waiting for the MRIs. Waiting for the results of the MRIs to find out if it was really a shoulder problem or a neck problem.

Waiting to see another doctor so he could stick a giant needle into my spine. Waiting for the medical records to finally make it to the insurance provider (that's the No. 1 thing that has made me more anxious than even the pain). Waiting for the pain medication to kick in.

Waiting for night to become day and for day to become night as I've stared at the ceiling flat on my back, unable to get out of bed at all. Waiting for someone to lift me up so that I could eat. Waiting for someone to help me lie back down. Can you tell I've been obsessed with the pain and the waiting?

I have a whole new appreciation for people who live with chronic pain and also for the caregivers who see to their needs every day.

I want to say a sincere thank you to all of the readers who have sent along well wishes and have sent up prayers. Those prayers, along with knowing how much you care, have gone a long way to promoting my recovery and success.

And I want to thank some people for making sure I got good care and for finding out what's wrong and helping to fix it: Dr. Steven Brown, Dr. Justin Brown and their staff at Brown Chiropractic Clinic; Dr. Harold Antwine and his nurses at Bone & Joint Clinic; Tom Johnson and his physical therapy staff at Bone & Joint Clinic; Dr. Roy Schmidt and his staff at West Tennessee Pain Specialists; and massage therapist Dorene Avritt, LPN, LMT at Aquatherapies.

There are others at Bone & Joint Clinic whose names I don't know who worked me in to see the doctor after the tornadoes demolished the Channing Way area and also others who worked to get the medical records out the door in time.

The nurses went way out of their way to get five weeks' worth of doctors notes to the right people (and there were a bunch) and also to get the ball rolling with other needs and questions. The Bible admonishes us to give honor where honor is due, and they work very hard and should be commended.

I still have a significant amount of pain, so I may have to have another procedure. That means more big needles and possibly more days of staring at the ceiling immobilized so that it can do its work.

But this I know: There is a God in heaven who heals. "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He's watching me."

Next post: We'll get back into that discussion from a few weeks ago about depression and God's Rx for alleviating it, but I'll also be expounding on what I've learned about myself and others during my recovery from the disc problem.

New post: Got results of the MRIs

2008-02-13T18:55:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all for well wishes, prayers and posts this week. Have two bulging discs in my neck. Will have procedure.

Please pray for grace. I'll still be out for awhile. Never had so much intense pain in my life.

Blog's on hiatus for awhile

2008-02-05T11:00:00.000-08:00

Folks: No blog entries until I get better. Hadn't even thought about it, but even having a friend type while I'm dictating is technically like still being on the clock, which I'm not.

Check back over the next couple of weeks for new entries. Readers are welcome to continue commenting. So discuss amongst yourselves.

Curb depression with a daily dose of God Part II

2008-02-04T06:35:00.000-08:00

I cited an AP story yesterday that indicates that women who are active spiritually lead happier lives. Today I'd like to cite another article that indicates just how bad the problem is.

In the Dec. 24 issue of US News and World Report, a headline caught my eye "Get Healthier and Happier; You May Need a Lifestyle Fix as Well as Antidepressants." Because I've had periods in my life where I was less than happy about where my life was going, I read it with interest.

"My disease lives in the corner of my mind, sometimes sleepy enough to let me enjoy a little optimism, but ever ready to ruin a day, or a week, or a year."

That quote is from a 73-year-old man from Pennsylvania.

When I read that quote it really distressed me for that person and for people who suffer this way, because I've never experienced that kind of depression.

I've gone through seasons when I felt hopeless because of things that happened in my life, but over time I returned to a joyful existence, so I'm unable to relate to the 73-year-old man from Pennsylvania quoted above, but I got me to thinking how serious this depression problem is in America.

Consider these statistics: "About 70 percent of people who successfully beat one bout of depression can expect to face another" the story says, and it continues: "Today's 20-somethings have a 1 in 4 lifetime risk of experiencing depression's hallmark black mood, joylessness, fatigue and suicidal thoughts compared with the 1 in 10 risk of their grandparents' generation."

Those statistics are alarming. And I think that the godless society in which we live is not helping matters. You can read the entire article by clicking here.

Next post: Some may need antidepressants, but in my own experience time spent alone with God and counsel from others did the trick every time.

Stats show a link between well-being and a relationship with God

2008-02-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

I've left a quick comment on yesterday's post. Wish I could write more but I have to make myself avoid typing at this time. I'll soon be posting a video message for my readers.

In the previous post I wrote about how depression can be caused either by chemical imbalances or circumstances in life, or both. But regardless of what triggers depression and how we choose to treat it, the ultimate answer can still be found in God.

I've known people who've had clinical depression who discounted God completely as a remedy, even though they claim to believe in God, even the Bible. I've known others who don't believe in any type of therapy or use of antidepressants, believing that if you just read enough of the Bible you'll be changed.

I'm somewhere in the middle, recognizing how God can use both intensive prayer and discussion along with consistent and frequent quiet time to heal our hearts. I don't want to dismiss antidepressants because I've never been clinically depressed, and don't know what that's like.

Having said all that, I'd like to share some findings from an AP story I read recently about women and depression, and how a relationship with God enables them to cope with depressing circumstances.

According to a story by the Associated Press: "Women who stop being religiously active are three times more likely to suffer generalized anxiety disorder than women who have always been religiously active," researchers report.

The story goes on to say this: "In contrast, the researchers found that men who stopped being religiously active were less likely to suffer major depression compared with men who had always been religiously active.

"One's lifetime pattern of religious service attendance can be related to psychiatric illness," study co-author Joanna Maselko said in a prepared statement. She is an assistant professor of public health at Temple University.

Maselko and her team analyzed data from 718 adults who shared details of their religious activity in youth and adulthood. They found that a majority of the respondents changed their level of religious activity between childhood and adulthood. The data is published in the January issue of Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology.

On the Web: The American Academy of Family Physicians has more about spirituality and health.

Next post: Your lifestyle apart from religious activity can make a huge difference in whether you feel depressed, according to an article in US News and World Report. I'll share some findings.

Coming up: I will be sharing some of my experiences with depression and how my relationship with God carried me through.

Fight depression with a daily dose of God

2008-02-02T06:42:00.000-08:00

I recently posted guest columns that touched on "spiritual depression," but today I'd like to focus on another kind of depression (and it can go hand in hand with spiritual depression) -- the kind that keeps you in bed long after you've gotten a full night's sleep, the kind that can make you listless and discouraged, giving you a tendency to isolate yourself from others.

I've been there, and I hate it. It's debilitating.

It can be caused by circumstances or chemical imbalances. In my case, circumstances over the past several years have devastated me at times, leaving me struggling to keep my head above water for weeks at a time.

Each time, the Holy Spirit taught me, showing me why I felt the way I felt, showing me why things have happened in my life, preparing me spiritually for my destiny in God, comforting me in a way that no other person on Earth can.

Throughout the years, I've cried out to God, sometimes praying morning, noon and night with little contact with others over a period of weeks. During those times, I spent hours in my Bible, immersing myself in it because I knew that it would produce life in me -- even if I felt nothing, even if I felt numb (which I did).

And if you are there right now, it's exactly where the enemy wants to keep you. It can hinder Christians from seeking after God for guidance and restoration and, worse, from recognizing their full potential in God and His plan for their lives.

Next post: I'll share some stats, and eventually my own experiences of having been healed emotionally by God of wounds that weren't so apparent on the outside.

Don't resist the metamorphosis God wants to take place in you

2008-02-01T05:47:00.000-08:00

A couple of months ago a friend forwarded a newsletter to me from Rick Joyner, the leader of Morningstar Ministries in North Carolina. Joyner is a prophetic voice in the body of Christ and pastors a church.

This message is about change -- our need for change and how our resistance to change will not only hinder us personally as Christians but also hinder the body of Christ. The idea of what I'm getting at comes from Ephesians 4:16.

"Under his control all the different parts of the body fit together, and the whole body is held together by every joint with which it is provided. So when each separate part works as it should, the whole body grows and builds itself up through love."

I've been meaning to post the link to this message for a long time because it spoke volumes to me when I sat reading it on a lunch break one day in my car.

It'll take a minute to get into this message because it's long, but take the time to read it all the way through. If you don't have time now, come back to it, because it's timely and, I believe, crucial for us to understand.

Read this message by Rick Joyner by clicking here and then please share what you think.

Next post:

We can either judge a situation or try to make it better

2008-01-30T19:23:00.000-08:00

In yesterday's post, I described conversations I had in an ER waiting room in Jackson. I'd met a single teenage mother whose infant had serious medical problems. All it took to start a conversation with this girl, who was obviously distraught, was to ask her why she was there.

"So what are you in here for so late at night?" I asked."It's my baby" she said.

She went to tell me about all of her baby's medical problems, none of which were cureable -- treatable at best. Basically the baby was not going to get better and would probably die at a very early age. The mother didn't act like I was intruding and seemed to be glad for the company.

"I'm not trying to pry," I said, "but where's the father?"

"He's no longer in the picture" she said, "and I'm living with my parents."

That started a whole new conversation with this girl and it opened the door to talk with her about her relationship with her parents, the baby's father, and ultimately God.

She was struggling with all three, although she was grateful to have her parents and grateful to have her baby, if only it was for a short time. Life had been rough. She'd never expected to be pregnant at this age, never expected the guy to walk away, never expected to have a child with a terminal illness.

And her parents sure never expected it.

The discussion we had that night was deep and meaningful. It was more than just wishing someone the best. It was God.

Although I'll probably never know whether this girl pursued a relationship with God after that conversation, one thing I do know -- a seed was planted.

Next post: Don't resist the metamorphosis that God wants to take place in your life -- it may just give you that boldness you need to talk to people you don't know.

Note to self: Witnessing in Cracker Barrel doesn't necessarily yield positive results

2008-01-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

I left a comment for a reader on yesterday's post, so please take a look.

In the past couple of posts I've given examples of talking with people in uncomfortable situations in unlikely places. Those encounters were positive and fruitful.

Today I want to tell you about a not-so-nice witnessing experience I found myself in at Cracker Barrel a couple of years ago.

There I was enjoying my breakfast and reading the morning paper. Little did I know that moments later I would sit dejected by the angry rebuttal of a complete stranger.

At some point during my breakfast I looked up to see a woman standing in line to be seated. She looked unhappy, very unhappy, and when I noticed her I felt strongly that she needed prayer -- and that I was supposed to ask her if I could pray with her.

"Great," I thought. "That lady doesn't want to talk to me or anybody." Of course, I felt like a moron and sat there and argued with myself for at least five minutes about whether this was God prompting me to talk with her.

But the more I tried to ignore it, the more it gnawed at me. Finally I gave in.

I left my seat, thinking about how stupid this was going to look and sound, but I had no choice in the matter. I would rather be humiliated than miss an opportunity and disobey God. And boy was I humiliated.

"Excuse me" I said. "May I ask you a question?" The lady just looked at me. I went on, "I noticed you standing here, and I felt like God spoke to me."

No response. "So anyway, I felt like I was supposed to ask you if you needed prayer," I sputtered, looking away.

The response was immediate and crystal clear. "I don't want your prayer!" she exploded, in front of a long line of people waiting to be seated.

With that I apologized and slunk back to my seat with a red face and hid behind my newspaper. I have no idea where she sat.

I sat there wondering whether I had just missed it big and felt like I had intruded. But I know that feeling that I get when I'm supposed to do something -- and to ignore it would be to disobey.

Was God testing me? He may have been, to see whether I would do something uncomfortable when it counted. Her response indicated that something was going on in her heart, and who knows whether my intrusion affected her thinking that day. She may have not wanted to be bothered. But I couldn't take a chance on missing out on what God may have wanted to do that day, no matter the outcome.

It was humiliating for sure, but I would rather be humiliated in a public place and do what God prompted me to do, because a seed was planted, and the rest was up to Him anyway.

Sometimes it is so hard to step out of your comfort zone and approach someone you don't know, knowing you may be rejected. But would I do it again? Absolutely, because somebody has to. Otherwise the light we're supposed to be shining is hidden behind the walls of a church building.

Consider what Jesus said in Matthew 5:13-16:

"You are like salt for the whole human race. But if salt loses its saltiness, there is no way to make it salty again. It has become worthless, so it is thrown out and people trample on it.
You are like light for the whole world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid.
No one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; instead it is put on the lampstand, where it gives light for everyone in the house.
In the same way your light must shine before people, so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven. "

We need to take it literally, even if it means being humiliated in public. A seed was planted that day, and it's up to God to send someone else to water it, not me.

Drama in the ER is Worth the Wait Part II

2008-01-29T06:21:00.000-08:00

Hey folks. Sorry about the coding problem today. Should be able to read the entire post now. Please try again.

Over the past couple of days I've been trying to drive home a point with my experiences in waiting rooms: If people matter to God, they should matter to us, and where we encounter people -- whether in an emergency room or a grocery store or even at church -- shouldn't determine whether we take notice of them or their needs.

The problem is, we're often in our own little world, taking no notice of what's going on around us just because we're off running an errand or doing some menial task that brings us in contact with strangers.

But that's exactly how God gets us out from behind the four walls of the church and into the world, where all the hurting people are. Read on:

See, the teenage mother whose baby had encephalitis and the drug abuser's brokenhearted mother I mentioned in the last couple of posts probably never dreamed they'd end up talking with a stranger in an ER waiting room -- me.

They were concerned about their immediate needs, and they should have been. They were in crisis, but I wasn't, and they didn't just need to encounter someone who is only going to make small talk and pat their hand and tell them "Everything will be OK, I just know it."

Because those are just empty words without something like God and His power to back them up.
What they do need in a time of crisis is a real hope, a real sense that somebody else sees their pain and wants to alleviate it. And that requires us to respond when sometimes we'd rather not be bothered.

That takes courage, but at the same time, what was the worst thing the teenage girl was going to do? Scream at me and tell me to go away?

That would have bothered me, but it wouldn't have been the end of the world. But if I hadn't spoken to her, she would have sat there alone fearing the worst, possibly wondering if anybody could relate at all to her personal pain.

I was able to talk with her about several areas of her life and about her lack of a relationship with God -- and how that affected what she was going through at the time. Best of all, I was able to relate to her that the Lord wants relationship with her, that He sees her needs and wants for her to trust Him.

And there are people like her walking around every day hurting like that. And no matter how uncomfortable it may be, somebody has to reach them. If we say "somebody else will do it," it may not get done.

Next post: In the ER I got a positive response when talking about God with complete strangers. That wasn't the case at Cracker Barrel.

Believe me, if I were interested in the approval of man, you'd know it already

2008-01-27T07:31:00.000-08:00

I'd like to post this exchange between a reader and me. I'm posting it here because I believe it's important to show how I feel.

I usually indicate that I'm not angry when I post a response to someone, because, in fact, when I'm responding, I'm really not angry. But today I am.

Either way, here's the comment by an anonymous reader, and my response follows. Here goes:

Dear Jackson Sun,

In the past, you felt it wrong for any Church to treat other churches wrong. Your comments told us readers about how much that upset you, even in Churches that say they don't practice love but don't practice it on all the members in the same way. Hey, "they've "GOT TO" to love us Christians but they don't have to LIKE us Christians"??

WOW!!!

Then a guy from the Church of Christ informed us all how his Church viewed as being female Christians in Christ, (as if some of us didn't already know) telling us "indirectly" their unrightly divided TRUTH, that male Christians in Christ are GREATER! felt females in Chris should shut up, but ath the male Christians are free to speak up, that is, as long as males in Christ submitt to the doctrine of Male Christians, aka: Campbell and Stone.

Then they put the heat on you, as many "CULTS" might also do, by contacting your boss or sending email, and for what reason? To force you to submitt to what you don't believe: Yes or No or Maybe or Not Sure?

Then "Jackson Sun" posted this:
Quote
" Let's support Skyline church of Christ's efforts to educate believers"

Well, either we are for or against the right truth.

I have decided that maybe it is best for me to stop posting comments on your blog.

If we don't stand for something then we'll FALL for anything.

Here's my response: I appreciate what you've said, and I understand what you're saying. I would say this in response, and again I appreciate what you've said and why you've said it but I disagree completely with your assessment of what I've said and who I am:

I'm not going to allow bitterness toward others to take hold in my life, period. I don't care who they are or what they've said to me.

Besides all that, I know people in churches of Christ who don't believe I'm hellbound. And for the ones who do believe that, I'm honestly unconcerned. If they're bent on believing it, it's their problem, not mine.

I'm not an argumentative person, therefore that kind of thing won't come out in my posts. It has nothing to do with being one way one day and another way the next day.

If you have a problem with churches of Christ then by all means say what your problem is with it. But I'm not here to downgrade a church affiliation or denominational tie of any church, whether you think it's a cult or not.

If I think that a church affiliation is a cult, believe me, I'll say it. And I won't be doing it anonymously, either.

I don't have bitterness against people who don't believe the same things I believe, therefore I'm not going to be voicing bitter comments and posts about people who don't believe the same things I believe.

I don't have bitterness against people who don't like me because of what I believe. It bugs me sometimes, but I'm not bitter about it and I don't have the desire to argue with people about it.

We can't force others to drop their doctrine, no matter how much we disagree with it -- and believe me, I do disagree with it on a lot of levels. *But we really shouldn't hate them when they won't.*

I'm honestly not trying to sound glib, but evidently you *are* bitter, or at least that's what your post here indicates. And I'm sorry for that, because bitterness toward others for what they believe or don't believe is like a cancer, and it will eat away at your joy and cause you to spread that cancer of bitterness.

If you disagree with the teachings of the churches of Christ, by all means say so.

If you think that I'm pandering to some group by saying that I appreciate the fact that somebody in a church in Jackson is doing something that is very good for our community, you would be wrong.

This town is obsessed with competition, and it has crept into the church. Beyond that, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

If I encourage someone in his good choices -- whether you agree that he's a Christian or evil for what he believes or whatever -- then I'm either told that I should be ashamed of myself for telling about someone else's good deeds toward their neighbors *or* I'm told that I don't say enough about all the other churches who are doing good deeds.

I'm not interested in pleasing people, I'm interested in pleasing God. And that goes for what I say here.

Otherwise I would never have revealed anything about my personal life and personal worship style -- and spiritual gifts and belief in healings, creative miracles, signs and wonders, deliverance from demons, praying in tongues, dreams and visions, word of wisdom and prophecy in church and even in public -- because, believe me, it's certainly not popular to be what the church calls "charismatics" around here and actually live it in public without being ridiculed.

But I'm used to that by now and not afraid to be criticized for what I really believe, and you can be sure that I'll say exactly what I believe here and won't be pandering to one group or another to gain man's approval.

I need to be completely honest here: The church needs to get angry about something that's earth shattering, not this kind of thing.

Next post: We need to be less concerned about arguing and more concerned about getting people saved.

Doctor's offices and ER waiting rooms provide a captive audience

2008-01-26T13:38:00.000-08:00

Since I'm barred from typing right now, one of my friends is typing for me and allowing me to dictate. Bless her heart!

I noticed the other day in an orthopedist's waiting room how quiet the rest of the patients were as I talked with a lady who was visiting the doctor -- as was I -- to have a shoulder injury checked out. You can read my conversation with her in yesterday's post.

It reminded me of other opportunities I've had to talk with people in the Emergency Room.

A couple of years ago, a friend and I took her son to the ER at Jackson General, and I ran into the most interesting people. It was super late, and since we had to wait three to four hours to see a doctor, the was plenty of opportunity to talk with people.

One lady was there because her drug-addicted son had relapsed, and she was on the verge of tears when I approached her. "I noticed that you were crying," I said, "and I thought I would ask if I could pray."

She was grateful for the attention and the prayer and she told me about her life and her son. It was heavy stuff. Some of it was hard to hear. "What in the world have I gotten myself into?" I thought as she talked of things I've never dreamed of dealing with.

But I took a deep breath and prayed with her, and I know it made a difference, no matter how much I stumbled over my words that night. I'll never know the outcome. But I know that God honors prayer, whether it sounds good or not.

An hour later after reading through a couple of magazines, I noticed a young girl. She looked worried. I was tired of reading so I decided to move a few chairs down and ask her what she was there for. Turns out she was a new mother, only 16 -- a single mother. Her baby had encephalitis and a whole host of other problems.

Next post: It was late and I had to work the next day, we were exhausted and the boredom was maddening, but that one conversation with that teenage mother was worth the whole lousy trip.

Sometimes people don't need conversation -- they just need to talk

2008-01-25T05:16:00.000-08:00

Folks: I'll be back this afternoon to check for comments.

I spent an hour waiting in an orthopedic surgeon's waiting room the other day and talked with a lady who had recovered from polio. She can walk but was in a wheelchair to make things easier that day. Seems the wear and tear of having to walk with a metal crutch all these years has taken its toll. That's why she was there that day, she said.

The way she and her adult daughter argued good-naturedly amused me as they cussed under their breath about having to do paperwork, dropping pens on the floor and having to pick them up, and having to wait so long to get called back.

We talked for about an hour about everything on the map after the lady noticed my stack of U.S. News & World Report magazines I'd brought along to make the wait more bearable.

She said to her daughter, "Grab me one of them U.S News and World Reports!" Her daughter said, exasperated, "Mother! Those are hers!"

But I had been hoping for the opportunity to talk to them anyway because they cracked me up and told her to take as many as she wanted. "Are you political?" she asked, and then launched right into a discussion of all the presidential candidates and what she thought of them and then asked "Now just what are you anyway, Democrat or Republican?" and "I love those shoes. Where'd you get those?" and then told me she'd hurt her shoulder -- all in one breath.

I told her she was in good company.

I knew I was going to like this lady the second she went after that magazine. She has spunk. The daughter, with her cap pulled down squarely over her eyes, pulled a sandwich wrapped in cellophane out of her purse and ate it right there in the waiting room at 9:30 a.m.

Then she asked for my newspaper and got down to business with the ads, interrupting us occasionally with an "excuse us please" to show her mother some item in a sales circular that she needed to pick up soon.

They were like two peas in a pod and just a joy to talk with.

People in there were insanely quiet -- and it's a big waiting room. I guess they probably felt like we had enough to say for everybody in there. Anyway, this lady really was a dear, and I was kind of disappointed when they called us back to separate rooms to see the doctor.

Next post: Waiting rooms provide a captive audience, even when you're not intending for it to be that way. People eavesdrop, which is fine with me when I'm talking about God. In fact, I've had some of my best conversations with people about God in waiting rooms.

Real men teach what they know to a younger generation

2008-01-24T13:21:00.000-08:00

On my way back from physical therapy the other day I was listening to Nick Pappas, director of Youth Town of Tennessee on the Dan Reaves show on WNWS News/Talk 101.5 FM.

Pappas said something that was tremendously encouraging, especially in light of the need for male mentors to curb the violent crime problem among youth and young men in our city -- which I harped on for days a couple of weeks ago: At least 20 men from Skyline church of Christ in Jackson have volunteered to become mentors at Youth Town.

Pappas mentioned that these are retired professionals who want to volunteer their time to reach these at-risk young people who are our future workers, parents, citizens. And their lives and faith walk are worth our time and attention.

Kudos to Skyline's commitment to put feet on their faith and to be mentors and make disciples.

I also put a brief in our newspaper last week and online about the upcoming Life On Purpose conference sponsored by Skyline. It's coming up in the next few days -- two nights at the Carl Perkins Civic Center -- along with men's and women's get-togethers, and it's for people of all denominations to come together and connect with God.

If I remember correctly, the theme is grace. Let's support Skyline church of Christ's efforts to educate believers and again, to be "doers of the word and not hearers only." Call Skyline to find out more.

Next post: An hourlong chat in a doctor's office waiting room this week with another patient got me to thinking about how precious people are -- and how easy it is for us to reach out to them, especially when they're in physical pain.

Coming up: Thank God for friends! I've dictated, she's typed, so the blog will go on for the next couple of weeks while I'm recovering.

Here's what's coming up: Hospital waiting rooms, and people in crisis waiting there, are way more dramatic than anything on "ER" and it's real life; My most humiliating moment talking to someone about God, in a Cracker Barrel no less; God wants a metamorphosis to take place in your life, but it requires some changes on your part; Recent findings show women who are involved in religious activities are "happier"; and putting relationship front and center in church is where it's at.

Last in a series: The more I get to know God, the more I realize how much I need to grow

2008-01-23T05:43:00.000-08:00

I've left some comments on the past couple of entries and also on the one from last Wednesday "We'll strain a gnat and end up swallowing a camel ..." Please take a look and respond.

This is the last entry in a series of posts written by West Tennessean and Jackson Sun reader Susan Prince. After talking with her, I felt strongly that the wisdom she has shared with me on a variety of topics needed to be shared in her own words with Faith Matters readers.

I hope you've enjoyed the series and have visited her blog (there's a link at the bottom of this entry).

Today she touches on a refrain I've heard often from Christians (and have even felt myself from time to time): "God have mercy! I'm unclean! How are you ever going to fix me? And can I be forgiven?"

Prince continues from the previous discussion on the fact that nothing that happens to us catches God off guard. In fact, he uses those things that may send us into a "spiritual depression" for our good and for His glory. Here goes:

I believe Satan works in the midst of our churches more than on the streets of our cities. The devil's work moves along smoothly in the dark alleys of the city streets because there is no resistance there.

Satan is sly and sneaky and is on the prowl in the houses of God where he can do the most damage. I don't think many Christians prepare for that because we don't like to imagine that Satan is there, in our houses of worship. But our churches are filled with sin, too.

When we forget that, we let our guard down, and things happen, which leads to division. It is a work of Satan. He knows that divided we fall.

There is good news! God is a God of restoration. Sometimes things must be destroyed in order to be rebuilt. I think some of that "break down" happens in the desert.

Praise God! There is hope for those being broken down, because that will allow the healing to begin. Nothing that we experience catches God off guard. None of it! While it can come as a sudden shock to us, God knew of it all along, and He has no fear. He is also working to see that all things work together for good for those who love Him.

The closer we get to God, the more we see ourselves and can see the "ick." This I understand. We are like Isaiah, and when the light is shone on ourselves, we realize how unclean we are.

But, we are made clean by His touch! This is a healthy kind of humility. Have you ever felt "false" when you worship? When we understand that we are not worthy of Him, and allow Him to make us righteous, that is good.

But if we are not allowing Him to make us righteous, and just thinking about how "false" and "hypocritical" we are, we are putting God in a box. That is bad. We are not trusting Him to make us clean.

We are saying we are "too far gone," or "God can't fix me" -- and that is all a LIE STRAIGHT FROM THE PIT OF HELL! I have believed this lie on occasion. Anyone leading worship should not believe this lie. Anyone who seeks to truly worship God in humility should not believe this lie.

It is very hard trying to encourage others when we need encouragement ourselves. I think some of us can do that for a little while, but then we get pulled under by the tide. But, again, our hope should not be in others and how others can make us feel better, it must be in Christ alone.

The Psalmist said: "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." I am struggling with bitterness and hurt, and much of this stems from problems with "bad Christians" having hurt me or people I love, and some I must accept the blame for myself.

This is where I am attempting to go to God for forgiveness and help. I think the biggest thing I've done in this struggle is asking others to help me. As Christians we must pray diligently for ourselves and each other. We must be transparent and be able to say "Hey, I need to be encouraged" and "I need help."

All Christians will at one time or another experience spiritual depression. Don't give up! Pray and seek Him even when you don't feel like it! Thank Him for this season and how you will grow from it. Be transparent, and tell God how you feel.

Tell yourself how you feel -- admit it! Admit you are in a spiritual desert, and invite those who love you to help carry you through it. You will emerge a different person, but it will be a person closer to the image in which God created you. He will be rejoicing about that, and you should, too!

Prince, who is a West Tennessean, has her own weblog, "Sisters' Weblog: It Bloggles the Mind!" You can access it here.

Next post: Next time you're bored in a doctor's office, put somebody else at ease by talking with them.

Thanks for sharing; I'm sharing some pictures today

2008-01-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all for sharing, and keep it coming. I've just put five comments up from different readers, so please check for them.

Just got back from orthopedist. I've got a strain or sprain in the rotator cuff, likely from aggravating an old kayaking injury, but it hurts like crazy and won't get better unless I stop using it. So hopefully a week or so of rest and a few weeks of therapy will do the trick.

I will be doing much less typing for the next three weeks, although a friend has offered to type for me so that I can keep the blog going.

Meanwhile, in honor of my favorite sport and in hopes of hopping back into my kayak in April, click here to go to my personal homepage to see images from the trip on which I first wrecked my shoulder in late September. How to find them: Under My Photos, look to "more albums" and scroll down to "My Blog Photos Nov. 16." After a few of my niece and nephew, you'll eventually see images from my trip to the Harpeth River in Middle Tennessee with a friend and her kids this fall.

Next post: I haven't forgotten about the guest column, the last of which will run tomorrow.

Got something inspiring to say? Tell us your story

2008-01-21T11:25:00.000-08:00

I'm interrupting the guest columnist series again to make mention of something that is on my heart. I mentioned this in the comments from a couple days ago but want to post it here also for all to read. Here goes:

Please use the comment box to tell me and Jackson Sun readers what God is doing in your life.

Tell us about what God is showing you in this hour. Tell us about your victories. Give us your testimony of how God has brought you through. Share what's on your heart with us.

I believe that God wants this to be a place where "the redeemed of the Lord say so" as in "Hey, look what God is doing in my life. Look how He has brought me through this situation and that situation. Look how awesome God is!"

We can "encourage one another daily, while it's still called today." Let's do that. We've been admonished in scripture to do so.

You're more than welcome to share your prayer needs, your concerns, your struggles, your thoughts about what you're reading in your Bible or inspirational books or whatever and what you're hearing from God in a variety of ways, whether it's based on what you heard at church today or what God has spoken to you in whatever the situation or circumstance might be.

I mean this with my heart. God spoke to me through prophecy a long time ago the following: "Be the exhorter that I've called you to be and I'll bring people out of the holes that they've dug for themselves and bring them right on through ..."

Now that's a direct reference to the scripture (and I'm paraphrasing here,) "They dig a hole and fall into it, they roll a stone and it rolls over on them."

The Lord has told me on more than one occasion prophetically that my dominant spiritual gifting is in the area of exhortation. That word "exhorter" means, among other things, an encourager and a counselor, one who admonishes others."

And I've seen that coming out more and more over the years in a variety of ways as I've grown in God -- in songwriting for a congregation, in leading worship, in counsel, in prayer one to another, in intercessory prayer for my church and for the Body of Christ and now with the pen.

But we're all supposed to be exhorting one another. My understanding is that several thousand are reading and coming back frequently. And those several thousand need to be encouraged.

Let's make this forum a network in the Body of Christ to share with one another and to encourage one another in the Lord. We need it always but especially in this hour.

Don't underestimate what God can say through you.

Next post: The last in a series of guest columns will continue.

Once again, explanations are in order

2008-01-20T13:15:00.000-08:00

I posted this a few days ago in the comments after having to delete posts by a banned reader. His privileges have been revoked for a reason. I'm putting it front and center here again so that there will be no mistaking what is going on here. I'm reposting here what I wrote in the comments a couple of days ago.

Here goes:

The person who continually disregarded and disrespected my repeated warnings no longer retains the privilege of posting here. I am deleting his posts regardless of what they say, whether I believe they're scripturally sound or not.

It may seem like I'm being harsh and unforgiving (not the case at all), and it may seem to some, and especially him, that I'm being discriminatory.

I tried very hard to be gracious for a very long time. But eventually the grace period has to end.

Here are the reasons behind the rules of engagement:

Our society has become a place that has not only embraced the insult but has begun to celebrate the insult.

So now we're used to hearing people insult one another and dog one another on the radio, on television shows and in movies, in comedy routines and in chat rooms.

People will say anything about anyone and anything to anyone, with no repercussions whatsoever.

Because we hear it so much and see it so much, we've become accustomed to this kind of behavior -- insulting, rude putdowns -- even between Christians, one to another and toward non-believers.

And it has become an acceptable, even favored, behavior in our society. People enjoy hearing others insult one another -- even Christians.

I just don't go for that.
We can get our point across without intentionally insulting one another. I've said all of this repeatedly, but the one who has been banned chose to repeatedly ignore it -- and therefore chose to be banned. The grace period ended for him a long time ago.

He disagrees with my decision and has made that clear to me with more insults that I'm not going to post here in the comments. But it's his problem, not mine.

It is entirely possible to disagree with one another and to be plainspoken and honest about how we feel and what we believe -- sometimes even brutally honest -- without making another person feel like an idiot.

I think that how we treat one another -- face to face or online -- and how we treat non-believers is a huge indicator of our maturity level in Christ.

I take this part of my job very seriously. This blog isn't a hobby. And I don't just throw something together every day to pop online so that I'll meet a quota.

I take it seriously because I believe that God's word should be handled carefully. And everything I say is said with an understanding that I cannot misrepresent God here and not be judged.

And as the writer and moderator of this forum, the Lord will hold me accountable for how I've conducted myself and for how I've conducted the forum.

If it becomes a place for people to talk to one another any old way, then I haven't honored the Lord.

Part V in guest column series: Man's inhumanity to man

2008-01-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

Folks: I'm still struggling with my shoulder problem and will visit orthopedist tomorrow. I may not be responding much because I'm trying to avoid typing right now. It's straining my shoulder. But I will be immobilized here in my chair all day and will be checking frequently to update your comments.

If you're unaware of how comment moderation works, let me give you a primer. When you send a comment, only the text of the comment shows up to me. Comments publish in the order that they have been received no matter which one I'm aware of first. I'll publish them as soon as I'm aware of them.

Now then. I have left questions and comments for three different readers in yesterday's comment box. So please take a look and respond. Also, I want to say this: Please use the comment box to tell me and our readers what God is doing in your life. Tell us about what God is showing you in this hour. Tell us about your victories. Give us your testimony of how God has brought you through. Share what's on your heart with us.

I believe that God wants this to be a place where "the redeemed of the Lord say so." We can "encourage one another daily, while it's still called today." Let's do that. You're more than welcome to share your prayer needs, your concerns, your struggles, your thoughts about what you're reading and hearing from God in a variety of ways.

I mean this with my heart. Let's make this forum a network in the Body of Christ to share with one another and to encourage one another in the Lord. We need it in this hour.

Whew! On to today's topic: I'm trying to keep it short and sweet so that we can really mull over what's being said here each day by Susan Prince. She has covered a lot of ground and offers wisdom on several different things that challenge the well-being of the church.

In today's entry, Prince discusses catalysts for church splits and how we can avoid bitterness toward others in this area by keeping our eyes focused on Jesus:

Christians are forever going to hurt Christians. We will do this over and over and over again. I had a friend tell me once, "NEVER trust in man, they will ALWAYS let you down eventually."

I didn't want to believe this. Again, I was naive. I couldn't understand how it is that God-fearing people could let one another down. I failed to factor in sin.

"ONLY trust GOD." This is very wise counsel. Man is prone to follow his heart at times, and the Bible teaches that the heart is deceitful above all things.

I've never experienced a church split, but I've heard it is awful and very painful. This is something I hope I never experience. As church bodies we sometimes fail to look to God and Jesus Christ as the Head of the church. We get off track BAD when we look to man -- any man, a pastor, a worship leader, an elder, whomever.

Popular preachers will sometimes change churches, and it always struck me curious that congregants will leave and follow that preacher. That is spiritual dysfunction. God places us in certain church bodies to use the spiritual gifts to glorify Him and edify the body.

If we are following a man from church to church, there is something seriously wrong! God never NEVER gave us spiritual gifts to glorify man!

Next post: The last in this series -- Don't believe the lie that you can't be forgiven. God doesn't kick us when we're down. He offers mercy and abounding grace for the one who recognizes his sin and wants to change.

Prince, who is a West Tennessean, has her own weblog, "Sisters' Weblog: It Bloggles the Mind!" You can access it here.

Part IV on spiritual depression: If we appear to have it all together, that's no encouragement to others who struggle

2008-01-19T07:56:00.000-08:00

Please read some responses I've left on the past couple of posts.

Continuing with Part IV of a series by Jackson Sun reader Susan Prince:

Yesterday's post included a discussion on how Jesus, while carrying the weight of the world on His shoulders, was prone to getting off by himself to commune with God the Father. Yesterday's entry ended with this: "We should learn from Him (Jesus)! At times, we need to withdraw! We need to pray! We need to put on our spiritual armor daily! ... We need to learn to be just as relentless in our pursuit of knowing God! Just as relentless in our pursuit of trusting God. As Christians, let us encourage one another to do that!"

Prince continues with thoughts on how God doesn't use robots, he uses real people with real problems, people who struggle and aren't afraid to be honest about it: One way to do that (to encourage one another) is through transparency. God works through broken people. People who have broken spirits can be used by God.

A wild horse bucks and expends a lot of energy with no direction, but once tamed the animal is very useful for work. The same unbridled energy, once focused, is a force for good. People with broken spirits are the best worship leaders because they can encourage others to lift their lives up to the Lord.

If a worship leader has it "all together" and can put on a good show, how can God use that? If a worship leader is transparent, unmasked and prays from the heart and sings to his/her Lord with love and devotion, that is true worship.

Worship is when we put God back in the place He belongs, on the throne, and we step out of the way. We are happiest when God receives the praise, not us, but Satan lies, and too often we believe the lie that we are really something special because of what we "do for God."

No! We are something special because of what God has already done for us!

Next post: Prince continues with more nuggets of wisdom on how the enemy uses Christians to divide and conquer through selfish ambition and church splits.

Also coming up: How God can use that season of "spiritual depression" we've been talking about here to bring personal restoration when you've been let down by other Christians.

Prince, who is a West Tennessean, has her own weblog, "Sisters' Weblog: It Bloggles the Mind!" You can access it here.

Spiritual depression caused by a variety of things: Part III; Also, don't miss MLK service Monday at St. Mary's Catholic Church

2008-01-18T11:53:00.000-08:00

This just in: St. Mary's Catholic Church sanctuary, 1685 U.S. 45 Bypass, Jackson, will have its fifth annual program celebrating the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at 7 p.m. Monday. The guest preacher will be The Rev. Ben Cox, an original Freedom Rider of the 1950s and '60s who risked his life by leading civil rights demonstrators in public protests against segregation.
The guest soloist for the event is Allen Franklin Todd II, a professional bass-baritone who made his debut with the Jackson Symphony in December 2007 as winner of its first vocal solo competition. Refreshments will be served. Call 668-2596.

Also, please read my most recent response in yesterday's comments. And feel free to comment away.

Today, Part III of an ongoing series by Jackson Sun reader Susan Prince on discerning God's purpose for dry times in the Christian walk (If you're just coming in on this, please scroll down to Part I on Jan. 14 so you'll get the foundation for this discussion. If you don't you'll miss out.)

From yesterday: Talking with a friend about feeling like she is in a desert -- a dry, desolate place -- spiritually, Prince continued with this idea: That with having the gifts of discernment, intercession, wisdom and prophecy can also come the propensity to go through periods of spiritual depression, i.e. carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, just because you have a tendency to see how serious a situation or circumstance really is (I've done this myself for years, and I have to guard against getting too serious and being depressed over what I see going on or not going on).

Prince continues: I answered my friend and said "I understand that my newfound faith was very emotional, but it was naive." I don't want my faith in the Lord to be grounded in emotion. It is like any love relationship, it's all "feel good" at the start, but time wears on and the novelty wears off.

There needs to be depth for real love to take root. There needs to be fertile soil. The love I want to have for God is a total trust kind of love. A contentment in the fact that God's love for me is for who I am and who He created me to be.

There is nothing anyone can say to change God's love for me, there is nothing anyone can do to make Him love me less, and there is NOTHING I can do to make Him love me more. He just loves me. He knows nothing else! He is love!

Christians are blessed with spiritual gifts. They are given by God to edify the body and glorify Him. Unfortunately, when spiritual gifts are not honed and practiced correctly, they can have an "opposite."

I've learned that my spiritual gifts of discernment, wisdom and prophecy can actually hinder me in the areas of being critical and judgmental, and I am learning to deal with that.(I have a LONG way to go too!)

Those with the gift of compassion have an "opposite" as well, which may be getting pulled into the area of seeing only negative (glass half-empty), feeling guilty because you can't help more, always seeing a need, etc.

Now, consider Jesus Christ. He embodies compassion. His life on this earth exemplified compassion. His pure heart was troubled by the sufferings of His people. He traveled and taught as much as He could while He was here with us, (Emmanuel), and at times I bet His heart was burdened so much for us that it broke.

I wonder sometimes how this reflected in His countenance. I mean, how can a man walk around and see the suffering and injustice that He did and not look downtrodden? The Bible never really says "... and this cool dude Jesus had people following him all over the place because he was so much fun to be around. He was always smiling and just had this way with people. People loved him and wanted to be near him."

But because of the fact that crowds followed him, I believe he must have had charisma. He had a magnetic personality, and people were attracted to that. I imagine he liked to "play," the equivalent of throwing the ball around today, tossing the Frisbee, and maybe splashing in puddles, just to be with people.

That kind of thing makes people like you and want to be around you. He was invited to parties a lot, and people enjoyed opening their homes to Him. I think he often wore a smile. After all, He was spending His time with those He loved dearly (although rarely do artist renditions depict a smiling Christ).

Now think about that, it is such a contradiction -- a man walking around, carrying the burdens of the people He loved so much, carrying them to the extreme, with such a grace and "style" that people flocked to him.

He even carried the burdens to the cross! The cross IS EXTREME! (He didn't smile at that point though.) Anyway, how could He do this? How could he present Himself as someone people liked to be around? How could he keep His heart focused?

He prayed. A lot. He withdrew. A lot. He had on His spiritual armor.

A note about intercessory prayer: Intercessors see all the "ick" of life. Praying people through needs constantly and seeing that needs are never ceasing can be overwhelming. This might even contribute to spiritual depression.

I've been there, I am there, praying for someone's needs that never seem to be met, or when they are it seems like there is another tragedy waiting around every turn. But we must remember that all of these needs do NOT surprise our Lord, nor are they our personal burdens to bear.

They are His. We can pray, and we can help comfort, but ultimately, we must learn to trust that He is in control and that He will provide. He knows we can't do it, which is why He taught us to take His yoke -- because He is going to take ours!

We should learn from Him! At times, we need to withdraw! We need to pray! We need to put on our spiritual armor daily! AND we need to trust HIM! Jesus was NEVER on the defensive in this world, never should we be.

We ARE ON OFFENSE! We have the ball! The devil is out to destroy us and he is flailing. Just like we know the final outcome, so does he, so he pulls out all the stops!

He comes at us relentlessly. We need to learn to be just as relentless in our pursuit of knowing God! Just as relentless in our pursuit of trusting God. As Christians, let us encourage one another to do that!

Next post: One way to do that, Prince says, is through transparency with others.
Prince, who is a West Tennessean, has her own weblog, "Sisters' Weblog: It Bloggles the Mind!" You can access it here.